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I'm Very Socially Awkward

Okay, So I suppose I am : shy, weird, socially inept, awkward, etc. I have social anxiety and always blank out when people talk to me.
And, I always think of the worst situation that could happen at any given moment anywhere in public where there's people around.

I hate being around people I don't know. I don't know if they'll judge me, just hurt me emotionally, or leave me mentally confused.

I dig deep into detail about people's emotions, thoughts, feelings, communication.... I just don't know about the what if's...

It's killing me socially! I cannot impress potential employers because of this and cannot make a single friend in person.

It's like the only way for me to have ANY social interaction is to use the internet - where I am not bombarded by faces and minds who wait to see what I will say or do next. I have my own time here to type down my thoughts and feelings without being interrupted or being waited on impatiently.

I hate the feeling of being judged in any way that would give any negativity and I cannot deal or handle situations where I am "put on the spot".

Thus, my friend and Mom think that I'm just being dumb by not doing the right thing. They don't understand, because they're not like me.

Anything I do is blamed on me for not doing the correct way of doing things by being socially comfortable or accepting those surrounding me.

I was fine for months not realizing I haven't even gone out to do anything, but my friend reminded me that people think there's something wrong with me and they ask him about it. Also, it's happened to my mom whenever she goes to places with me, people will ask her if something's the matter with me or whatnot. This has been happening ever since I could remember. I am very shy... cannot express myself when I'm around people whom I don't know..

I am very tired of this all and feel like the only way for me to have a social "living" is to be online forever. I'm so introverted, shy, and socially awkward.
lostgirl88 lostgirl88 18-21, F 175 Responses Jun 2, 2010

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think about it this way: you are already unhappy being alone and unsocial. the worst thing that will happen if you start going out and make an effort to socialize is that you might embarass yourself. but, you are already embarassed by being anti social, so basically it can only get better. just relax and remember no one is paying attention to your every little move and word even if it seems like it. just be yourself and try not to analyze everything.

Well all I have to say is I would try to figure out whats most important to me and make it a goal to do it stay focused on that and dont worry about the people after all they are only people. Anyone who say or do anything bad to you is either a ***** or had it happen to them.So dont blame yourself love yourself stay positive and it will come to you. People that are worth the time arnt going to judge you and for the people that do aint worth a damn anyways.

You are not on your own. I feel the same way. I have never been good with socially interacting with people face to face. Using the internet is so much easier. I am scared to get a job because I have so much trouble with people. But I don't want this to be my life. I want things to change. I hope we can be friends so maybe we can help each other. Hope to hear from you soon :)

You have lots to read and plenty of great advice. Having been a socially awkward person myself, I can share with you these simples facts to consider: Every person around you feels the same way you do on some level or another. Self introuctions always keep people from assuming about you. The best way to make friends is to take interest in them by asking questions that are not too personal, nor boring. (Boring: "Do anyone else here like Checkers? Personal: "Is that a gurdle under your shirt?" Happy Medium:: "Where did you get those shoes?? They're adorable!") ---------BEST OF LUCK!!!! I always turn to stone when put on the spot. It's called being human. Find the humor in it all and stop over-thinking about people. The social life is a game always played on the surface of the emotions, not in people's inner most soul!!

Same here! I have friends, and I don't know why. Actually, I'm also married. My husband's the "quiet type" - I like how they call us The Quiet Type. Thank you, that sounds better than Schizo, or whatever. Friends used to invite me places (they still do; different set of friends) and I'd just sit there and smile and not say a word. One of my friends said after one party in particular, "Are you all right?" Yes, I'm fine. I've lost contact with her, which is good. She's almost a total extrovert. Maybe she thought she could help me. It doesn't work! But I am getting better at socializing. A little better, anyway. I don't like to go to last minute parties or lunches or dinners or whatever if there are going to be a lot of people there I don't know. In fact, a family friend of mine asked me to have lunch today with a couple of her friends that I don't know and I declined. Last minute - can't do it. If I know ahead of time, I'll think up some things to say or questions to ask. I prepare myself. Thank god my husband's an introvert, too. I don't think I'd be married to him if he wasn't. When he says odd things to people, tho - he doesn't beat himself up afterwards. I do. One thing we used to do for fun when we were in the process of getting to know each other was to write down topics on pieces of paper and throw them in a bowl or bread basket or something, then we'd each pick one out. No holds barred. Turns out we both laugh A LOT. My recommendation to you is to not be so hard on yourself, it'll make you more nervous and anxious. No one's perfect. People who are social butterflies have bad moments, too. I'm a good listener, so I've heard it all - wrong names, embarassing stories, unintentional comments ... the works. Don't beat yourself up over it. If you'd rather socialize over the internet - so be it! It's definitely your life. That's what I'm doing right now. My husband's working, so I'm touching bases with some ppl I know through EP or facebook. If people say they're "concerned about you" say, "Don't be. I'm happy right where I am."

