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Even Typing This Evokes Feelings Of Embarrasment

ok ill make another story here on ep .. im a strange cluster of personality disorders or so called (avpd,GAD,dpd,ect/al).. i joined this group because without any doubt im 'socially awkward' in my own eyes .. and in fact the 'awkwardness' well .. it came over time to dominte my life and endanger every possability of making and maintaining relationships with others.

as i titled it .. even as i sit here typing these words at the back of my mind is a lingering doubt of what a 'tool' im going to look like , spilling my emotional guts out online to a whole lot of people who i dont know and who dont know me and ofc .. i find it hard to imagine that anybody would care , for my selfish little story about my selfish way of life, .. being so selfishly pre-occupied with what other people will think of me or even if i will find some belonging anywhere in any group as i make efforts to avoid even being close to the people who are part of my life .

my social awkwardness follows me everywhere .. i used to escape it online .. but even in chats it effects me .. if other people are talking i dont like to interupt , or to feel asif i have interupted .. the flow of conversation in the chatroom.

Nicetoknowyou and peacebeyours,.
igomental.
igomental igomental 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 28, 2012

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Google, how to turn obstacles into opportunities & stumbling blocks into stepping stones<br />
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Search youtube @ how to harness your energy to real benefit<br />
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& @ conversational skills tutorials<br />
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& how to build strong healthy friendships & relationships tutorials<br />
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I'm fairly sure 'tool' = U R Scouse, so see http://www.LiverpoolOneChurch.com - the loudest one I've ever been to, meeting 6pm Sunday @ Hope Uni Creative Campus, diagonally opp Staples - *14 bus from Queens Square stops @ Staples - @ 10 mins walk up Isliongton hill from Lime St Station

ah .. good man, i appreciate the advice :)
also i will look into the info you suggested, thanks!

indeed, let me assure you, my difficulty relateing with others is very much a part of me, i dont complain for being the best i can be. :)

its simply the way i have felt around people my entire life.

all the best !
igomental.

Igo

For many years, I was imprisoned by feeling my stutter &amp; general embarassment &amp; low self esteem was 'just part of me'

We can change

In Sefton Mental Support Group, I made a rap @ it

If ya change da way ya think @ it, ya can change da way ya feel @ it

When ya change da way ya feel @ it ya will change da things ya do

We are creatures of habit

But we can reject unhelpful ways to think

&amp; determine to develop healthy habits of mind, heart &amp; action

"God, Put A Fighter In Me' - Graham Kendrick song

Praying for ya, dude

:) .. I will take a lot of heart in that knowledge, to be sure .. ;)

Heh Indeed 'God' put a fighter in me aswell .. im fighting with myself as we speak ,
hopefully he wont turn out to be some diabolical ancient creature from saturn eh ..

all i have is these moments of this life, even as i keep to my own company im always trying to meet my challenges head on. Thanks for your kind words !igomental.