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I'm Very Socially Awkward

Okay, So I suppose I am : shy, weird, socially inept, awkward, etc. I have social anxiety and always blank out when people talk to me.
And, I always think of the worst situation that could happen at any given moment anywhere in public where there's people around.

I hate being around people I don't know. I don't know if they'll judge me, just hurt me emotionally, or leave me mentally confused.

I dig deep into detail about people's emotions, thoughts, feelings, communication.... I just don't know about the what if's...

It's killing me socially! I cannot impress potential employers because of this and cannot make a single friend in person.

It's like the only way for me to have ANY social interaction is to use the internet - where I am not bombarded by faces and minds who wait to see what I will say or do next. I have my own time here to type down my thoughts and feelings without being interrupted or being waited on impatiently.

I hate the feeling of being judged in any way that would give any negativity and I cannot deal or handle situations where I am "put on the spot".

Thus, my friend and Mom think that I'm just being dumb by not doing the right thing. They don't understand, because they're not like me.

Anything I do is blamed on me for not doing the correct way of doing things by being socially comfortable or accepting those surrounding me.

I was fine for months not realizing I haven't even gone out to do anything, but my friend reminded me that people think there's something wrong with me and they ask him about it. Also, it's happened to my mom whenever she goes to places with me, people will ask her if something's the matter with me or whatnot. This has been happening ever since I could remember. I am very shy... cannot express myself when I'm around people whom I don't know..

I am very tired of this all and feel like the only way for me to have a social "living" is to be online forever. I'm so introverted, shy, and socially awkward.
lostgirl88 lostgirl88 18-21, F 179 Responses Jun 2, 2010

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I havent always been socially awkward. It all started with my ex. After years of recovering from a broken heart, I can honestly say that Im scared of girls. Most of you guys can laugh at me but honestly there were times when I was thinking that hell might be more confortable. Iv been struggling to get back to how I use to be were everybody loves me and it seems to be a mission these days. I would say that most of us are uncomfortable around strangers it seems and it makes sense due to the fact that you know nothing about the person.

I wanted to express myself and how I feel for so long and couldn't have done it better than you. I feel the same, feel like I'm just "weird" or something. And my parents always preach but they don't know how I feel. You're not weird or strange or anything just know there's many many people who feel the same way. Good luck :)

This is so me

The struggles of being so awkward is that's I say very weird things to get my nervousness out so I dont get an anxiety attack this of course keep me from having much friends being a weirdo and also I'm even like this with my girlfriend shes always wondering why I cant be so attached I am fifthteen years of age

Im like this too....and it is really frustrating... I am in my 20's and i want to find a job but everytime i want to actually step out there... The fear and what if always comes out and its hindering me... I feel so useless... And so limited. Its like i just want to dive in life but i cant beacause im too scared...of what other think, of embarrassing myself... I can only fully express myself in writing or the internet but in social interactions... My mouth is shut...

This is totally me, once I start living on my own(I'm 17) I'm gonna go skydiving, snow boarding.etc, with a couple close friends.. I don't feel like people are judging me when I'm having fun so I'm just going to try and have a fun filled life. I think u should have fun it takes away the negative thoughts or just doing something overwhelming(in a good way) will take Ur mind of of the bad things.

Wow I now know what Roberta Flack means in "Killing Me Softly With His Song". You just described my entire life in a few paragraphs.

Me too.

I feel like you just described my entire life!! You're not alone!!!!

People may not understand, but that's okay they don't have to. You must at least understand yourself and accept you in the moment. It's okay that you don't fit into the mold, there are plenty of people that don't and they have made it through life. I am guessing that you are young and if so.. just remember it takes time for people to find who they are and be comfortable with that. Be understanding towards yourself and figure out the things you like to do and enjoy life as much as you can. It will be a struggle, but nothing in life that is wanted the most is easy.

I agree completely. I've struggled with fairly crippling social anxiety most of my life and know that feeling of being put on the spot very well.

I'm finally beginning to embrace the fact that I am a quiet guy who just happens to prefer communicating in written words. As I learn to accept who I am more, it matters to me less and less what anyone else might think. And as I worry less whether others are constantly judging me, they actually do seem to judge me less. I'm still fairly quiet. I still prefer the written word. And this is definitely a processes that does take time and patience. But it is possible.

It would be funny if all us akwards got in a big group lol! It would be awkward but I would crack up so hard!

I've often though the same thing!

I feel like this aswell. I hate it when people say "just be yourself" its not that easy. Im lost confused i want friends i have been trying to talk to people lately i always feel like they think the worse of me. Its killing me to try to talk to people im so akward and like you dont know what to say. Im also one of those people that always go online for social interaction. Im at the point where i just want to quit trying to people. I have a very enthusiastic friend that helps me a bit. But im still lost help me aswell!

i was like that i am stronger now i use meds for anxiety and ocd but function ok out in the world you can to .just be yourself if ppl like you great if they don,t it,s ok a lot of ppl don,t like me on here i don,t care GOD made us all the same no one is better than you or me lol vinny

I feel that way too..(I'm so scared when every1 looking at me.i don't know why but I feel like the'y laughing inside and mumbling things just like they talking about my appearance ,:-(

I hate when people looking at me while mumbling,sumtyms I feel like I'm out of this world,that's why I went online to make my feel better or just watch anime all day.lon that way I make my self happy and feel good.

