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I'm Very Socially Awkward

Okay, So I suppose I am : shy, weird, socially inept, awkward, etc. I have social anxiety and always blank out when people talk to me.
And, I always think of the worst situation that could happen at any given moment anywhere in public where there's people around.

I hate being around people I don't know. I don't know if they'll judge me, just hurt me emotionally, or leave me mentally confused.

I dig deep into detail about people's emotions, thoughts, feelings, communication.... I just don't know about the what if's...

It's killing me socially! I cannot impress potential employers because of this and cannot make a single friend in person.

It's like the only way for me to have ANY social interaction is to use the internet - where I am not bombarded by faces and minds who wait to see what I will say or do next. I have my own time here to type down my thoughts and feelings without being interrupted or being waited on impatiently.

I hate the feeling of being judged in any way that would give any negativity and I cannot deal or handle situations where I am "put on the spot".

Thus, my friend and Mom think that I'm just being dumb by not doing the right thing. They don't understand, because they're not like me.

Anything I do is blamed on me for not doing the correct way of doing things by being socially comfortable or accepting those surrounding me.

I was fine for months not realizing I haven't even gone out to do anything, but my friend reminded me that people think there's something wrong with me and they ask him about it. Also, it's happened to my mom whenever she goes to places with me, people will ask her if something's the matter with me or whatnot. This has been happening ever since I could remember. I am very shy... cannot express myself when I'm around people whom I don't know..

I am very tired of this all and feel like the only way for me to have a social "living" is to be online forever. I'm so introverted, shy, and socially awkward.
lostgirl88 lostgirl88 18-21, F 177 Responses Jun 2, 2010

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Im like this too....and it is really frustrating... I am in my 20's and i want to find a job but everytime i want to actually step out there... The fear and what if always comes out and its hindering me... I feel so useless... And so limited. Its like i just want to dive in life but i cant beacause im too scared...of what other think, of embarrassing myself... I can only fully express myself in writing or the internet but in social interactions... My mouth is shut...

This is totally me, once I start living on my own(I'm 17) I'm gonna go skydiving, snow boarding.etc, with a couple close friends.. I don't feel like people are judging me when I'm having fun so I'm just going to try and have a fun filled life. I think u should have fun it takes away the negative thoughts or just doing something overwhelming(in a good way) will take Ur mind of of the bad things.

Wow I now know what Roberta Flack means in "Killing Me Softly With His Song". You just described my entire life in a few paragraphs.

Me too.

I feel like you just described my entire life!! You're not alone!!!!

People may not understand, but that's okay they don't have to. You must at least understand yourself and accept you in the moment. It's okay that you don't fit into the mold, there are plenty of people that don't and they have made it through life. I am guessing that you are young and if so.. just remember it takes time for people to find who they are and be comfortable with that. Be understanding towards yourself and figure out the things you like to do and enjoy life as much as you can. It will be a struggle, but nothing in life that is wanted the most is easy.

I agree completely. I've struggled with fairly crippling social anxiety most of my life and know that feeling of being put on the spot very well.

I'm finally beginning to embrace the fact that I am a quiet guy who just happens to prefer communicating in written words. As I learn to accept who I am more, it matters to me less and less what anyone else might think. And as I worry less whether others are constantly judging me, they actually do seem to judge me less. I'm still fairly quiet. I still prefer the written word. And this is definitely a processes that does take time and patience. But it is possible.

It would be funny if all us akwards got in a big group lol! It would be awkward but I would crack up so hard!

I've often though the same thing!

I feel like this aswell. I hate it when people say "just be yourself" its not that easy. Im lost confused i want friends i have been trying to talk to people lately i always feel like they think the worse of me. Its killing me to try to talk to people im so akward and like you dont know what to say. Im also one of those people that always go online for social interaction. Im at the point where i just want to quit trying to people. I have a very enthusiastic friend that helps me a bit. But im still lost help me aswell!

i was like that i am stronger now i use meds for anxiety and ocd but function ok out in the world you can to .just be yourself if ppl like you great if they don,t it,s ok a lot of ppl don,t like me on here i don,t care GOD made us all the same no one is better than you or me lol vinny

I feel that way too..(I'm so scared when every1 looking at me.i don't know why but I feel like the'y laughing inside and mumbling things just like they talking about my appearance ,:-(

I hate when people looking at me while mumbling,sumtyms I feel like I'm out of this world,that's why I went online to make my feel better or just watch anime all day.lon that way I make my self happy and feel good.

