I'm Very Socially Awkward

Okay, So I suppose I am : shy, weird, socially inept, awkward, etc. I have social anxiety and always blank out when people talk to me.
And, I always think of the worst situation that could happen at any given moment anywhere in public where there's people around.

I hate being around people I don't know. I don't know if they'll judge me, just hurt me emotionally, or leave me mentally confused.

I dig deep into detail about people's emotions, thoughts, feelings, communication.... I just don't know about the what if's...

It's killing me socially! I cannot impress potential employers because of this and cannot make a single friend in person.

It's like the only way for me to have ANY social interaction is to use the internet - where I am not bombarded by faces and minds who wait to see what I will say or do next. I have my own time here to type down my thoughts and feelings without being interrupted or being waited on impatiently.

I hate the feeling of being judged in any way that would give any negativity and I cannot deal or handle situations where I am "put on the spot".

Thus, my friend and Mom think that I'm just being dumb by not doing the right thing. They don't understand, because they're not like me.

Anything I do is blamed on me for not doing the correct way of doing things by being socially comfortable or accepting those surrounding me.

I was fine for months not realizing I haven't even gone out to do anything, but my friend reminded me that people think there's something wrong with me and they ask him about it. Also, it's happened to my mom whenever she goes to places with me, people will ask her if something's the matter with me or whatnot. This has been happening ever since I could remember. I am very shy... cannot express myself when I'm around people whom I don't know..

I am very tired of this all and feel like the only way for me to have a social "living" is to be online forever. I'm so introverted, shy, and socially awkward.
lostgirl88 lostgirl88
18-21, F
178 Responses Jun 2, 2010

I thought I was the only one ,I can't seem to make friends or keep them, I always get nervous and anxious when someone talks to me and then I seem talk too fast or just say something weird that I didn't mean to say. At work it seems like I'm invisible for the most part accept when someone needs something ,out of work I just feel so alone even when I'm around people. I don't know why! I love life, I love people, I'm positive ,I'm not bad looking I just can't connect with people.When I was a child I was sexually abused by my babysitter ,I forgave her and tried to move on but I can't get it out of my head I feel like I'm tainted or just not wothy of lasting friendships or relationships. I laso have 6 half-brothers and 2 sisters but I only talk too one of my sisters they all talk to each other but not too me, I'm the youngest and never felt like I was wanted. I could never really get close to my cousins and other family members. Sometimes I think it's cause I'm mixed black/latino and the rest of my family are full black or full mexican I just feel like I don't fit in anywhere. Sometimes I feel like just giving up and just accept that I'm different and will be alone.

Let me ask you, do YOU think there is something 'wrong" with you?

I hate being put on the spot too, it's unfortunate my girlfriend and family believe I am possibly smarter than all of them ..but when I get nervous I turn into a " blonde" . and because we live in a society where first impressions are potentially the most important I come off as an idiot. then I get upset because I came off as an idiot and the other person didn't accept me ..lol . I'm working on it but I know what you mean . It's like being a grape that shrivels up in the spotlight to become a raisin .

I can really relate to a lot of what you said. I have similar issues, yet I get lonely, and I wish for interactions with people. I feel like I'm always being judged, I hate feeling like the center of attention, yet there's a part of me that craves it. I can't talk to people on the phone, and just can't think of things to say. I get nervous when I have to interact with people I don't know. It really sucks, because it's making for a really lonely life. I used to get really involved with people and things on the television, but for the most part, I don't find much on TV that captures my imagination anymore.


The answer can be found in what you wrote here. You are still social, it's just online. And what that does is, that it reveals that your confidence is the issue. Of course, you won't be socially outgoing just overnight, it takes practice. Small by small, try to say hi or good morning to people you know at first, and then to people you don't know. After that ask people how they are doing, and spend time talking with one person you know alot. Afterwards, try to approach people and ask them for small help, even though you don't need any. Like, for example: Do you know what we have for homework? Practice talking in front of a mirror. Judging on how you write, it seems to me that you are quite thr social type. You just need confidence and practice. God will help you =D

