One Of The Many Socially Awkward QuipsTypically gay men are know to have at least one "*** hag" friend. My idea of this is an obnoxious, slutty girl that is used to introduce gay men to other gay men, to them laugh and to feel overly appreciated. Sounds like a fun person right. Well, to my misfortune I am the antithesis of a *** hag. I am quiet, asexual, have no drama in my life, and have a personality of a clam (all out or all in). When my personality is all out it is crude humored. Ie I am horrible at meeting new people and dealing with acquaintances. How does a socially awkward mf as myself have so many gay friends? Well, firstly thank the gods I even have friends!
To the story:
So they took me to this gay dance gathering and I was excited because I actually enjoy creatively dancing and needed to exercise. At the event, I was extremely uncomfortable especially when comparing myself to my *** hag friend that was doing so well. There I was to the side like the limp arm in basketball. Looking around, I realized I vaguely knew a couple of dudes in there and I decided to avoid them because I wouldn't know what to do if we interacted. Despite my avoidance, one found me and said in a normal (not excited tone) "Hi. How are you?" And with a nervousness I could only compare to having a ***** in front of class I replied "I'm good. How are you?" "Good". THE ****. Thats when I nodded and ran away to the bar to drink more.
Usually when I over analyze **** like this, I find a "what I should have done" answer. But nope. I can't think of how I could of steered this into a better direction other then elaborating why Im feeling good and thus looking like a dumb fish that cant breathe. Usually I just say a short answer and mumble nonsense in their direction (actual jibber-jabber to make it look like I had something other to say and perhaps more interesting than good). Here is what I was thinking: "Yeah Im good....no actually Im extremely uncomfortable. I know nothing about your life besides your face, your name, that you like boys. I know that you know I saw you before and Im not going to pretend that I just realized you were here by raising my voice pitch."
Well, I am lazy and don't feel like rescuing this story so I am off to watch GIRLS. Lastly, gay men are people so I am sorry if I offended anyone by making them seem shallow or anything else. I can't make conscious decisions right now.