Ok here it is. I am letting out deep anguish with this post. Sometimes when you have much to say, it comes out as complete unstructured gibberish. This is going to be like that -

Growing up I never knew i was an unattractive guy. It was only after I hit b puberty that i relauzed that i was going to be a short plain looking guy - to be ignored by girls. In my high school and univ i heard abt guys dating and having fun with girls. Mostly i thot they were making up stories. In univ, many guys did have fun. I dd not. I had zero expectation. I turned out to be a geek - not by choice but it was the only option. Well this geek did well in academics and labded a great job, well paying and all. Much more than any of the guys I grww upbwith. But that does not take away the difficulty in getting interest from any girl. In any event or social gathering i might as well be invisible. If at all they talk, i am their friend. Yeah - friend-zoned. It is as if i am not even a guy and i have no sexual desire. Cpl of girls that i thought were interested in me. - later tirned out were interested in another guy too at the same time. It crushes me initially. But later i accepted it - there was nothing so great abt me for a girl to be interested in me. And if she was - then she was a freak who was into multiple partners and just wanted a geek as one of her many partner. Strangley it fed into a fetish of mine - which is where my gf asks me to invite other guys for her satiafaction.

Being unwanted like this - makes me angry and depressed. I dont like women in general. Sometimes i am rude to them, specially the pretty ones. If i wver see a blonde skinny girl, i pretend she does not exist. I will let the door slam on her face or mutter "*****" as she passes by. I get really depressed when i am walking with a good looking guy how all girls look at him with such inviting eyes and how they smile at him.

I am married now. Met my wife in a chat site. Am glad that i found her. But still it affects my confidence that i am a socially unwated unattractive male
FitBrown FitBrown
41-45, M
3 Responses Aug 21, 2014

it seems to me youve drawn some pretty deep lines in your mind dividing women into groups that you believe they all fall into all because you dont like the way you look. lots of people dont like the way they look but they get over it. personality is what really counts and if you can stop your habit of catagorizing you might see for yourself.

Hugssss👐💕

I'm a lot younger but, i'm the same, except i'm not married or rude to girls. I try, but to no avail.

I am inherently a nice guy. When i am rude, i am not that rude. Though i wish i cud

Oh, well just be nice.

Yeah. But many girls feel entitled to being treatd nice and dont feel they have to reciprocate

It's flirty nice. I'm being a bit of a hypocrite, but it is.

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