I used to be the same way, still am to a lesser degree for a different reason, since my TBI. I used to be incredibly shy, and, as you describe, felt socially inept. Now, I have a speech handicap, so don't often talk to people not familiar with my speech patterns. Fortunately, by the time I regained my understanding and knowledge, the internet had become common, and I am able to freely express myself in forums like this. I speak from that history and tell you all that you have to do is be who you are. The world is not as threatening as some of us perceive it to be. Do not worry about any social skills you believe you have or lack. People are more apt to see someone negatively when they never interact that they may when we refuse. My idea is to ask myself who would I avoid, a person who never talks appearing stuck-up, or a person who communicates. Most would tend to gravitate towards one who is communicative at all and avoid one who never does. The internet is an excellent place to work on social skills. I chat one-on-one regularly to gain communication skills

I have to say you are not alone ... you are the same as me I have bipolar .I'm 23 years old but I don't know or what made me like this .at the age of 18-20 I was out clubbing every weekend going out mates I went kickboxing and other clubs and I get hit on by girls and il chat up girls I was so go going then like a slag in the face I find it so hard to go out its like a wave of fear people just going judge me and hurt me I think there only stab me and laugh at me behind my back I have lost alot of friends as i dont go out much anymore I truly hope this don't last for to long for being so out going out partying going to clubs I could happly chat with anyone I could buy any one drink take any one out on a date had no problems going out myself joining a new club or just jumping in my car driving anywhere for the day out and now like a slap in the face its like a wave of fear hope it changes back like it was before

How are you doing now? your story seems very similiar to mine. What blows my mind is when I was younger I use to be a player and find it hard to talk to girls these days after my ex.

I know how it feels to fear people's opinions of you. Fortunately, I can assure you that it takes a lot of energy both to feed that fear as well as to hang on to it, and once you realize (A.) that you can never, ever, ever control what people think, and (B.) you actually let go of that fear, you'll feel a lot better. Secondly, I think it's very much OK to be "socially awkward." We all have different settings as individuals. We all have different settings as individuals, and you don't have to adjust to suit what you think is an ideal way to be.

I think that you aren't comfortable with yourself, which makes it harder to be comfortable around other people. I know it's hard, trust me, I've been there. Fortunately I'm getting so much better this year. You have to find people that you can relate to. Try sitting with a different group of friends and talk about something random. If they ignore you, find someone else. Keep looking. It all gets better.

I think that you aren't comfortable with yourself, which makes it harder to be comfortable around other people. I know it's hard, trust me, I've been there. Fortunately I'm getting so much better this year. You have to find people that you can relate to. Try sitting with a different group of friends and talk about something random. If they ignore you, find someone else. Keep looking. It all gets better.

I write as your friend. You are, no doubt, an amazing person. I hear your concerns and I am aware of your pain. You are on an incredible journey--and like any journey it goes one day at a time. I am interested in what you do enjoy, your dreams, the books you read and the movies you like. I'll look forward to hearing from you.

This is the same way I am. This describe me at all.

There is a level of trust, like this internet forum where people post their replays with good intentions. The users on this forum are real people and there are a lot more in real life. And when those people ask if you are ok to your mother and best friend, its sincere. <br />
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But you are smart and highly conscious of how you are acting. Social strength is something you have to grow at, not by hanging in there but by living and forcing yourself to do it. It's like any skill; time and effort have to be put in to gain understanding.

I myself only have about two friends, and one is my wife Jessica. I definitely get where you're coming from. I can not function in a social setting without escaping to a corner or going outside in the first 10 minutes. I assure you. You are not alone in this.

I fell the same sometimes I like it more talking to people over the Internet then in person it's just easy are and don't like meeting new people face to face

hey you wrote my story

hey you wrote my story

hello, my name is Destiny, and trust me, being socially awkward is nothing wrong. we are all kinds of socially awkward, as in i myself have screamed in a poor boys face for trying to console me. i've also been interperted as a creep because of the faces i make when i do certain things. i'm loud and obnoxious, and quiet and shy, we are everything at almost every moment. so, please don't feel guilty for being awkward. and if you ever think someone is thinking bad of you, stand tall, and ignore that voice in your head telling you they automatically hate you; because they don't and they won't. take the word of a wisewoman and "Stand without your crutches"

I thought I was the only person who was nervouse and anxious around people... Reading these comments has opened my mind to a wider spectrum about social awkwardness. It's comforting to know people with the same problems want to help each over an overcome this chapter of our life's.. It affects me at work.. Friends .. Relationship .. Argh even with my family! It's contagious and those around me start feeling uncomfortable.. I'm sure there a way out..

