I Worry A Lot.....

There is nothing worse then being alone at night and worried about something. At the moment, I lie awake worrying about my mentally ill sister, not having enough money, my job....and when I do go to sleep, I have horrible dreams. Of people who have caused me hurt or people I care about experiencing horrible things happen to them. I think both these things (not getting enough sleep/horrible dreams) are because of my inability (or lack of opportunity) to talk it all out. Whilst the feelings and thoughts are inside me, they will continue to destroy me. I recognize that. EP helps but I need someone to REALLY hear me. I guess I need to be stronger and keep searching for that person who will sit and listen to me. I am not close with my family, have no friends and so my only option is someone at work. Lack of sleep is making me irritable, over-emotional, paranoid and is making me ill with migraines and headaches. Some of my colleagues are aware of the migraines and one in particular was very concerned the other day. I kind of feel she may know something more is going on but maybe that's just wishful thinking. And you know, I often wish for that. That someone would actually SEE that I am hurting and in pain and come forward and help. But chances of that happening are slim so I myself have to reach out.
I long for the morning where I wake up and feel relaxed, well rested and lighthearted. Knowing that this day will come is the only thing that keeps me going.
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1 Response May 15, 2012

I feel tense with a great deal on my mind, but I dont think the answer is always to search for someone who will listen or help, although it of course does help to have someone listen. But as that is not always possible, I think the best answer is to try and help ourselves. <br />
Tell yourself all that is on your mind and respond how you would respond to someone you love very much. <br />
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Exercise; running, swimming and also massage are all really good to help relieve tension and anxieties.<br />
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I have started to use a meditation tape to help me relax and sleep better and I feel sure it does help... I am asleep before the tape finishes :)