Am I Socially Awkward? Or Am I Just Different?I'm the middle child of my family. I have an older brother (4 years older than me) and a younger sister (a year younger than me)
I'm 16 years old and half way through my junior year in high school. Coming into high school i felt a lot of pressure to fill my brother's shoes. He was pretty much everything you want to be in high school, he was great at sports, popular with everyone, got good grades, did lots of extra-curricular activities, got girls, was well liked among the teachers, and he knew exactly what he wanted to do in college. It wasn't just like this for him in high school it's been like this for him his whole life.
Me on the other hand I'm different. I'm not a popular guy but a lot of people know me and i know a lot of people, i'm good at sports but not yet great, i'm not really an extra curricular guy but i'm good at drawing and rapping.I'm not a exactly social butterfly, but I'm not afraid to talk to people if i have to. Sometimes i can just start up a conversation w/ a girl I've never talked to or barley talk to and other times the conversations can end up being awkward.
I've "talked to" or "went steady" with some girls in my life but I've never been a ladies man at all. To some girls I come off as being really awkward and i don't why because i refuse to approach a girl unless I'm feeling confident. Even people say I'm awkward as hell when it comes to dancing with girls. People laugh at me every time i get twerked on or get grinder on by a girl people just say I look awkward. People also say i walk weird and stiff which kept me from starting in football last year (my coach said i need to get more fluid before he would play me)
Like honestly when it comes to the quick talk that picks up girls I'm terrible at but when it comes to the real conversations and everything else that's where I'm great at.
I also feel so alone during school because i can honestly say I'm one of the only people that has their priorities straight (trying to get good grades and go to college for sports) and y dedication and hardwork is so foreign and different to people that a lot of the time people try to fry me because they don't understand how bad I want succeed.
i honestly maybe have like 3 genuine friends and everybody else I'm just cool with or i absolutely hate. I try to give people a chance and warm up to them but that usually never works. We talk, but Me and my brother also have a strained relationship because of the age gap and him thinking he's to cool for me so talking about something like this with him would be so awkward and weird for both of us
I want high school to go for me
Like how it went for my brothers
I feel like i wasted 2 1/2 years of some of the best years in my life and i want to make up for it before it's too late.
What should i do?