How'd I End Up Like This?

I've always found it hard to make friends but I seemed to be able to make a few at any given time but as I got older I found it increasingly harder to make friends because everyone else moved on. They got into relationships, had children and got decent jobs. Me? I ended up living alone in a bach and counting myself lucky if I see someone maybe once a fortnight. Most contact with the outside world is carried out on a machine communicating with a world out there that seems to be indifferent unless there is something to sell or a celebrity to promote. Being virtually unemployable means I have no means to get out there and socialise, although that is unlikely to happen anyway because of the fact I'm often pushed to the sidelines in clubs and other places when I join them. It's one of the reasons why I stopped going to church, joining charities and other such stuff: I didn't meet a lot of people and the ones I met were usually so tied up in the hobby concerned they ignored people like me. The other thing I've observed about clubs is the cliques that form within them. The cliques gang up on people they perceive as outsiders and make it clear they have no business being there by using the silence treatment until they give up and go. Rather than put up with that crap I prefer to be alone. But I don't like being alone. I want to meet people but it would seem they don't want to meet me.
millimi millimi
41-45, M
8 Responses Aug 22, 2011

Just be Yourself. Even if it's wacky (like me lol) Be who you are. Don't "should" on yourself.. There is so much out in the world that I simply don't relate to anymore and I'm fine with that. I don't WANT to be involved with "Everyone"...

Do things that appeal to ►you.◄ Find a single passion in your life and involve yourself with that...if others find common interest with it, you may make new friends.

It IS true, that as we age, it is always harder to find kindred spirits. Others have moved on, Marriages/divorce, job transfers, illness, children, grandchildren etc..

►We MUST "Reinvent"◄ ourselves now.. My interests have been (as an example) with the Political Scene. Boy Howdy does that ever bring like minded people together!.. Also chases a few away but whatever... Sometimes we also have to "smile even when it hurts." "Be friendly" even when that hurts...

Fundamentally, I am a private person... I don't happen to like being in crowds all of the time; I don't like our too fast, keep up with the Joneses, plastic "materialistic" society either... A precious few friendships and that's all I need..

Best Wishes...

This sounds exactly like me though I am employed!

I wanna be your friend!!!

brilliant, Yeah this is how i feel everyday at college, I feel like people laugh at me and use me as something for there entertainment, Then i have this girl that has to disagree with everything i say just to **** me off.<br />
I hate it

You shouldn't stop going to church.

Yeah, people should express themselves more and in a timely fashion.

I had an unusual experience last night (NZST) when I encountered an old female friend who told me I never thought of me as gay or came across as gay and that I was a handsome guy when I was younger. I was taken aback because she never called me handsome at the time. Isn't it amazing that when people say the nicest things it often comes from a person whom you can never have or it comes too late to make a difference? I'm a firm believer that a belated compliment is better than no compliment but it would be nice if they came at the right time.

I totally understand what you are saying. As I'm getting older, it is harder to met good people who share your same values and interests. Plus in this economy, if you don't have "going out" money, it makes it more difficult. I just recently joined to site to seek some answers for my isolation and/or hopefully meet like minded people who are empathic.