And I don't like man or a guy that I didn't know saying Hai or morning.im thinking always that they are perv.

I don't have confidence to alone

I feel just like you, but I learned how to live with it... But it's killing me already. I just act I am like them, like "normal". But yeah, I just act, and I have to force this in order to work. Here's a tip for your issue about getting your mind in blank when speaking. Play some online multiplayer action videogames, so you can speak with unknown people around the world, so you don't care what they think about you, also, you can practise speaking with the microphone to other players as you'll have a bit of reaction time. That helped me A LOT! It also helps to respond to insults tactically and harmfully to them, making you feel superior and earning self esteem! I know that might sound like being a douche, but they won't care! They don't know who you are! Anyway, for getting your brain to work correctly in order to speak to people, you should sleep a lot, and wake up by yourself, and not by a clock. That'll make your brain work really good, and this will make your work, effort, reaction time, mood, speak, better!

I hope you get a LOT of friends, and... Getting started on some social networks helps too.

-Anon

Lostgirl88, well written. I too have a lot of the same feelings?

I'm like this too. I can't bring myself to talk to anyone that I don't know, but I can talk to my friend just fine. I want to have friends and talk to people normally but I just don't know how. I don't know what to do.

i'm socially awkward too but not because i shy, simply because i felt like i'm not fit into the normal community. i've complicated personality and only certain people can understand me, which, by the way i'm comfortable with them.

Been there as well, ladies and gentlemen. My shyness reached it's peak when I was fourteen or fifteen, and I could hardly bring myself to speak to anyone. Some of the time I just wanted to melt into the floor, or to become invisible. The fact is that these aren't easy feelings to overcome, and it's not simply a matter of "being less sensitive" or just "getting over it." I did, however, realize that I was taking myself much too seriously. I decided to make a joke of my shyness. Watching Nat Tran from communitychannel helped me a lot: she has this tremendous ability to be self effacing while still being funny. Now, I constantly make fun of my lack of social skills; when I've been quiet for a long time, I love to catch everyone off guard with a sudden one liner. When you accept that you are awkward just like everyone else (oh yes, everyone around you IS insecure and IS feeling awkward, no matter how they behave) you'll be much more comfortable in your own skin.

I'm exactly the same way as you :/ Ever since I know I've always been shy, shy to the point being afraid of people, not knowing what to say most of the time. I don't talk much, I really don't talk, because I feel I have nothing to say. I am even afraid to go to school and most of the time I stay at home. The principal has noticed my absences and says that If I don't come to school regularly, he will throw me out. Everyone in school hates me for not talking and some thinks I have a strong ego where infact this is not true at all. My principal thinks I have a problem and my mum also thinks the same. My previous relationship did not worked out because most of the time I didn't talked and the guy wasn't understanding what was wrong. He just left and said I was a nice girl.. My shyness is causing a lot of problem. I know people ar inoffensive but still, I don't know why I am so afraid of people. I don't have any friends at all. The few ones I know just come to say 'hi', 'how are you' then they go to hang out with others that are more outgoing. I really don't know what to do to overcome my problem. .

I'm exactly the same way. I hated school because of social anxiety and always worrying if I'd do something wrong and get judged or laughed at. I just quit college partly because i felt awkward and out of place. I was studying graphic design but i didnt like it now im stressed about what i want to study but i dont want to go to school. I dont know what to do

This was also written on my bday

The way you described yourself is just like me. I'm so happy that I'm not alone in this. I over think everything. I always zone out when people talk to me too. I never really noticed I was quiet but then people started telling me. The worst part probably is, is that I never know how to respond to people. I just smile and nod. I guess we're in this together

I'm exactly like the rest of you, it's gotten so bad for me that I can't even talk to my own family because I just can't keep up with them even though I'm way more smarter than most of them. My mind just goes blank... It's like everything that people say is so normal and perfect like it was already sc<x>ripted.. But dispite how hard I try, my conversation skills won't even compare. It just flows out natural for them where you're just like how the **** do they do it? But, I suppose even though social skills don't come natural to us doesn't mean they can't be learned and perfected. I would recommend going out of your comfort zone frequently while staying away from condescending people. If you need an extra boost, anxiety meds could really help from what I've heard. Set goals and accomplish them cause that is something that's always made me personally feel ******* amazing. Andd try looking your best without coming off as a try hard. The compliments will help. Also, the more you keep to yourself, the more fuel it's going to add to the fire. Whatever you do, don't seclude yourself

I know this feeling so well. I thought it would get better after highschool and it hasn't. Now I'm about to graduate college and I can't even see what's next in my career/future through all of the classic frustration of being looked at like a complete weirdo. It only gets worse when I try to put myself in social situations and my flaws are brought to light. I clam up, go home and think of everything I want to say to all the people who laugh at me for some of the things I've said. Not mean things... Just strong words that will impact others positively and not negatively as they impact me. I need to stand up for myself and my issues, just not quite there yet.

