I Am Calling On You

My whole family agrees, my sister's boyfriend is an a**hole.

We don't know what to do anymore.  We have all voiced our concerns about him but it is like talking to a brick wall.

He is not only an alcoholic, but he mentally and PHYSICALLY abuses her.  he is 10 years older than her, (she is 24 and he is 34) and yet he acts like a 5 year old.  He called me 9 times last night, the first I answered and he said "Your sister is in big trouble with her boss, tell her to pick up her phone, or she might lose her job."  a) My sister was just at a photography conference with her boss b) why would he know that? c) it was almost 1 in the morning.  I was fortunately at home from college for spring break and told my mom about it and she told me not to bother my sister with it.  He apparently called my sister over 100 times that night alone.  She is his "go to" whenever he feels the need to drink, kill himself, or is drinking.  This would be ok, but he does it practically every night and she has work the next day. Plus when he is drunk he destroys her house that she lives in with three other girls and has peed in her bed too.

He also is always pressuring her to do sexual things with her and then gives her a guilt trip about it later because "he is a bad Christian" and "she is the devil" for tempting him.

I could go on about this guy, but the point is, she needs him out of her life.

Everyone in my family has told me this is a bad relationship.  She has hit me before and yelled at me once when I asked her to leave him.  Never before did my sister verbally abuse me and she has always been so timid in sweet.  He feeds her lies and in turn feeds us lies.  She is turning into him.

It has been over 2 years since they have been dating.  This can't go on any longer.  I feel the need to involve the authorities might be the only option soon.

Thank you all for your advice.

Marshmellowed Marshmellowed
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 11, 2009

Thank you for your comments. I have looked for Alanon meetings in my area, unfortunately the only two are very far away from where we live. I would like to get her to come with me, but she'd never agree. I guess all I can do is stand back and watch.

i am sorry to hear this. but if u all go on at her thay will only be together longer if u stop telling her to leave him let her get on whith it evan though it will be hard after doing this thay will break up u just have to be as though u have washed your hands of them and that will be hard but if u all go on at her she will only be more determind to stay with him best of luck.

Perhaps get her to go to Alanon or a support group for abused women. She is obviously codependent and needs to deal with that. However she has to want to make the change all you can do is let her know you are there for her when she decides to.