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I'm Very Socially Awkward

Okay, So I suppose I am : shy, weird, socially inept, awkward, etc. I have social anxiety and always blank out when people talk to me.
And, I always think of the worst situation that could happen at any given moment anywhere in public where there's people around.

I hate being around people I don't know. I don't know if they'll judge me, just hurt me emotionally, or leave me mentally confused.

I dig deep into detail about people's emotions, thoughts, feelings, communication.... I just don't know about the what if's...

It's killing me socially! I cannot impress potential employers because of this and cannot make a single friend in person.

It's like the only way for me to have ANY social interaction is to use the internet - where I am not bombarded by faces and minds who wait to see what I will say or do next. I have my own time here to type down my thoughts and feelings without being interrupted or being waited on impatiently.

I hate the feeling of being judged in any way that would give any negativity and I cannot deal or handle situations where I am "put on the spot".

Thus, my friend and Mom think that I'm just being dumb by not doing the right thing. They don't understand, because they're not like me.

Anything I do is blamed on me for not doing the correct way of doing things by being socially comfortable or accepting those surrounding me.

I was fine for months not realizing I haven't even gone out to do anything, but my friend reminded me that people think there's something wrong with me and they ask him about it. Also, it's happened to my mom whenever she goes to places with me, people will ask her if something's the matter with me or whatnot. This has been happening ever since I could remember. I am very shy... cannot express myself when I'm around people whom I don't know..

I am very tired of this all and feel like the only way for me to have a social "living" is to be online forever. I'm so introverted, shy, and socially awkward.
lostgirl88 lostgirl88 18-21, F 180 Responses Jun 2, 2010

Your Response


i am suffering from the same problem

This is my advice, and i have came a long way when i was young i was like this. Stop caring what people think and do what makes you happy even if others dont agree who cares its your life, take control of it and do you and everything else will fall into place.

I used to be like that when I was younger. But then I realized I have to start living life for myself and no one else. I don't care if people judge me because they're not the ones living my life. I've found myself in my music, and it helps me not be shy. No matter what you do, there are always going to be ones who judge you. You just have to learn to not care what they think.

I thought I was the only one ,I can't seem to make friends or keep them, I always get nervous and anxious when someone talks to me and then I seem talk too fast or just say something weird that I didn't mean to say. At work it seems like I'm invisible for the most part accept when someone needs something ,out of work I just feel so alone even when I'm around people. I don't know why! I love life, I love people, I'm positive ,I'm not bad looking I just can't connect with people.When I was a child I was sexually abused by my babysitter ,I forgave her and tried to move on but I can't get it out of my head I feel like I'm tainted or just not wothy of lasting friendships or relationships. I laso have 6 half-brothers and 2 sisters but I only talk too one of my sisters they all talk to each other but not too me, I'm the youngest and never felt like I was wanted. I could never really get close to my cousins and other family members. Sometimes I think it's cause I'm mixed black/latino and the rest of my family are full black or full mexican I just feel like I don't fit in anywhere. Sometimes I feel like just giving up and just accept that I'm different and will be alone.

Let me ask you, do YOU think there is something 'wrong" with you?

I hate being put on the spot too, it's unfortunate my girlfriend and family believe I am possibly smarter than all of them ..but when I get nervous I turn into a " blonde" . and because we live in a society where first impressions are potentially the most important I come off as an idiot. then I get upset because I came off as an idiot and the other person didn't accept me . I'm working on it but I know what you mean . It's like being a grape that shrivels up in the spotlight to become a raisin .

I can really relate to a lot of what you said. I have similar issues, yet I get lonely, and I wish for interactions with people. I feel like I'm always being judged, I hate feeling like the center of attention, yet there's a part of me that craves it. I can't talk to people on the phone, and just can't think of things to say. I get nervous when I have to interact with people I don't know. It really sucks, because it's making for a really lonely life. I used to get really involved with people and things on the television, but for the most part, I don't find much on TV that captures my imagination anymore.


The answer can be found in what you wrote here. You are still social, it's just online. And what that does is, that it reveals that your confidence is the issue. Of course, you won't be socially outgoing just overnight, it takes practice. Small by small, try to say hi or good morning to people you know at first, and then to people you don't know. After that ask people how they are doing, and spend time talking with one person you know alot. Afterwards, try to approach people and ask them for small help, even though you don't need any. Like, for example: Do you know what we have for homework? Practice talking in front of a mirror. Judging on how you write, it seems to me that you are quite thr social type. You just need confidence and practice. God will help you =D

I used to be the same way, still am to a lesser degree for a different reason, since my TBI. I used to be incredibly shy, and, as you describe, felt socially inept. Now, I have a speech handicap, so don't often talk to people not familiar with my speech patterns. Fortunately, by the time I regained my understanding and knowledge, the internet had become common, and I am able to freely express myself in forums like this. I speak from that history and tell you all that you have to do is be who you are. The world is not as threatening as some of us perceive it to be. Do not worry about any social skills you believe you have or lack. People are more apt to see someone negatively when they never interact that they may when we refuse. My idea is to ask myself who would I avoid, a person who never talks appearing stuck-up, or a person who communicates. Most would tend to gravitate towards one who is communicative at all and avoid one who never does. The internet is an excellent place to work on social skills. I chat one-on-one regularly to gain communication skills