And I don't like man or a guy that I didn't know saying Hai or morning.im thinking always that they are perv.

I don't have confidence to alone

I feel just like you, but I learned how to live with it... But it's killing me already. I just act I am like them, like "normal". But yeah, I just act, and I have to force this in order to work. Here's a tip for your issue about getting your mind in blank when speaking. Play some online multiplayer action videogames, so you can speak with unknown people around the world, so you don't care what they think about you, also, you can practise speaking with the microphone to other players as you'll have a bit of reaction time. That helped me A LOT! It also helps to respond to insults tactically and harmfully to them, making you feel superior and earning self esteem! I know that might sound like being a douche, but they won't care! They don't know who you are! Anyway, for getting your brain to work correctly in order to speak to people, you should sleep a lot, and wake up by yourself, and not by a clock. That'll make your brain work really good, and this will make your work, effort, reaction time, mood, speak, better!

I hope you get a LOT of friends, and... Getting started on some social networks helps too.

-Anon

Lostgirl88, well written. I too have a lot of the same feelings?

I'm like this too. I can't bring myself to talk to anyone that I don't know, but I can talk to my friend just fine. I want to have friends and talk to people normally but I just don't know how. I don't know what to do.

i'm socially awkward too but not because i shy, simply because i felt like i'm not fit into the normal community. i've complicated personality and only certain people can understand me, which, by the way i'm comfortable with them.

Been there as well, ladies and gentlemen. My shyness reached it's peak when I was fourteen or fifteen, and I could hardly bring myself to speak to anyone. Some of the time I just wanted to melt into the floor, or to become invisible. The fact is that these aren't easy feelings to overcome, and it's not simply a matter of "being less sensitive" or just "getting over it." I did, however, realize that I was taking myself much too seriously. I decided to make a joke of my shyness. Watching Nat Tran from communitychannel helped me a lot: she has this tremendous ability to be self effacing while still being funny. Now, I constantly make fun of my lack of social skills; when I've been quiet for a long time, I love to catch everyone off guard with a sudden one liner. When you accept that you are awkward just like everyone else (oh yes, everyone around you IS insecure and IS feeling awkward, no matter how they behave) you'll be much more comfortable in your own skin.

I'm exactly the same way as you :/ Ever since I know I've always been shy, shy to the point being afraid of people, not knowing what to say most of the time. I don't talk much, I really don't talk, because I feel I have nothing to say. I am even afraid to go to school and most of the time I stay at home. The principal has noticed my absences and says that If I don't come to school regularly, he will throw me out. Everyone in school hates me for not talking and some thinks I have a strong ego where infact this is not true at all. My principal thinks I have a problem and my mum also thinks the same. My previous relationship did not worked out because most of the time I didn't talked and the guy wasn't understanding what was wrong. He just left and said I was a nice girl.. My shyness is causing a lot of problem. I know people ar inoffensive but still, I don't know why I am so afraid of people. I don't have any friends at all. The few ones I know just come to say 'hi', 'how are you' then they go to hang out with others that are more outgoing. I really don't know what to do to overcome my problem. .

I'm exactly the same way. I hated school because of social anxiety and always worrying if I'd do something wrong and get judged or laughed at. I just quit college partly because i felt awkward and out of place. I was studying graphic design but i didnt like it now im stressed about what i want to study but i dont want to go to school. I dont know what to do

This was also written on my bday

The way you described yourself is just like me. I'm so happy that I'm not alone in this. I over think everything. I always zone out when people talk to me too. I never really noticed I was quiet but then people started telling me. The worst part probably is, is that I never know how to respond to people. I just smile and nod. I guess we're in this together