Don't be so sensitive. I'm not saying u shud stop being you, i just mean like what u said about being afraid that strangers will hurt u. They don't know you well enough to be able to hurt u and vice versa. Most ppl truly aren't out to get u. They don't even no u!!!!! Did u have a bad experience perhaps in the past? If so u need to confront it, otherwise its going to be eating away at u for the rest of ur life. And by confront it i dont mean get closure with those that hurt u, cuz somtimes thats not possible. But acknowledge the things and peope that hurt u and choose to let it go and move on. Forgiveness doesn't mean that ur agreeing with those that hurt u it just means that ur choosing to get on with ur life. Trust me they'll get wat they deserve in due course. U must give urself respect, space and time. No more running and hiding. Perhaps maybe if u told ur family why u feel socially awkward they might try and help. If u don't speak up u wont be heard and assumptions will me made. PS u must respect urself b4 other ppl can. Don't confuse ur 'WHO' with ur 'DO' keep goin forward xx

Same for me. :/

Is it wrong to be introverted? Nah, and that's what I feel from you. Yet, everyone is giving advise. Advise is when this introvertedness gets to our head. Then, all we can do is chill. That and be silly as hell.

im the same way =/

I had a lot, and still do have a lot of the same problems. I always felt awkward or secluded around groups of people, or anyone really, and it was something I always struggled with. I didn't become shy from a dramatic experience ..I just never had a way with words.. I could never put my thoughts in words.. or express how I was feeling, or come up with ideas in conversation.. and if I did I always worried if it was relavant.. or.. a socially acceptable thing to say. And it really stressed me out.. and took a toll on my confidence in socialization. So I didn't socialize ..and the less I was around people the more I became introverted.. and less confident. Throbbing found out the reason that I had so much trouble expressing myself was because I was dyslexic. My brain just doesn't function the same as others. It doesbt cone naturally to me. So I had some couching and they taught me, given my disability how to be able to socialize better and it helped me a lot. I am much more confident now. Though I still struggle. I know what's wrong and I have strategies to cope with it. sqsocialize, I secluded myself and the less

i can relate. i am socially inept too. it's been very hard to get through life with people in it. i mostly kept to myself. i don't know how to communicate with people. <br />
i came from a large family, but only me and my brother were the last one.

Wow, my heart goes out to you. To be honest, almost everything you wrote applies to me as well and it's gotten worse throughout the past couple of years. Usually I only reply to stories like these to shoot an encouraging word or to try to reach out to someone with hope...but in this case I'm in the same boat and don't know how to fix the issue. It's impaired my life monumentally and because I actually love people and being around friends and having fun, I'm tired of it. I'm not giving up though, I know I have too much potential to just throw in the towel. I will do anything to find help and get better...If I can provide support to anyone else along the way, all the better. If you ever need to talk about your problem to someone with an empathetic ear, don't hesitate to say hi.

I find that wearing a push-up bra livens any conversational session.

Hi! I came accross your story, 2 years old now! How are you feeling now? :-) Hug!

Sounds like a classic case of social anxiety. I have it,too... And many other people have it, too.

I know u have tons of comments but hahha, i totally understand how u feel because i feel the same. I avoid going to parties or any social event. I feel uncomfortable around strangers. i's making my life like hell!

I can definitely see where you're coming from, it's the exact same way for me, down to imagining the worst situation possible when around people, thought I was the only one.

I thought I was the only person who was nervouse and anxious around people... Reading these comments has opened my mind to a wider spectrum about social awkwardness. It's comforting to know people with the same problems want to help each over an overcome this chapter of our life's.. It affects me at work.. Friends .. Relationship .. Argh even with my family! It's contagious and those around me start feeling uncomfortable.. I'm sure there a way out..

hello, my name is Destiny, and trust me, being socially awkward is nothing wrong. we are all kinds of socially awkward, as in i myself have screamed in a poor boys face for trying to console me. i've also been interperted as a creep because of the faces i make when i do certain things. i'm loud and obnoxious, and quiet and shy, we are everything at almost every moment. so, please don't feel guilty for being awkward. and if you ever think someone is thinking bad of you, stand tall, and ignore that voice in your head telling you they automatically hate you; because they don't and they won't. take the word of a wisewoman and "Stand without your crutches"

hey you wrote my story

hey you wrote my story

I fell the same sometimes I like it more talking to people over the Internet then in person it's just easy are and don't like meeting new people face to face

I myself only have about two friends, and one is my wife Jessica. I definitely get where you're coming from. I can not function in a social setting without escaping to a corner or going outside in the first 10 minutes. I assure you. You are not alone in this.

