How'd I End Up Like This?
I've always found it hard to make friends but I seemed to be able to make a few at any given time but as I got older I found it increasingly harder to make friends because everyone else moved on. They got into relationships, had children and got decent jobs. Me? I ended up living alone in a bach and counting myself lucky if I see someone maybe once a fortnight. Most contact with the outside world is carried out on a machine communicating with a world out there that seems to be indifferent unless there is something to sell or a celebrity to promote. Being virtually unemployable means I have no means to get out there and socialise, although that is unlikely to happen anyway because of the fact I'm often pushed to the sidelines in clubs and other places when I join them. It's one of the reasons why I stopped going to church, joining charities and other such stuff: I didn't meet a lot of people and the ones I met were usually so tied up in the hobby concerned they ignored people like me. The other thing I've observed about clubs is the cliques that form within them. The cliques gang up on people they perceive as outsiders and make it clear they have no business being there by using the silence treatment until they give up and go. Rather than put up with that crap I prefer to be alone. But I don't like being alone. I want to meet people but it would seem they don't want to meet me.