I can definitely see where you're coming from, it's the exact same way for me, down to imagining the worst situation possible when around people, thought I was the only one.

I know u have tons of comments but hahha, i totally understand how u feel because i feel the same. I avoid going to parties or any social event. I feel uncomfortable around strangers. i's making my life like hell!

Sounds like a classic case of social anxiety. I have it,too... And many other people have it, too.

Hi! I came accross your story, 2 years old now! How are you feeling now? :-) Hug!

I find that wearing a push-up bra livens any conversational session.

Wow, my heart goes out to you. To be honest, almost everything you wrote applies to me as well and it's gotten worse throughout the past couple of years. Usually I only reply to stories like these to shoot an encouraging word or to try to reach out to someone with hope...but in this case I'm in the same boat and don't know how to fix the issue. It's impaired my life monumentally and because I actually love people and being around friends and having fun, I'm tired of it. I'm not giving up though, I know I have too much potential to just throw in the towel. I will do anything to find help and get better...If I can provide support to anyone else along the way, all the better. If you ever need to talk about your problem to someone with an empathetic ear, don't hesitate to say hi.

i can relate. i am socially inept too. it's been very hard to get through life with people in it. i mostly kept to myself. i don't know how to communicate with people. <br />
i came from a large family, but only me and my brother were the last one.

I had a lot, and still do have a lot of the same problems. I always felt awkward or secluded around groups of people, or anyone really, and it was something I always struggled with. I didn't become shy from a dramatic experience ..I just never had a way with words.. I could never put my thoughts in words.. or express how I was feeling, or come up with ideas in conversation.. and if I did I always worried if it was relavant.. or.. a socially acceptable thing to say. And it really stressed me out.. and took a toll on my confidence in socialization. So I didn't socialize ..and the less I was around people the more I became introverted.. and less confident. Throbbing found out the reason that I had so much trouble expressing myself was because I was dyslexic. My brain just doesn't function the same as others. It doesbt cone naturally to me. So I had some couching and they taught me, given my disability how to be able to socialize better and it helped me a lot. I am much more confident now. Though I still struggle. I know what's wrong and I have strategies to cope with it. sqsocialize, I secluded myself and the less

im the same way =/

Is it wrong to be introverted? Nah, and that's what I feel from you. Yet, everyone is giving advise. Advise is when this introvertedness gets to our head. Then, all we can do is chill. That and be silly as hell.

Same for me. :/

Don't be so sensitive. I'm not saying u shud stop being you, i just mean like what u said about being afraid that strangers will hurt u. They don't know you well enough to be able to hurt u and vice versa. Most ppl truly aren't out to get u. They don't even no u!!!!! Did u have a bad experience perhaps in the past? If so u need to confront it, otherwise its going to be eating away at u for the rest of ur life. And by confront it i dont mean get closure with those that hurt u, cuz somtimes thats not possible. But acknowledge the things and peope that hurt u and choose to let it go and move on. Forgiveness doesn't mean that ur agreeing with those that hurt u it just means that ur choosing to get on with ur life. Trust me they'll get wat they deserve in due course. U must give urself respect, space and time. No more running and hiding. Perhaps maybe if u told ur family why u feel socially awkward they might try and help. If u don't speak up u wont be heard and assumptions will me made. PS u must respect urself b4 other ppl can. Don't confuse ur 'WHO' with ur 'DO' keep goin forward xx

I know this feeling so well. I thought it would get better after highschool and it hasn't. Now I'm about to graduate college and I can't even see what's next in my career/future through all of the classic frustration of being looked at like a complete weirdo. It only gets worse when I try to put myself in social situations and my flaws are brought to light. I clam up, go home and think of everything I want to say to all the people who laugh at me for some of the things I've said. Not mean things... Just strong words that will impact others positively and not negatively as they impact me. I need to stand up for myself and my issues, just not quite there yet.