There is a level of trust, like this internet forum where people post their replays with good intentions. The users on this forum are real people and there are a lot more in real life. And when those people ask if you are ok to your mother and best friend, its sincere. <br />
<br />
But you are smart and highly conscious of how you are acting. Social strength is something you have to grow at, not by hanging in there but by living and forcing yourself to do it. It's like any skill; time and effort have to be put in to gain understanding.

This is the same way I am. This describe me at all.

I write as your friend. You are, no doubt, an amazing person. I hear your concerns and I am aware of your pain. You are on an incredible journey--and like any journey it goes one day at a time. I am interested in what you do enjoy, your dreams, the books you read and the movies you like. I'll look forward to hearing from you.

I think that you aren't comfortable with yourself, which makes it harder to be comfortable around other people. I know it's hard, trust me, I've been there. Fortunately I'm getting so much better this year. You have to find people that you can relate to. Try sitting with a different group of friends and talk about something random. If they ignore you, find someone else. Keep looking. It all gets better.

I think that you aren't comfortable with yourself, which makes it harder to be comfortable around other people. I know it's hard, trust me, I've been there. Fortunately I'm getting so much better this year. You have to find people that you can relate to. Try sitting with a different group of friends and talk about something random. If they ignore you, find someone else. Keep looking. It all gets better.

I know how it feels to fear people's opinions of you. Fortunately, I can assure you that it takes a lot of energy both to feed that fear as well as to hang on to it, and once you realize (A.) that you can never, ever, ever control what people think, and (B.) you actually let go of that fear, you'll feel a lot better. Secondly, I think it's very much OK to be "socially awkward." We all have different settings as individuals. We all have different settings as individuals, and you don't have to adjust to suit what you think is an ideal way to be.

I have to say you are not alone ... you are the same as me I have bipolar .I'm 23 years old but I don't know or what made me like this .at the age of 18-20 I was out clubbing every weekend going out mates I went kickboxing and other clubs and I get hit on by girls and il chat up girls I was so go going then like a slag in the face I find it so hard to go out its like a wave of fear people just going judge me and hurt me I think there only stab me and laugh at me behind my back I have lost alot of friends as i dont go out much anymore I truly hope this don't last for to long for being so out going out partying going to clubs I could happly chat with anyone I could buy any one drink take any one out on a date had no problems going out myself joining a new club or just jumping in my car driving anywhere for the day out and now like a slap in the face its like a wave of fear hope it changes back like it was before

How are you doing now? your story seems very similiar to mine. What blows my mind is when I was younger I use to be a player and find it hard to talk to girls these days after my ex.

I used to be the same way, still am to a lesser degree for a different reason, since my TBI. I used to be incredibly shy, and, as you describe, felt socially inept. Now, I have a speech handicap, so don't often talk to people not familiar with my speech patterns. Fortunately, by the time I regained my understanding and knowledge, the internet had become common, and I am able to freely express myself in forums like this. I speak from that history and tell you all that you have to do is be who you are. The world is not as threatening as some of us perceive it to be. Do not worry about any social skills you believe you have or lack. People are more apt to see someone negatively when they never interact that they may when we refuse. My idea is to ask myself who would I avoid, a person who never talks appearing stuck-up, or a person who communicates. Most would tend to gravitate towards one who is communicative at all and avoid one who never does. The internet is an excellent place to work on social skills. I chat one-on-one regularly to gain communication skills

The answer can be found in what you wrote here. You are still social, it's just online. And what that does is, that it reveals that your confidence is the issue. Of course, you won't be socially outgoing just overnight, it takes practice. Small by small, try to say hi or good morning to people you know at first, and then to people you don't know. After that ask people how they are doing, and spend time talking with one person you know alot. Afterwards, try to approach people and ask them for small help, even though you don't need any. Like, for example: Do you know what we have for homework? Practice talking in front of a mirror. Judging on how you write, it seems to me that you are quite thr social type. You just need confidence and practice. God will help you =D

:)

I can really relate to a lot of what you said. I have similar issues, yet I get lonely, and I wish for interactions with people. I feel like I'm always being judged, I hate feeling like the center of attention, yet there's a part of me that craves it. I can't talk to people on the phone, and just can't think of things to say. I get nervous when I have to interact with people I don't know. It really sucks, because it's making for a really lonely life. I used to get really involved with people and things on the television, but for the most part, I don't find much on TV that captures my imagination anymore.

I hate being put on the spot too, it's unfortunate my girlfriend and family believe I am possibly smarter than all of them ..but when I get nervous I turn into a " blonde" . and because we live in a society where first impressions are potentially the most important I come off as an idiot. then I get upset because I came off as an idiot and the other person didn't accept me ..lol . I'm working on it but I know what you mean . It's like being a grape that shrivels up in the spotlight to become a raisin .