Thanks for sharing your story & commenting, Ashlynn. I just have 0 to low self-confidence. It's really hard to be myself outside. It's like I'm afraid of everything - accidents, falling, people. I try to be brave. Yeah, what I hate the most is beating myself about a stupid thought - like a little thing I remember that was said. I usually question myself, like did I make the right decision, did I say the right things? I hate being wrong or making a fool out of myself. I always think others are way better off than me, but at the same time, I feel like I should be cared for more because of how sensitive I am. Oh well! I guess I'll take each day step by step... I try to practise that "no one really cares" about the small stuff that I notice. I have to distract myself from playing the "replay" button in my head that brings out negative thoughts all the time. I guess I'll be okay - and you will be/are, too!

(I wish I can just do what people normally do everyday... those are superpowers to me!)

I can relate to your story i too do not like going out in public i would rather stay in the house away from the outside world.i recently married and i told my husband and he says its normal but its not to me I get around his family and get totally quiet his family is having a picnic in 1 week and i'm trying to get out of going its going to be over 200 people there ..I'm so stressed just thinking about it.

what we all need is acceptance and encouragment maybe someone who needs us to be there to encourage them too just a good word makes abig difference in how we feel for a while being rejected hurts the selfesteem a friend will always compliment and encourage

Iy understand how you feel and well I know it hard I scared that if I try to be friend with someone I'm scared they might use me or laugh at me behide my back I only feel safe on line so I just saying that ur not alone and there are groups to help with social problem like the other commets say there are groups online on the internet but it better if you do it face to face with other peoplethat way you make more friends and get rid of your social problem out of the way it really works and by the way are you by any chance a virgo?

See a shrink. Being this socially awkward isn't normal. You need to find out what the problem is and address it.

I can totally relate to what you are saying, and it was an eye opener to see so many people answer with the same experience! Thanks for sharing your experiences...

i have the exact same problems. you should look into, social phobia, social anxiety, panic attacks, anxiety attacks. you'll find you have a lot in common with the first 2, and if it gets worse you'll find you have somethings in common with the last 2. i have all of them. just be glad you have the friend you mentioned, because my friends are only online.

wishing you the best!

smm

If you meet people more, you will be surprised of how many kind people out there! Yes we all have the fear with meeting new people, but after meeting them a couple of times you start to feel more comfortable and not worried so much about what to say to them.I think this is the start of making friends and gaining confidence. I am a shy person too.

Yeah. Sucks to be socially awkward and being labeled as a freak, it sure does.

look at it this way i am somewhat the same way, people like us are special. almost like we are super human we dig into life such as physiology and sociology. i think the root problem is we are foucusing all our energy on other people thinking what there thinking stuff that doesnt matter, you need to do some soul searching find out what your really pasionate about. for me that was helping people i want to be a police officer, after all the **** id been through i knew i could make a difference in someones life. i feel thats my purpose that god put me on this planet.

Likewise. Thank you for posting this. I'm glad to know I'm not alone.

WOW. I totally felt like I was reading something that you wrote about me. I have "Social Anxiety Disorder" BKA Anthropophobia ((Fear of People)) and am 2 shakes shy of being a complete Agoraphobic ((Fear of leaving the house)). I HATE being in a crowd of people. I hate not knowing who or what is around me at all times. I really don't like dealing with people on a personal level much other than in a internet setting. I am the person found in the coffee shoppe/resteraunt in the corner booth with my back against the wall. I had to go to college online and then start my own business because I cannot keep a job. I wish you all the best in trying to decide where you want to hide, because eventually that will happen....you will seek out a place where you can hide from the rest of the world and just be left alone in peace. Hugs you from across the way.

I have a friend who's very similar; she only talks to me by text msgs and that's it. It's very frustrating for me yet she's my friend..I would say just reach out to someone you think you can trust, and go from there. When you work, chat, be friendly and you will make friends. For in this world it isn't good to be that reserved; for sure be careful who you trust but I still and always have believed that most people are good at heart and if only you try you can trust them.

I can relate perfectly to this. ): Please message me id like to talk to you.