I'm exactly like the rest of you, it's gotten so bad for me that I can't even talk to my own family because I just can't keep up with them even though I'm way more smarter than most of them. My mind just goes blank... It's like everything that people say is so normal and perfect like it was already sc<x>ripted.. But dispite how hard I try, my conversation skills won't even compare. It just flows out natural for them where you're just like how the **** do they do it? But, I suppose even though social skills don't come natural to us doesn't mean they can't be learned and perfected. I would recommend going out of your comfort zone frequently while staying away from condescending people. If you need an extra boost, anxiety meds could really help from what I've heard. Set goals and accomplish them cause that is something that's always made me personally feel ******* amazing. Andd try looking your best without coming off as a try hard. The compliments will help. Also, the more you keep to yourself, the more fuel it's going to add to the fire. Whatever you do, don't seclude yourself

The way you described yourself is just like me. I'm so happy that I'm not alone in this. I over think everything. I always zone out when people talk to me too. I never really noticed I was quiet but then people started telling me. The worst part probably is, is that I never know how to respond to people. I just smile and nod. I guess we're in this together

This was also written on my bday

I'm exactly the same way. I hated school because of social anxiety and always worrying if I'd do something wrong and get judged or laughed at. I just quit college partly because i felt awkward and out of place. I was studying graphic design but i didnt like it now im stressed about what i want to study but i dont want to go to school. I dont know what to do

I'm exactly the same way as you :/ Ever since I know I've always been shy, shy to the point being afraid of people, not knowing what to say most of the time. I don't talk much, I really don't talk, because I feel I have nothing to say. I am even afraid to go to school and most of the time I stay at home. The principal has noticed my absences and says that If I don't come to school regularly, he will throw me out. Everyone in school hates me for not talking and some thinks I have a strong ego where infact this is not true at all. My principal thinks I have a problem and my mum also thinks the same. My previous relationship did not worked out because most of the time I didn't talked and the guy wasn't understanding what was wrong. He just left and said I was a nice girl.. My shyness is causing a lot of problem. I know people ar inoffensive but still, I don't know why I am so afraid of people. I don't have any friends at all. The few ones I know just come to say 'hi', 'how are you' then they go to hang out with others that are more outgoing. I really don't know what to do to overcome my problem. .

Been there as well, ladies and gentlemen. My shyness reached it's peak when I was fourteen or fifteen, and I could hardly bring myself to speak to anyone. Some of the time I just wanted to melt into the floor, or to become invisible. The fact is that these aren't easy feelings to overcome, and it's not simply a matter of "being less sensitive" or just "getting over it." I did, however, realize that I was taking myself much too seriously. I decided to make a joke of my shyness. Watching Nat Tran from communitychannel helped me a lot: she has this tremendous ability to be self effacing while still being funny. Now, I constantly make fun of my lack of social skills; when I've been quiet for a long time, I love to catch everyone off guard with a sudden one liner. When you accept that you are awkward just like everyone else (oh yes, everyone around you IS insecure and IS feeling awkward, no matter how they behave) you'll be much more comfortable in your own skin.

OH MY GOD I love Nat Tran! I'm terribly socially awkward myself but watching her channel makes me feel so much better! She's proof that you can be awkward yet funny. ;)

i'm socially awkward too but not because i shy, simply because i felt like i'm not fit into the normal community. i've complicated personality and only certain people can understand me, which, by the way i'm comfortable with them.

I'm like this too. I can't bring myself to talk to anyone that I don't know, but I can talk to my friend just fine. I want to have friends and talk to people normally but I just don't know how. I don't know what to do.

Lostgirl88, well written. I too have a lot of the same feelings?

I feel just like you, but I learned how to live with it... But it's killing me already. I just act I am like them, like "normal". But yeah, I just act, and I have to force this in order to work. Here's a tip for your issue about getting your mind in blank when speaking. Play some online multiplayer action videogames, so you can speak with unknown people around the world, so you don't care what they think about you, also, you can practise speaking with the microphone to other players as you'll have a bit of reaction time. That helped me A LOT! It also helps to respond to insults tactically and harmfully to them, making you feel superior and earning self esteem! I know that might sound like being a douche, but they won't care! They don't know who you are! Anyway, for getting your brain to work correctly in order to speak to people, you should sleep a lot, and wake up by yourself, and not by a clock. That'll make your brain work really good, and this will make your work, effort, reaction time, mood, speak, better!

I hope you get a LOT of friends, and... Getting started on some social networks helps too.