I have to say you are not alone ... you are the same as me I have bipolar .I'm 23 years old but I don't know or what made me like this .at the age of 18-20 I was out clubbing every weekend going out mates I went kickboxing and other clubs and I get hit on by girls and il chat up girls I was so go going then like a slag in the face I find it so hard to go out its like a wave of fear people just going judge me and hurt me I think there only stab me and laugh at me behind my back I have lost alot of friends as i dont go out much anymore I truly hope this don't last for to long for being so out going out partying going to clubs I could happly chat with anyone I could buy any one drink take any one out on a date had no problems going out myself joining a new club or just jumping in my car driving anywhere for the day out and now like a slap in the face its like a wave of fear hope it changes back like it was before

How are you doing now? your story seems very similiar to mine. What blows my mind is when I was younger I use to be a player and find it hard to talk to girls these days after my ex.

I know how it feels to fear people's opinions of you. Fortunately, I can assure you that it takes a lot of energy both to feed that fear as well as to hang on to it, and once you realize (A.) that you can never, ever, ever control what people think, and (B.) you actually let go of that fear, you'll feel a lot better. Secondly, I think it's very much OK to be "socially awkward." We all have different settings as individuals. We all have different settings as individuals, and you don't have to adjust to suit what you think is an ideal way to be.

I think that you aren't comfortable with yourself, which makes it harder to be comfortable around other people. I know it's hard, trust me, I've been there. Fortunately I'm getting so much better this year. You have to find people that you can relate to. Try sitting with a different group of friends and talk about something random. If they ignore you, find someone else. Keep looking. It all gets better.

I think that you aren't comfortable with yourself, which makes it harder to be comfortable around other people. I know it's hard, trust me, I've been there. Fortunately I'm getting so much better this year. You have to find people that you can relate to. Try sitting with a different group of friends and talk about something random. If they ignore you, find someone else. Keep looking. It all gets better.

I write as your friend. You are, no doubt, an amazing person. I hear your concerns and I am aware of your pain. You are on an incredible journey--and like any journey it goes one day at a time. I am interested in what you do enjoy, your dreams, the books you read and the movies you like. I'll look forward to hearing from you.

This is the same way I am. This describe me at all.

There is a level of trust, like this internet forum where people post their replays with good intentions. The users on this forum are real people and there are a lot more in real life. And when those people ask if you are ok to your mother and best friend, its sincere. <br />
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But you are smart and highly conscious of how you are acting. Social strength is something you have to grow at, not by hanging in there but by living and forcing yourself to do it. It's like any skill; time and effort have to be put in to gain understanding.

I myself only have about two friends, and one is my wife Jessica. I definitely get where you're coming from. I can not function in a social setting without escaping to a corner or going outside in the first 10 minutes. I assure you. You are not alone in this.

I fell the same sometimes I like it more talking to people over the Internet then in person it's just easy are and don't like meeting new people face to face

hey you wrote my story

hey you wrote my story

hello, my name is Destiny, and trust me, being socially awkward is nothing wrong. we are all kinds of socially awkward, as in i myself have screamed in a poor boys face for trying to console me. i've also been interperted as a creep because of the faces i make when i do certain things. i'm loud and obnoxious, and quiet and shy, we are everything at almost every moment. so, please don't feel guilty for being awkward. and if you ever think someone is thinking bad of you, stand tall, and ignore that voice in your head telling you they automatically hate you; because they don't and they won't. take the word of a wisewoman and "Stand without your crutches"

I thought I was the only person who was nervouse and anxious around people... Reading these comments has opened my mind to a wider spectrum about social awkwardness. It's comforting to know people with the same problems want to help each over an overcome this chapter of our life's.. It affects me at work.. Friends .. Relationship .. Argh even with my family! It's contagious and those around me start feeling uncomfortable.. I'm sure there a way out..

I can definitely see where you're coming from, it's the exact same way for me, down to imagining the worst situation possible when around people, thought I was the only one.

I know u have tons of comments but hahha, i totally understand how u feel because i feel the same. I avoid going to parties or any social event. I feel uncomfortable around strangers. i's making my life like hell!

Sounds like a classic case of social anxiety. I have it,too... And many other people have it, too.

Hi! I came accross your story, 2 years old now! How are you feeling now? :-) Hug!

I find that wearing a push-up bra livens any conversational session.

Wow, my heart goes out to you. To be honest, almost everything you wrote applies to me as well and it's gotten worse throughout the past couple of years. Usually I only reply to stories like these to shoot an encouraging word or to try to reach out to someone with hope...but in this case I'm in the same boat and don't know how to fix the issue. It's impaired my life monumentally and because I actually love people and being around friends and having fun, I'm tired of it. I'm not giving up though, I know I have too much potential to just throw in the towel. I will do anything to find help and get better...If I can provide support to anyone else along the way, all the better. If you ever need to talk about your problem to someone with an empathetic ear, don't hesitate to say hi.

i can relate. i am socially inept too. it's been very hard to get through life with people in it. i mostly kept to myself. i don't know how to communicate with people. <br />
i came from a large family, but only me and my brother were the last one.