Internal ContradictionI was very shy as a child. I wouldn't ignore people but would only speak when spoken to, and then in a whisper to the back of my parents legs. As I got older I made myself start talking, made myself start being loud and obnoxious and say all the goofy stuff thats in my head. But I still have this internal "old me" that goes "Oh no don't say it!" but I brush it aside and just go on and on and on. So either I'm loud and weird with a small part of me cringing in the corner of my mind....or I just don't speak at all. Seems my only two options that I'm capable of and my only two reactions to meeting new people. My friends who are close to me think it's cute watching me meet people. I'm a little bit more balanced around them but not much. I wish I had more control over my "happy medium".
elloluv 21-25, F 7 Responses 4 Nov 9, 2007