I Don't Know How To Feel Anymore...

I've felt sadness majority of my life. Stemming from an abusive home, my first marriage a disaster, having multiple pregnancy losses, and now getting laid off. I feel like I'm cursed...like A dark cloud constantly is over me. I thought that when I got re-married things would be better...and it did for a while. But he is like a rock and I'm a soft pillow. Sometimes when we argue it makes me feel more of a failure. I know I should be grateful and I am...but I feel so alone. I ask myself what is my purpose here? Is it just to get my heart trampled on? I don't want to continue to feel this way and I know I deserve to be happy...I've tried...but it's like I'm the kid who gets picked last or not at all; while I watch others enjoy life. Is it me? I do for others more than I do for myself...I try not to hurt anyone...I try to be a good person...but yet I'm punished for it...(((sigh))) Thanks for listening...
SaddnessAroundMe247 SaddnessAroundMe247
36-40
Dec 4, 2012