Don't Know How To Be Happy!

I wake up happy but i end up unhappy.. I don't know if its because of me or the people i'm hanging out with.
Clearly i'm a teenager and i believe that this year, last year in college must be memorable and so it can be memorable it musst be full of hapiness or something like that. I blame my parents first of all, they're the ones that makes my life suck!! OR because of my friends, me can't do like they do ! They go out, they have money, they dress pretty good and all this stuff .. but i always feel like i'm under them .. otherwise i'm sure that my father can afford everything i want to me .. com'onnn its a lawyer! I don't know if i should accept the way my life is or do something about it because i'm done !! i'm tired of trying to be someone while no one is helping me here! and no one of them stays out of my business .. I don't even know what they expect from me! i'm just lost and i dont even know how to formulate a right sentence! suddenly it becomes all about me .. i'am only fighting with my self! i can stay like this because i'm going crazy, sometimes i start talking my self and when i want something i dream it instead of trying having it! i don't believe in my self because of them.. i blame them for everything that happend to me, happening to me, and will happen to me because i knooooooow that its going to be their fault !! exept that i'm okay LOL!

wasailluminati wasailluminati
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 4, 2012

I cannot message im going to post it here instead.

Hey, I have a suspicion my friend is apart of the illuminati. I brought up the conversation of different groups such as the illuminati and showed him the all seeing eye symbol (the one on your profile) and everything has changed. We used to hang out and cool stuff, but now he's totally avoiding me, and giving me a lot of glares and uncomfortable feelings. He is super, he has a Lamborghini!!! He lives in a rich family, yet he goes to a low economy public school with me. It makes no sense. He one pulled up in his dads limo. Wtf. I remember him saying something about being a fighter back in his country, he would beat up people, in a gang or something, kill and capture? It was a boasting thing to impress me I guess, he never talks about it anymore. I thought he was lying. I really want to be friends again, wtf is going on? Is he just being a **** or is he actually something big?

Can you delete this when your done reading? I really just wanted to message you in private.

Lolll girll I feel like I know what you're going through. A lot of stuff you wrote is exactly how I feel as well. However, we are the masters of our own destiny and we are the only ones who decided whether we want to give into circumstances and feel a certain way. The hard part is accepting that haha, which I'm having trouble doing :P

Just want to let you know you're not alone! :)