How Can Freedom Be Boring?

As a person whose been around for ages, I find it ridiculous that I've had to put up with such boring activities as routine housework everyday for so many years!  After so many years of going to work at the same job and being jealous of every single retiree, my time finally came. Whoopee! Free time forever!!  What can be better? Is it true I'm going to get to paint for the rest of my life? Can I sleep as long as I want to every morning and stay up late every night? Can I go around without makeup or conveniently forget to get a hair cut? Wow!  What a concept!  And if I don't want to wash dishes - so what?! Ain't that the life, though!  The truth is, I was bored out of my mind!!!  I stayed in bed til noon, plopped in front of the TV, watched and did crosswords all afternoon and typed my opines to several groups online. I saw no one.  I talked to no one.  I didn't bathe, didn't brush my hair, didn't go out unless absolutely necessary and only cleaned up once a week 'cause I knew no it wasn't going to get messed up.  I began to feel panicky, closed in, anxious and ugly.  I put on weight, smoked incessantly, avoided friends and neighbors and became a true recluse. The anxiety and panic made me terrified that I was going to die all alone in this house, but for some reason I couldn't figure out how to take a step in a positive direction. I was immobilized!  What happened to all the joy retirement was supposed to bring? Was it just a fairytale? How come no one warned me this could happen? Am I the only one? Something had to be done - but WHAT? ..........more later.......
penny4yours penny4yours
66-70, F
May 24, 2012