I've pushed everyone out. I've taken down all of my social networks ( mainly due to the fact that my girlfriend doesn't want me have them because and it causes drama) and I don't really have friends. Most of my buddies will want to hang out but then they see my girlfriend doesn't like any of them. So they stay away. I love my lady but sometimes I think I'm becoming this antisocial person is because I'm afraid of being myself with her. We have a two year old and we've only been together for three years. I met her and after one month she was pregnant. Things happen. And now we are forced to make a family out of no foundation. It hurts that she doesn't want anything to do with my social life, she just wants me to be a great dad... It's hard to be the best when someone doesn't want to see those qualities. And on top of all that, we don't connect as much. Like we have common interest but that connection. It's not there anymore or maybe I just can't see it... Idk I do my part, I take care of my lovely daughter, I make sure she's healthy and happy, but when it's time for me to have a little fun, the lady says that part is over.... What to do... Because now I'm just antisocial.
LonerChild LonerChild
22-25, M
4 Responses Aug 31, 2014

I look at life this way
it is too short to be unhappy. If something doesn't make you happy whether it be a job, a relationship, or a lifestyle than you owe it to yourself to change that. because y'all have a child together does not mean that you have to stay with your girlfriend. Your child will still be happy whether or not you and your girlfriend stays together. A happy child isn't a child who parents are together but one who is loved by that parent and are cherished,feel protected and are giving devoted attention.

If you are unhappy than change it, life is too short to be miserable.

Hmm. Sounds to me like you both need to go couples counselling. Trust me if she hears an outside and objective opinion maybe she'll be a bit more understanding.

I have the same problem. Our first born was 6 months after we married. She was a premee. Or connection just faded away. I dont even know her anymore. Same with the friends. There is a set of rules for her and one for me. It's awful. Not sure what to tell you. It does help at least having an outlet like on here.

Yes, i agree. I have no one to talk to at all at this point that's why I'm on here. Maybe you can talk to her for me. (just kidding). If you have advice to help me i am open to hear it. I know your a lot younger than me but i wouldn't mind a fresh protective on things. I'm only on here to vent frustrations, share an opinion make some friends along the way.

Exactly my point, yes kids are a tough gig but being with someone who doesn't share to same vision when it comes those kids are much more difficult. It's like being afraid to leave but also knowing that you love someone too much to just let them go.

I had no one to watch my daughters. My family isn't capable or willing. She was to small for a babysitter. Her risk for infection was very high so we limited who could have contact with her for the first year but it didn't matter then because my wife and I hung out and did everything together back then. I took the majority of household responsibilities even with my second child who was very sick and still has a g-tube in her stomach. I did it to the point of neglecting myself. I did't mind my wifes social life to this past spring. Now it is to the point of ruinning our marriage. Moderation in everything. We had her mom come and stay with us and I'm sitting there last night with her while my wife is at the bar. My kids are asking where is mommy? Why didn't she take you? I'll let you guess why I wasn't invited. CHEATING CHEATER LYING LIAR! Her social life turned into the affair she is having. While I'm at home taking care of her mother.

did she tell you she was pregnant when you entered the relationship?

What I meant was after a month of dating, we had sex so much and she were pregnant. Two 19 year olds having a good time turned into 9 months after of me knowing I had gotten her pregnant and everything I wanted was now down the drain. Daddy time.

She got pregnant from me

Ahh ok, just misunderstood your choice of wording.
Now the only thing i can think of in your situation is to compromise with your wife, ask her if you can go out drinking with friends occasionally. offer to look after the child (if the child is slightly older- not needing the presence of his mommy) while your wife parties with her friends.
The way i see it, if you let your wife control how and with who you spend your time with your friends, you will be bored and lonely further on in life.
Trust me, if you start to lose your current long-term friends. who will befriend you if you do not leave the house for fear of the wrath of the Mrs?

I do those things, I ask and she's like "do you need that right now, if life is about partying then you need to count your daughter and I out of your life" and I'm like it's just one drink like wtf. Then it's like why does my daughter get thrown in the mix Everytime! She doesn't go out with friends, it's weird idk. She's a great mom and but just lacks that great personality. Not full of fun, spontaneity , or humor. Just dull

Ask her why she feels the need to threaten with leaving you should you decide to go for that one drink?
And just because she chooses to not go out does not mean she should choose for you aswell.

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