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People Make Me Nervous

Ever since I can remember I have been nervous around other people. I think a lot of it has to do with my dad's mental and physical abuse as a child. He pretty much destroyed my self esteem. I have absolutely no confidence in myself at all. I don't like meeting people I don't know because I don't know what to say to them. I have lost job opportunities because I get extremely nervous in interviews. I know the right things to say, but when they start asking questions my mind seems to go blank. I hate talking on the phone because I am horrible at trying to find the right way to end the conversation. I am actually this way in person too. I hate this about myself! I hate myself for being like this!
MissBlueAngel MissBlueAngel 26-30, F 5 Responses Apr 16, 2011

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my heart aches for you because i know what you are going through and know what it means to be socially awkward with other people and it does suck but somehow you have to build up your self esteem and this is very hard because i am still trying to figure that out i think alot of it has to do with how we were treated in the past and its something that you just cant let go and it follows you around everywhere you go - you can move into another city with new people but it still remains the same way as it was before you left - all i can say is try to find people that are like you and maybe you can develop and bond with them its hard to bond with those that are different than you in my opinion - i know i have a hard time developing any meaningful relationship with others - its just like trying to find a needle in a haystack but once you have found that one that you can keep and you guys share the same things maybe it might work out for you in the best ways- i still struggle with it and i dont have to many friends just like you but i guess we just have to accept the way we are and say postive things about ourselves because we are worthy of being loved but i think we must love others and its tough to show love for people when you have been mistreated your whole life but i think this all takes time to heal i guess we never know until we try and see how it goes - i am just babbling i probably dont have any idea what i am talking about - but i do hope this helps you

wow my heart goes out to you guys. You may want to listen to tony robbins, he has the best rinciples on how to change anything in your life as rapidly as possible

@naplesseeker - I know exactly what you are talking about as far people thinking you are rude because you don't know what to say. I feel like I give off the rude stuck up vibe sometimes and I truly don't mean too. I am just extremely shy. <br />
@Foofmonger - Me and you have a lot in common I believe. We are both products of our fathers abusiveness. My dad also would keep me confined to my room and ground me over absolutely nothing. He destroyed my self esteem, no doubt and I resent him for it. <br />
I feel awkward even around close friends as well. I mean most times I am fine hanging out with them, but if we go somewhere where there are people I haven't met I get nervous. I tend to over- think things. I am always worried about what people think of me and then I feel like that the way I am just makes them think I am a weirdo. <br />
I also rely on weed to calm my nerves. Its great. It relaxes me and makes me more social. I can listen to music and be happy and just enjoy the moment. <br />
As far as being normal, I don't think many people are normal. I hate the fact that I suffer from this, but I try not to let it get me down too much. If people don't like me they don't have to talk to me.

@naplesseeker - I know exactly what you are talking about as far people thinking you are rude because you don't know what to say. I feel like I give off the rude stuck up vibe sometimes and I truly don't mean too. I am just extremely shy. <br />
@Foofmonger - Me and you have a lot in common I believe. We are both products of our fathers abusiveness. My dad also would keep me confined to my room and ground me over absolutely nothing. He destroyed my self esteem, no doubt and I resent him for it. <br />
I feel awkward even around close friends as well. I mean most times I am fine hanging out with them, but if we go somewhere where there are people I haven't met I get nervous. I tend to over- think things. I am always worried about what people think of me and then I feel like that the way I am just makes them think I am a weirdo. <br />
I also rely on weed to calm my nerves. Its great. It relaxes me and makes me more social. I can listen to music and be happy and just enjoy the moment. <br />
As far as being normal, I don't think many people are normal. I hate the fact that I suffer from this, but I try not to let it get me down too much. If people don't like me they don't have to talk to me.

I am about 21 years old and I attribute my Dad's mental abusiveness to my social awkwardness... I resent him for it. All throughout my childhood he would confine me to my room without any sort of entertainment or adequate reasoning. I was once grounded for a year and had no idea why. When I asked him about it, my punishment was extended. I feel like even when I am with close friends I need to force myself to act or feel a certain way. I often overthink situations even when it is something simple. My friends go to clubs and social events and I never go. I went to one club to try to 'have fun and meet new people.' I have never felt so awkward in my whole life. How does one just have intimate conversation with someone they have never met? I do have self confidence issues, even though I don't consider myself unattractive. I feel like I am becoming more and more pessimistic as time goes on. Recently I lost yet another job due to social conflict. I just don't like other people and I can not figure out why. I never had this problem in school, but now that I am on my own it is becoming a problem. I don't like to socialize anymore unless I smoke marijuana or something first. It seems like my only release. My love life is less than impressive. I have never been with a girl that was attached to me and I feel like it is my own mind working against me. I wish I could find someone who would give me a chance to freak out and just help me through it. Being this way has driven me from occational lonliness, to almost a constant depression. I sometimes ponder suicide but I see that as a coward's way out; I am too proud for that. I used to feel successful and progressive, but now I feel like a helpless degenerate. I quit smoking weed recently because I need a job that doesn't require slaving over a hot grill for some unappreciative bastard's selfish needs. Weed and cigarettes are my only vice. Weed helps me socially, cigarettes calm my mind. I just want to be normal...