Let me ask you, do YOU think there is something 'wrong" with you?

I thought I was the only one ,I can't seem to make friends or keep them, I always get nervous and anxious when someone talks to me and then I seem talk too fast or just say something weird that I didn't mean to say. At work it seems like I'm invisible for the most part accept when someone needs something ,out of work I just feel so alone even when I'm around people. I don't know why! I love life, I love people, I'm positive ,I'm not bad looking I just can't connect with people.When I was a child I was sexually abused by my babysitter ,I forgave her and tried to move on but I can't get it out of my head I feel like I'm tainted or just not wothy of lasting friendships or relationships. I laso have 6 half-brothers and 2 sisters but I only talk too one of my sisters they all talk to each other but not too me, I'm the youngest and never felt like I was wanted. I could never really get close to my cousins and other family members. Sometimes I think it's cause I'm mixed black/latino and the rest of my family are full black or full mexican I just feel like I don't fit in anywhere. Sometimes I feel like just giving up and just accept that I'm different and will be alone.

I used to be like that when I was younger. But then I realized I have to start living life for myself and no one else. I don't care if people judge me because they're not the ones living my life. I've found myself in my music, and it helps me not be shy. No matter what you do, there are always going to be ones who judge you. You just have to learn to not care what they think.

This is my advice, and i have came a long way when i was young i was like this. Stop caring what people think and do what makes you happy even if others dont agree who cares its your life, take control of it and do you and everything else will fall into place.

i am suffering from the same problem

You're a mind reader! Don't shun that! EMBRACE IT!!! That's such an amazing gift to have, to be able to read people's thoughts feelings, emotions, judgments, and so forth, and then to be so modest as to speak of it as if it was an inborn quality in everyone. I used to think I was socially awkward, and then I realized what social awkwardness is. All it is, is society not being able to handle people that are out of the ordinary or "awkward". People generally strive to fit a certain criteria of what society tells them they "Should Be" The awkwardness doesn't come from YOU, it comes from people acting strangely towards you because they don't understand how or why you do things. THEY are the awkward ones, NOT YOU!!! Embrace your individuality! I used to be the same way because I would see like 98% of Society acting so uniformly and then I looked at how different I was and thought "Well I must be doing something wrong then." NOPE! Believe it or not, damn near everyone is F*cking crazy! Very few people ARE NOT! Also, being able to basically read people's minds makes things... difficult. Everyone thinks things about everyone that they would NEVER say out loud, and the more frustrated and unhappy the person is, the more unkind things they'll think about a person. The way to get past "awkwardness" as we put it, is to accept that we're all crazy to some extent and taking an unkind disposition towards you ONLY reflects on they're own insecurities, and NEVER speaks truths about you. Understanding that will change your life! I really hope you read this! I tried not to make it too long, but... ya know. ALSO! Watch the movie "What The Bleep Do We Know" I have a strong feeling that you'll gain so much valuable insight from this movie. I wish you luck! And I'll friend you. Hit me up!!!

I was like you and to some degree still am.<br />
I know how you must feel, its like being in your own personal jail that you put yourself in.<br />
Things to remember.<br />
No one can please everyone.<br />
There will be some people that wont like you.<br />
Dont be afraid to live.<br />
Dont think of the worst of the world, it can be great.<br />
Thinking negative WILL bring negative responces.<br />
Sometimes I wait for topics that I am interested in to be talked about and then join in.<br />
Life is full of risks so take risks and put yourself out there remembering that no one can please everyone, you have a voice, use it.

:)

I used to be EXACTLY like that, but i realized that the fear was worst than anything that could happen to me. you gotta realize that sometimes people can only get to you id you allow them.<br />
everytime i feel myself about to silently freak out in a social situation i just say outloud "theres nothing these mofos can do to me that will affet my life"<br />
stay strong yo <3

Don't sorry much. I was so much like you when I was in middle and high school and a bit after high school. Every time I'd go somewhere, I'd assume someone was going to come in and shoot the whole place up or a bridge would collapse if I drove on it or the bank I was in would be robbed. More than likely that's caused by OCD. Also, he social anxiety, I had that, too. I still do to an extent. I've learned to get better with time. The chemical imbalance that causes anxiety also causes OCD and a host of other annoying attributes to live with. Let me assure you, there's nothing WRONG with you! I still ask myself, what is wrong with me from time to time but I know for a fact, nothing is wrong with us! Everybody else has the damn problem. You're a good person, that's all that matters.

sweetheart you are not alone ,there are many ppl in the same boat i was once like that , i finally got to a doctor and got some meds that help for social anxiety they take some of the stress away i would seek help and go from there , i once tried vitamins first but for me they did not work but every one is different, see what helps you yes you can get better but it sometimes takes a little time , get help and good luck to you . vinny

You dont need to beet your self up many people are shy and people should act rude to you because your shy. sorry about all the pain you have had you just need to move on with your life and dont worry what other people thank.