I understand this all to well too. I know that the what ifs won't get you anywhere you would like because your what ifs are negative self-talk bs.... it is hard changing that way of thinking when your afraid and shy of people. but keep fighting for what makes you special. people will see you are not the person you think they are judging you for. but something better. you are human you might be awkward as I am but you are worth being here and you do have alot to give employers. they are fickle people anyways (interviewers I mean). Don't worry you'll get the job even if it takes alot of hard work. you'll find its one that suits you. I pray for your happiness and hey, you weren't too shy here were you? oh yeah and.... I think we all feel less inhibited on the internet. Don't feel so intimidated when you get nervous. just be you k?. I am sure ppl care bout you lots.

i am just like that only when i have to interact with people i don't know i start to panic and have anxiety attacks and hyperventalate until i pass out. everyone in my family knows this and for the most parts understands my diagnosis, but my mom has a hard time understanding and it hurts me.

Gee, I thought I was the only one who had those weird feelings. I really did try to be social but it seems i didnt know how to respond to certain conversations. but i'm ok now. I've learn slowly how to interact with people more effectively

I can relate to this only partially. I have been able to interact with people soially i.e. at work or social events. However, I have always struggled to push myself forward - I am shy. I often still feel awkward;I use my laughter and comedy as a shield to sort of deviate people's attention from the sometimes awkward, or shy way I respond. Luckily, I have been successful in doing so. I can thank the friends I made in elementary and high school for this achievement. I have found my nieche of people I can be myself with and not feel uncomfortable. This has allowed me to gain so much confidence in myself; allowed me to remind myself that only the opinions of those close to me should count! I can only congratulate you on your awereness of your own issues and hope that you find your own nieche; allowing you to increase your confidence! I wish all the best in that endeavour!

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Me too! But my problem is,I dont trust anyone anymore! Im to the point I like animals better than humans!

Me too! But my problem is,I dont trust anyone anymore! Im to the point I like animals better than humans!

I enjoyed reading your story. Everything you said fits me perfectly. I thought I was the only one who was like that. I would look around me and it seemed so easy for everyone. I am so akward and shy around people. It also doesn't help that I have this tiny little voice that no one can hear. For me I can hear myself perfectly, but for everyone else it is as if I am whispering. I try so hard to speak up and everytime it doesn't work. Whenever I am around people I begin to panic. I try to talk to them and it works for the first thirty seconds, but then it gets so akward. I thought that there was something wrong with me. I thought that I was the only one that was going through this. I am so glad that I am not the only one, and that there are other people who are going through this too. I have to say I knew that I was introverted, shy, akward, and weird, but what I didn't notice was how I was living my life.



After reading your story and the comments on the story I realized that I have not really been working on improving myself. When it comes to hanging out with people, friends or people I barely I don't know well, I always make up excuses to them and myself. I will do whatever it is I have to to convince myself that the situation is bad and I should not go. I would rather stay at home than go out because 1) I don't want to get hurt 2) I am not comfortable going out of my comfort zone, and 3) I am afraid of what might happen. I have to say another thing I realized about myself by reading your story is that I too think about the worst possible thing that could happen and that is usually enough to convince myself to stay at home.



I was thinking about this today and I came up with the conclusion that it is easier to talk to people on the internet. When it comes to dealing with people face- to- face you have to use many different social cues. I for one am not good when it comes to communicating with others. On the internet it is easier to talk to people because you do not have to see them. You do not have to be around them. You talk to them, but you don't know how they are reacting and there is not as much pressure.



I am sorry for writing so much. I just wanted to say that reading your story has helped me realize a lot about myself. I want to wish you the best. There seems to be a way to get better and I hope that you find it. Good Luck. Thank you for posting this story.

this made me tear up....

im the same exactly...

i pretend to be all happy when im not...

its hard to live like this...

i wish i werent like this...

but im also fat so i get scared of ppl making fun of me...

I was the same way after I had my first daughter,special because I gained weight and I was self consice.but I started to go to the gym I lost a few pounds I got a job as hostes(so I had to learn to talk to people). And I got used to it.I was scared to talk to people, I. Used to get negative toughts,I used to think that people tought negative stuff about me(crazy)right.also getting to know more people going out clubbing,or hanging out with positive friends helps. A least that helped me,I hope it help you!

The only difference between you and the rest of the world, is that you care what other people think. Let it go. Let your freak flag fly! Be who you are and make no excuses. Some of the most "popular" people are weird. They just think they are cool. The rest of the world is filled with lemmings. If you act like you don't care, after enough time, you really won't and you'll be surprised with how many people follow your lead.