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People Drift In And Out Of My Life

Antisocial...from time to time...is just the perception I feel a lot of people have of me. When I was in my early twenties, that was a much more social period of my life. It was a time of searching, developing relationships and finding the people I want and need around me. Not to give the wrong impression, I'm no one's idea of a social butterfly and it wasn't enjoyment that drove me but I did know what I wanted and that seemed the way to find it. Making an effort to stay with some group, going out when I would rather have stayed home and having people over even though I would have preferred to be alone...
Those were the necessary sacrifices and these days I like to reap the rewards. Unless there's a compelling reason for me to socialize with anyone outside the handful I'm close to I won't do it. So people drift in and out of my life now. Some stick around as kind of distant friends, when we happen to run into each other we talk but don't make any plans to get together, and others avoid me after I decline invitations to do this or that for long enough.
Now I have an old Anthrax song stuck in my head, lol. Not that it has anything to do with my story but I might have to dig out the album and listen to it now.
Powderblue Powderblue 36-40, F Jan 26, 2011

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