Social interaction should not be so stressful. <br />
<br />
People should not be putting so much pressure on you.

It's as if you're me...Word for word V.V It's truly hard. I recently opened up to my mom about because I want to go to college, but I won't be able to do it if I feel this way. I already skipped my first year, my parents thought I was just being lazy.<br />
The only difference between us is that I'm even socially awkward online, so I don't even make friends through the internet.

What you think is exactly what you get. Change your way of thinking. You got the power inside you. If they don't like you, it's their loss. You are beautiful and awesome. I was once shy and had low self-esteem but I realized that the problem is not with everyone but with my outlook. Believe in yourself, think that everyone loves you and you'll get exactly that. More power to you dear!

Hey i do the same thing the only time im really.me.is over txt or internet

hi ^~^ dont worry about being shy or akward im the same here so u r not the only one i also know how u feel if u want to we can be friends

I am so sorry that you are going through such a social blunder nightmare.. <br />
I guess the best advice I could give you.. is try not to worry so much about what other people think..<br />
If you are okay with your own actions and someone else says differently ..<br />
I say O-well!! let em feel differently.. but you should not be afraid of being yourself on account of how you "think" someone else will react or think of you. because in all actuality you really have no idea who the other person will react.. So instead of fearing the unknown embrace it as if turning pages of a book being read for the first time... <br />
<br />
God made us unique and different so that each of us can accept the other for their uniqueness!

I am exactly the same way. My family always asks my mom and sister why I don't talk and she just tells them 'She's like her father'. My mom and sister are both talkers and I have seen them talk to complete strangers.

Well, not everyone is a social butterfly - many of us have to work at it. <br />
<br />
The good news is that it is actually not too difficult. First, try not to over-think everything you do, work on your self-confidence and don't be shy - just learn to ignore your brain when it is keeping you isolated and challenge yourself. <br />
<br />
Then remember this - YES, you will be weird, boring, or idiotic...at times. But, you'll also make some friends along the way and good friends only remember your bright moments! Idiotic moment are the best ice breakers :) and we ALL have those.<br />
<br />
Jut approach people whenever you have the chance and do not over analyze it!<br />
you can also think of it as a game! and that the worst thing that can happen is you looking weird to a complete stranger.<br />
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Good luck!

Well, not everyone is a social butterfly - many of us have to work at it. <br />
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The good news is that it is actually not too difficult. First, try not to over-think everything you do, work on your self-confidence and don't be shy - just learn to ignore your brain when it is keeping you isolated and challenge yourself. <br />
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Then remember this - YES, you will be weird, boring, or idiotic...at times. But, you'll also make some friends along the way and good friends only remember your bright moments! Idiotic moment are the best ice breakers :) and we ALL have those.<br />
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Jut approach people whenever you have the chance and do not over analyze it!<br />
you can also think of it as a game! and that the worst thing that can happen is you looking weird to a complete stranger.<br />
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Good luck!

I used to feel like that, and believe me sometimes that feeling still overwhelms me, but one day i realized that all those other people also have the same or more skeletons in their closets and things they dont want us to know about. sometimes even the brightest of them make ***** out of themselves.<br />
I have always been of small built and in school there was a guy who was the terror of the school. played rugby for the first team and thought he could use his fists to knock everything the way he wanted it to be. I always wished that i could be more like him big and strong and for years i walked around with this inferiority complex about this guy. If something went wrong i would think that if only I was more like him then these things would not have happened to me.<br />
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One evening me and my wife was at a concert and i saw this man, about my length slenderly built and there was something in him that i could not get to. Eventually he steps up to me and greeted me using my first name. I apologised for not remebering him and guess what? this was the man who was so big and strong. He was just like me!!!<br />
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Believe me you are special. You need to get the attention of other humans because you deserve it. The world needs to hear your opinion! Yes sometimes you may say something that might sound "Stupid" to your ears but politicians do that daily and nobody avoids them because of them saying really dumb things. Learn to laugh at yourself sometimes.<br />
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You are important!!!!!!!!

you're exactly like me, You should read what iv'e posted, I think you're going through identical things that i am also.. <br />
Me and my boyfriend had an argument about it last night, And he calls me needy, saying i can't do anything by myself :/,<br />
But how do i get him to understand that feeling that you and i are going through.. It's impossible.. :/