I feel that way too..(I'm so scared when every1 looking at me.i don't know why but I feel like the'y laughing inside and mumbling things just like they talking about my appearance ,:-(

I hate when people looking at me while mumbling,sumtyms I feel like I'm out of this world,that's why I went online to make my feel better or just watch anime all day.lon that way I make my self happy and feel good.

And I don't like man or a guy that I didn't know saying Hai or morning.im thinking always that they are perv.

I don't have confidence to alone

i was like that i am stronger now i use meds for anxiety and ocd but function ok out in the world you can to .just be yourself if ppl like you great if they don,t it,s ok a lot of ppl don,t like me on here i don,t care GOD made us all the same no one is better than you or me lol vinny

I feel like this aswell. I hate it when people say "just be yourself" its not that easy. Im lost confused i want friends i have been trying to talk to people lately i always feel like they think the worse of me. Its killing me to try to talk to people im so akward and like you dont know what to say. Im also one of those people that always go online for social interaction. Im at the point where i just want to quit trying to people. I have a very enthusiastic friend that helps me a bit. But im still lost help me aswell!

It would be funny if all us akwards got in a big group lol! It would be awkward but I would crack up so hard!

I've often though the same thing!

People may not understand, but that's okay they don't have to. You must at least understand yourself and accept you in the moment. It's okay that you don't fit into the mold, there are plenty of people that don't and they have made it through life. I am guessing that you are young and if so.. just remember it takes time for people to find who they are and be comfortable with that. Be understanding towards yourself and figure out the things you like to do and enjoy life as much as you can. It will be a struggle, but nothing in life that is wanted the most is easy.

I agree completely. I've struggled with fairly crippling social anxiety most of my life and know that feeling of being put on the spot very well.

I'm finally beginning to embrace the fact that I am a quiet guy who just happens to prefer communicating in written words. As I learn to accept who I am more, it matters to me less and less what anyone else might think. And as I worry less whether others are constantly judging me, they actually do seem to judge me less. I'm still fairly quiet. I still prefer the written word. And this is definitely a processes that does take time and patience. But it is possible.

I feel like you just described my entire life!! You're not alone!!!!

Me too.

Wow I now know what Roberta Flack means in "Killing Me Softly With His Song". You just described my entire life in a few paragraphs.

This is totally me, once I start living on my own(I'm 17) I'm gonna go skydiving, snow boarding.etc, with a couple close friends.. I don't feel like people are judging me when I'm having fun so I'm just going to try and have a fun filled life. I think u should have fun it takes away the negative thoughts or just doing something overwhelming(in a good way) will take Ur mind of of the bad things.

Im like this too....and it is really frustrating... I am in my 20's and i want to find a job but everytime i want to actually step out there... The fear and what if always comes out and its hindering me... I feel so useless... And so limited. Its like i just want to dive in life but i cant beacause im too scared...of what other think, of embarrassing myself... I can only fully express myself in writing or the internet but in social interactions... My mouth is shut...

The struggles of being so awkward is that's I say very weird things to get my nervousness out so I dont get an anxiety attack this of course keep me from having much friends being a weirdo and also I'm even like this with my girlfriend shes always wondering why I cant be so attached I am fifthteen years of age

This is so me

I wanted to express myself and how I feel for so long and couldn't have done it better than you. I feel the same, feel like I'm just "weird" or something. And my parents always preach but they don't know how I feel. You're not weird or strange or anything just know there's many many people who feel the same way. Good luck :)

I havent always been socially awkward. It all started with my ex. After years of recovering from a broken heart, I can honestly say that Im scared of girls. Most of you guys can laugh at me but honestly there were times when I was thinking that hell might be more confortable. Iv been struggling to get back to how I use to be were everybody loves me and it seems to be a mission these days. I would say that most of us are uncomfortable around strangers it seems and it makes sense due to the fact that you know nothing about the person.

You're a lot like me. I'm 21(today is my birthday hehe) and I'm very socially awkward. I've always been this way. I think it's because I've never really liked the energy people give off(I'm intuitive). Plus I've been abused and bullied way too many times in the past. Trust me, most people are mean but they will pretend to be nice. It's all fake though. I've learned to be a loner....I learned that I'm an introverted empath and there is nothing wrong with that. Our brains and nervous systems are literally wired differently..;)