I Wish I Had An Invisibility CloakOk, so I am a freshman in highschool, but all my life I have been somewhat of an introvert. It have noticed over the past year I have become extremely bitter, cold, cynical and irritated with others around me and also very withdrawn too. I have a few friends but even when I talk to them I feel annoyed but I try not to show it. I have also noticed that I have become very judgemental towards others and mean. I keep all of these thoughts and feelings in my head because I don't want to drive people away. I also talk to myself a lot but only when no one else is around.
I'm content with not having many close friends and I enjoy my own company, but whenever I see people laughing and having a good time with their friends I get very depressed. That's when I get mad at myself for not trying to be as social. The thing is though, I'm fine without having much friends but then I get mad at myself for not being as social, so it's kinda contradicting. Anyway I don't want to be that person who b!tches about not having friends when they don't even try. Sometimes I just want to go hide in a corner and just be by myself and not talk to anyone, actually it's more like most of the time. Most people think I'm nice but if I just opened up my mouth to them they would realize I'm just a judgemental, antisocial, b!tch. Anyway hopefully I'm not alone. I guess I'll shutup now. P.S. sorry this is so pathetic