This is the 115th comment so it's clear there are heaps of us with similar feelings.<br />
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Being good socially is a skill to learn.<br />
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I'm not A grade at it. I am open minded and interested in other people's stories. Getting to the point of communicating is the mission. I'm more inclined to do things on my own, work out at the gym, read, write, walk around exploring the city, go online. None of these activities require me to practice the art of conversation, so I have to think it through.<br />
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I can't generate conversation with every stranger I meet. If I'm around a stranger with a shared interest, or sharing a situation, I am comfortable to ask a question or make a positive comment. It might bring a one word answer, but it does the trick.<br />
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I'm part introvert, part extrovert. The introvert is natural but I don't like the social awkwardness of it. I don't like feeling inept or left out so...the extrovert slowly developed. It does feel like different parts of my personality but that's good, it broadens my experience.<br />
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I also realised I had a new part of me I could style. At first it felt like being in fancy dress. I went into shops and shyly approached shop assistants who were good with other customers to suggest clothes for me. I tried on things I would never have considered and I saw myself in a new light. Not all of the suggestions were winners but some were gold. I buy clothes all the time; sometimes I just wanted to see how I could look beyond my own imagination.<br />
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If you wear things that look good, they will project a more confident you. This attracts other people's attention. That's half your job done socially and you haven't had to say a word. It doesn't have to cost much either.<br />
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It's normal to worry what other people think and get anxious about it and worry about looking foolish. It's so good when you start to let go, and stop thinking about it. It's a weight off your mind and you start living.

I feel and think exactly the way you do. Although no one has ever told me there is something wrong with me, I feel as if they want to avoid me. There is always an awkward silence whenever I'm with someone alone like in a classroom. My classmates would start conversations with my only friend while I'm sitting next to him and they don't even bother to look at me. I don't know what's wrong with me.

As a kid I studdered really bad, and dew to that I now talk really fast and pretty hard to understand. Whitch causes me to be realy quiet around people. So yea I too kinda know what your going threw.

I know how that feels. I have been socially awkward and shy all my life. Since I was little any time I'm uncomfortable or anxious in any way, especially when I'm around people I don't know, I do this really embarrassing thing. I put my arms up over my head and I make this strange noise with my mouth. It's horrible and I can't control it. It's kind of like a nervous tick. It makes me even more self-conscience than I already am. I was so awkward and weird, that for most of my childhood, I didn't go outdoors a whole lot and I always did whatever my family wanted me to do. I literally never said no. I was always doing chores and helping out as much as possible at home, mostly to preoccupy myself. It wasn't such a bad thing, except that I had no freedom and no ability to make my own choices and live my own life. When I got into high school I some how managed to make a few friends. They were all different and strange and I guess that's why I fit in with them, but I was so desperate to have some kind of freedom that I started living vicariously through them and I got all wrapped up in their problems, which just made my life harder. On top of that, I was so desperate to hold on to my friendships that I allowed them to use me and put me in really bad situations. After all of that I lost most of my friends and started being the "good girl," again. But then something unexpected happened, when I was 22 I ran into an old friend from high school, who got me in contact with his brother and we fell in love. At first I was terrified because I thought he would never really except me and I didn't want to get hurt, but he did. He knows all about my weirdness and he just excepts it. He even helped to branch out and move far from home, which I never thought that I would do. He's my best friend. I no longer play by any one's rules, but my own and although I am still awkward, I have learned to except my self just as I am. If I can find happiness so can You. There is always hope, so don't give up.

I know how that feels. I have been socially awkward and shy all my life. Since I was little any time I'm uncomfortable or anxious in any way, especially when I'm around people I don't know, I do this really embarrassing thing. I put my arms up over my head and I make this strange noise with my mouth. It's horrible and I can't control it. It's kind of like a nervous tick. It makes me even more self-conscience than I already am. I was so awkward and weird, that for most of my childhood, I didn't go outdoors a whole lot and I always did whatever my family wanted me to do. I literally never said no. I was always doing chores and helping out as much as possible at home, mostly to preoccupy myself. It wasn't such a bad thing, except that I had no freedom and no ability to make my own choices and live my own life. When I got into high school I some how managed to make a few friends. They were all different and strange and I guess that's why I fit in with them, but I was so desperate to have some kind of freedom that I started living vicariously through them and I got all wrapped up in their problems, which just made my life harder. On top of that, I was so desperate to hold on to my friendships that I allowed them to use me and put me in really bad situations. After all of that I lost most of my friends and started being the "good girl," again. But then something unexpected happened, when I was 22 I ran into an old friend from high school, who got me in contact with his brother and we fell in love. At first I was terrified because I thought he would never really except me and I didn't want to get hurt, but he did. He knows all about my weirdness and he just excepts it. He even helped to branch out and move far from home, which I never thought that I would do. He's my best friend. I no longer play by any one's rules, but my own and although I am still awkward, I have learned to except my self just as I am. If I can find happiness so can You. There is always hope, so don't give up.

