I'm Very Socially AwkwardOkay, So I suppose I am : shy, weird, socially inept, awkward, etc. I have social anxiety and always blank out when people talk to me.
And, I always think of the worst situation that could happen at any given moment anywhere in public where there's people around.
I hate being around people I don't know. I don't know if they'll judge me, just hurt me emotionally, or leave me mentally confused.
I dig deep into detail about people's emotions, thoughts, feelings, communication.... I just don't know about the what if's...
It's killing me socially! I cannot impress potential employers because of this and cannot make a single friend in person.
It's like the only way for me to have ANY social interaction is to use the internet - where I am not bombarded by faces and minds who wait to see what I will say or do next. I have my own time here to type down my thoughts and feelings without being interrupted or being waited on impatiently.
I hate the feeling of being judged in any way that would give any negativity and I cannot deal or handle situations where I am "put on the spot".
Thus, my friend and Mom think that I'm just being dumb by not doing the right thing. They don't understand, because they're not like me.
Anything I do is blamed on me for not doing the correct way of doing things by being socially comfortable or accepting those surrounding me.
I was fine for months not realizing I haven't even gone out to do anything, but my friend reminded me that people think there's something wrong with me and they ask him about it. Also, it's happened to my mom whenever she goes to places with me, people will ask her if something's the matter with me or whatnot. This has been happening ever since I could remember. I am very shy... cannot express myself when I'm around people whom I don't know..
I am very tired of this all and feel like the only way for me to have a social "living" is to be online forever. I'm so introverted, shy, and socially awkward.
lostgirl88 18-21, F 175 Responses 91 Jun 2, 2010