Why Am I So Unhappy?

i dont understand. why am i so unhappy - in desperation i googled this question an found this website.

recently i have been so stressed that when i finished work on friday i just packed a bag and took off on my own to get away from everyone and everything. i had beautiful views, quiet chill out time to myself, nothing and no one to worry about but me.

now im back down to earth with a bang - have only been back a few hours and can feel the stress and distress building up again already - i feel so weak and ungrateful for what i have. i cant make anyone understand when i cant understand it myself

barmouth barmouth
3 Responses Jul 20, 2009

I googled it as well, it looks like I am not the only one. I read other's stories and came to know that there are people in worse condition than me, still they struggle and try to be happy. So should I, so should everybody. God bless all.

My view is that we are all in a stressful environment all the time.......my solution is to get out bird watching on my own .......do not undestimate the power of I alone

I am relieved to hear of another person who may be feeling something similar to what I'm feeling. your sentence: "I feel so weak and ungrateful for what I have" sums up my feelings. <br />
I have a great job, it's not too much stress, it pays pretty good, and the people I work with are pretty much great. I have a husband who loves me, although he's not a great provider he has a kind heart and is an amazing father.<br />
My daughter brings me so much joy when I allow myself to feel it. She's wonderful and beautiful and a lot of fun. My mom lives nearby and showers me with love, encouragement and support. I have a roof over my head (a small one, but still) and food on the table. <br />
When I'm feeling down, feeling like I don't want to deal with anything, I try and tell myself how wonderful I have it. My life is great, what more could I want? Why is it so hard to get out of bed in the morning? Why after a weekend at home do I find myself apprehensive about the coming week? (it's not the job, b/c the job is really not that bad) It's not my life, so it must be me. Why can't I be happy with the situation that I'm in? The only answer I keep coming to is that I'm actually unhappy with myself. I want to escape life not because it's horrible, but because it's beautiful and I am an ugly blemish on it's beauty. I am disgusted with who I am and with the show I seem to be putting on for everyone. Everyone around me tells me how amazing I am, but I know I'm not. I feel guilty for letting them believe this about me. I am SO pathetic, and nobody really gets it. Nobody truly understands how selfish and lazy and pathetic I am. And I just keep running from them. But I'm really running from myself. I want to love myself. I can't remember if I've ever loved myself.