Both Sides, Extremes, Stereotypes And Bashing.

I've read a lot of stories on here pertaining to anti-feminism and feminism and it appears, much like the conservative vs. liberal debate in politics, it's mainly just about a bunch bashing and assumptions, judging individuals on the basis of a stereotypical group.

I do not call myself a feminist, because honestly I'm ashamed at how the newer breed of feminists have presented themselves. Many of them have gone to the extreme of bashing men in general and women who choose to stay home and raise their children. They also hold many double standards.-

Does this mean that I do not think that women should have equal opportunities as men? No, it doesn't. If you can do the job as well or better than a man, then yes you should be able to receive the same or better pay. That being said, I don't want a 90 lb. woman trying to rescue me from a fire, there's a reason that there are certain requirements for certain jobs. If you can't cut it, then the standards should not be lowered for you.

I don't agree with  those within the movement that want to try and force men only clubs to allow women. Then they are ok with clubs that only allow women.  Isn't that a double standard? I have no problem with men only clubs and women only clubs. I went to a gym that was women only and I preferred it. The women were much more supportive of each other and less competitive when men were not around. Why shouldn't men also have this opportunity?

I spent a long time as a single mother wishing that I could have the time to spend with my children that they deserve. Now I have it. My husband takes on the burden of making the money for me to do so. I consider it a blessing that I can stay home. These are not only Christian values by the way. I am Pagan and in many of the Pagan belief systems, women were worshiped as life givers and providing for their children as a loving mother was and is still not looked down upon. instead they are held in high esteem as should be the case.

Nobody should say that they are 'just' a mother or father. It is one of the most important jobs there is. You are raising a whole human being. It is of my opinion that it is ideal for one parent to stay home if possible, whether it is the father or mother. It is better for the children. Yes, fathers can be great nurturers too. I am aware that this is not always possible, but it is an ideal situation. I feel that the current feminist movement does not hold this responsibility in high regard.

Just for the record, I don't consider myself an anti-feminist either. Both are extremes and they lack balance, not presenting true equality among women and men. I do realize that not everyone fits the mold on either side that the majority seem to present, but I still would not label myself as either.

RhombusInTheSquare RhombusInTheSquare
41-45, F
8 Responses Nov 11, 2012

You make excellent points here, and I agree with almost all of them. I still have some faith in the ideals of feminism, and do consider it to be about equality, but you are right. A lot of women, particularly those who do not really understand feminism, take it up as a means of acting (and "proving") themselves superior to men. Superiority should be based solely on merit.

There have been times when I've been surrounded by groups of these women (calling themselves feminists) when I've been ashamed to admit that I was a feminist. I have been giving it a lot of thought, and think that maybe, in this day and age, when discrimination can go in either direction, that "Equalism" might be a better name for the movement.

Not better pay. And what gives women the right or anyone else the right not to start at base pay. No one should walk in off the street and make as much as someone who has been with a company for years. Who has already proven themselves and hung in there with good and bad times of the company.

True, whether they are female or male.

Thats right I never had a problem with equality. Only with special treatment of one or the other.

Feminist would get alot further if they would learn how to respect. And learn to ask instead of demands. Get their goals on merit instead of special privilege because they are women

Ask who??? You?

Rules of society lilt deal with it.

Yeah? Plenty of people have to deal with bigoted rules for society. Your rules are not mine.

Lilt you don't know me and your rules don't apply to me you will never tell me what to now get off me your comments don't apply to story here

I do and don't care I'll block them all

Yes snow, it appears that you have many stalkers snowlover, because this story was pretty much dormant from a few months ago with just a few comments. Once you commented, every time I refreshed there was a new comment her by You must have really made some impression.

Pretty much ineedadrink. Kind of a never ending one.

Yeah it's the nasty girls and friends they even steal whole story and paste over what they don't want to keep.

5 More Responses

I agree with you very much as well. I still call myself a feminist even though I do not like how many of the newer breed of radical, extreme feminists present feminism and themselves. I also believe that they are the minority of feminists, but unfortunately anti-feminists often choose to cling to their ideals and label all of us as viewing things the same way, and I think that is why many women like you refuse to admit they are feminists even though based on how they view things they clearly are. That is in part why I am unwilling to give up considering myself a feminist. I am not going to let the hateful, vitriolic rhetoric that many anti-feminists continuously spew about feminism, and the stereotyping they do knock me down and cause me to give up what I thank for giving me the rights and choices that women now have.

I don't really know why someone marked your comment down. Wish I could mark it back up, because there's nothing bad in this comment.

Thanks to both of you. The anti-feminists almost always mark my comments down even if they make perfect sense. To me that just shows how closed minded and hateful many of them are. If I like, and agree with something an anti-feminist has written, even if we have gotten into disputes about things, I have no problem indicating that I like it and I have done so many times.

While there are a few aspects where our views differ, I must say the intellectual honesty and consistency of your words and actions makes your article as well as yourself brilliant.

The view you presented is typical in view point (regarding feminism vs anti-feminism) of someone who labels themselves egalitarian, and as long as you stand for equality no matter how you label it, you are a good person in my book.

You certainly have a lucky husband and child.

Awe, thank you. I'm no vision of perfection, but I do believe in equality.

I completely agree with the content of your article. I guess the fact that you choose not to label yourself a feminist is your decision, right? Especially since I can see that you are not narrow-minded in your notions of gender (like so many people here are, in my opinion).

Thank you. The last thing I would want to be is narrow-minded.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this issue. I find your post to be thoughtful, balanced and well written. I agree that both sides engage in bashing and stereotyping; that both extremes are harmful; that both sides need to remember to be respectful and that double standards (whoever may be setting them) are not helpful nor fair.
Kudos to you for speaking up:-)

I agree with about 90% of what you said. Very well written article. I appreciate and respect your opinion. Thanks for sharing it.

Thank you :)