You're not alone. I used to be totally confident and able to interact with people and my surroundings. Then around 2 years ago something just snapped in my head. I wasn't able to be in public without sweating, feeling dizzy, feeling afraid of everything and everyone and eventually passing out. I can't tell you how many times I hid behind a wall or phonebox as I waited for a friend or relative to pick me up as I was shaking so much that I couldn't walk. After seeing the doctor and taking various medication-none of which worked-i decided it would be best to abandon the world altogether. I've become a recluse. I refuse to go outside for fear of, well, just about everything. There isn't a single thing that anyone can say to make me feel safe and all the positive people with their ' its about confidence' and ' you will always be judged' and ' there will always be danger' speeches will never know just how terrifying it is to deal with on a daily basis. It takes so much out of you. Your mind is VERY powerful. I guess it will be a slow process for us to recover-but we WILL recover :)

I've never been socially awkward but my sister feels VERY socially awkward, and the main problem from what I can tell in most situations is lack of confidence. You have to assess the good qualities about yourself and convince yourself that you have a lot to offer to people. also you have to chill when it comes to being out on the spot, you don't have to think of the right thing to say but rather what you feel and conversation will come much more naturally and it will be much easier to converse. Sorry to tell you but people will NEVER stop judging you, they will always have something negative to say about you because that's how people are. that's the first thing you need to get over or else you will never socially progress, also if people do judge you, who cares? you have things to offer to people who deserve them, and if they don't wanna be part of that then it's their loss. <br />
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P.S good posture, a smile, and confident body language are also helpful :)

Lot's of good feed back her. These people are with you and understand what's going on in your life. I'll bet there are people in your town having the sane problem as you are. try and find them, run an add in the paper. start a group of your own,, inviting like minded people to the group, invite a professional speaker to address the group . or just have a discussion forum .You are not alone so don't be alone

I can relate to that,coz I did the same thing too!! you know what lostgir88,thinking of negative thoughts is a waste of energy & time..would you like to be forever shy as YOU THINK you are?you need to be confident to overcome that..I'll give you a tip,list down your positive traits,the things your good at,drawing etc..focus on that,you'll feel good and gain confidence..& like what ViolaPercy said,in my own words,fooling yourself can be used in a positive way--you want to be confident,be a great conversationalist,witty,smart,beautiful etc.THEN CLAIM IT! pretend to be,then it can be your persona in the long run..but of course it requires your effort too: you want to be confident?know what your good at&do more to be good/expert at it;want to be a witty/great conversationalist?observe/watch good humored actors/movies,read books/magazines etc of various topics--so that when you meet a person who's into culinary, you got something tosay,you meet somone who's hot in political ideas,you can give your opinion about it...well it boils down to your willingness to LEARN..no one's perfect,each of us are unique,there's a reason God made you that way at FIRST--I tell you your weakness CAN be your STRENGTHS in the future..when I was still in your own shoes, this quote ignited the light inside me,I hope you keep it at heart as I did, here it goes..God said "trials are NOT the reason to GIVE-UP;but a CHALLENGE to IMPROVE our lives. It's NOT an EXCUSE to BACK-OUT; but ans INSPIRATION to MOVE FORWARD.."..oh, by the way please read Desiderata by Max Ehrmann, it's full of wisdom, I hope this helps :-D

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a Child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Marianne Williamson <br />
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this says it all..lostgirl88,remember that YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE, and what ever you think is what you'll attract..might as well think positive and be thankful for the gift of LIFE you have, don't waste it..SMILE and be happy! ;-D

i completely relate to that. it's not people, it's groups of strange people or people who don't seem approachable. i just get really rushed and panicky whereas at home i'm totally fine. arrgghhh

I can relate to this, and as a result, I have been to several therapists, done several (sex-related) things that I probably shouldn't have done, but I have also done research on this "shyness" problem, and some call it "social anxiety", some call it "Aspergers syndrome", whatever. If you have a Toastmasters group in your town, I would suggest that, since it helps you to think on your feet and become [more] comfortable talking in front of, or to people, and, people clap for you when you're done talking! It's programmed to be a positive, learning environment, and an international organization. I have had some local friends (male and female), have several hobbies which I can "brag" about (piano, architectural design, etc.), and go to art receptions, or get involved in the community. That way, when people see you again, they think "oh, he/she is actually trying to get out more". Then, assuming you give out your name, they start calling you by name, instead of saying "are you new here?" Being called by name is a good feeling. It makes you feel like you belong. Bemoaning your problem will not solve it. I've tried that, it doesn't work. Some people say "Act confident". As we "non-social geniuses" will respond, "Easier said than done". For many people, it helps if they're doing something that promotes confidence, instead of just trying to muster up a feeling of confidence. Whatever you do, develop your confidence in who YOU are, not how you measure up to someone else, because that is a slippery slide. There are also dietary possibilities which you may explore eventually, technically called "cerebral allergens" (Carl Pfeiffer, MD). They don't necessarily give you "hives" but they can put your mood in the dumpster within a few hours, and it's difficult to get out very quickly. Typical culprits are wheat/gluten, sulfites (such as in balsamic vinegar, dried fruit, etc.), etc. I'm not telling you anything I have not done myself. Some movies that allude to this issue: "Adam", "A Beautiful Mind" (this is more intelligence than shyness, but the effect on social activity is similar). <br />
Best wishes!