Learn From My Mistakes

Hello

I am so unhappy, why I dont know
I have always struggled.  I have been married for 31 years. have 2 grown up children.
All my life I have found it hard to cope,  I am 1 of 7 children a girl, 
I am full of self hate and disgust.
My Dad has just died of Alzimers after being in a care home for 2 years.
I hated leaving him there, he had a visitor every day, but I remember him shaking with fear when looking at certin carers.
My family said it was the illness I never beleived it even though the care home was of the highest quality.
I drink far too much,  2 full bottles of sprit a week.
I have a son with adad age 19  he is struggling in life, stealing from me, taking drugs, swearing at me , but so child like.
He is the way he is because I drank achohol and his dad took drugs when he was conceived.
We did not know back then.
I have lost my job, my mun  is near to death.  I need something to cling on to
I am still married.  But I beleive my husband had a number of affairs one with the sister of a mate, one with the same mates lover.
This was 20 years ago , I never even throught about it until I went to a party of the sister of the mate, her 19 year old son was the image of my husband.
The coy looks between the mother of him and my husband said everything.  Her son was bright as as button,big,strong, her the drugdealers sister.
My son child like and autistic. I never touch a drug in my life. It is so unfair.
TO LOOK AT ME I AM FINE, I AM SO SORRY,I NEED TO HELP MY SON.
tcryan tcryan
46-50
1 Response Jul 21, 2010

Its awful to say but to help your son you probably need to let it come to head. Sometimes it can be the only way to help as it wakes them up and they start to stand on their own to feet. Give your husband a shock try coming on to him or if you are so inclined get even and have some fun yourself. There is always somebody out there. Good luck girl and hope you sort your problems lots of love and a big hug (its all I have)