I'm exactly like the rest of you, it's gotten so bad for me that I can't even talk to my own family because I just can't keep up with them even though I'm way more smarter than most of them. My mind just goes blank... It's like everything that people say is so normal and perfect like it was already sc<x>ripted.. But dispite how hard I try, my conversation skills won't even compare. It just flows out natural for them where you're just like how the **** do they do it? But, I suppose even though social skills don't come natural to us doesn't mean they can't be learned and perfected. I would recommend going out of your comfort zone frequently while staying away from condescending people. If you need an extra boost, anxiety meds could really help from what I've heard. Set goals and accomplish them cause that is something that's always made me personally feel ******* amazing. Andd try looking your best without coming off as a try hard. The compliments will help. Also, the more you keep to yourself, the more fuel it's going to add to the fire. Whatever you do, don't seclude yourself

I know this feeling so well. I thought it would get better after highschool and it hasn't. Now I'm about to graduate college and I can't even see what's next in my career/future through all of the classic frustration of being looked at like a complete weirdo. It only gets worse when I try to put myself in social situations and my flaws are brought to light. I clam up, go home and think of everything I want to say to all the people who laugh at me for some of the things I've said. Not mean things... Just strong words that will impact others positively and not negatively as they impact me. I need to stand up for myself and my issues, just not quite there yet.

Don't be so sensitive. I'm not saying u shud stop being you, i just mean like what u said about being afraid that strangers will hurt u. They don't know you well enough to be able to hurt u and vice versa. Most ppl truly aren't out to get u. They don't even no u!!!!! Did u have a bad experience perhaps in the past? If so u need to confront it, otherwise its going to be eating away at u for the rest of ur life. And by confront it i dont mean get closure with those that hurt u, cuz somtimes thats not possible. But acknowledge the things and peope that hurt u and choose to let it go and move on. Forgiveness doesn't mean that ur agreeing with those that hurt u it just means that ur choosing to get on with ur life. Trust me they'll get wat they deserve in due course. U must give urself respect, space and time. No more running and hiding. Perhaps maybe if u told ur family why u feel socially awkward they might try and help. If u don't speak up u wont be heard and assumptions will me made. PS u must respect urself b4 other ppl can. Don't confuse ur 'WHO' with ur 'DO' keep goin forward xx

Same for me. :/

Is it wrong to be introverted? Nah, and that's what I feel from you. Yet, everyone is giving advise. Advise is when this introvertedness gets to our head. Then, all we can do is chill. That and be silly as hell.

Babe, this could be your superpower, with a little tweaking. Being hot and dorky has been a million dollar career and stardom for Zooey Deschanel.

im the same way =/

I had a lot, and still do have a lot of the same problems. I always felt awkward or secluded around groups of people, or anyone really, and it was something I always struggled with. I didn't become shy from a dramatic experience ..I just never had a way with words.. I could never put my thoughts in words.. or express how I was feeling, or come up with ideas in conversation.. and if I did I always worried if it was relavant.. or.. a socially acceptable thing to say. And it really stressed me out.. and took a toll on my confidence in socialization. So I didn't socialize ..and the less I was around people the more I became introverted.. and less confident. Throbbing found out the reason that I had so much trouble expressing myself was because I was dyslexic. My brain just doesn't function the same as others. It doesbt cone naturally to me. So I had some couching and they taught me, given my disability how to be able to socialize better and it helped me a lot. I am much more confident now. Though I still struggle. I know what's wrong and I have strategies to cope with it. sqsocialize, I secluded myself and the less

i can relate. i am socially inept too. it's been very hard to get through life with people in it. i mostly kept to myself. i don't know how to communicate with people. <br />
i came from a large family, but only me and my brother were the last one.

Wow, my heart goes out to you. To be honest, almost everything you wrote applies to me as well and it's gotten worse throughout the past couple of years. Usually I only reply to stories like these to shoot an encouraging word or to try to reach out to someone with hope...but in this case I'm in the same boat and don't know how to fix the issue. It's impaired my life monumentally and because I actually love people and being around friends and having fun, I'm tired of it. I'm not giving up though, I know I have too much potential to just throw in the towel. I will do anything to find help and get better...If I can provide support to anyone else along the way, all the better. If you ever need to talk about your problem to someone with an empathetic ear, don't hesitate to say hi.

I find that wearing a push-up bra livens any conversational session.