I'm so sorry that I don't have the courage to say what I need to. You should have not been strung along due to my cowardice, you deserve so much more. If I could give you those 4 months back to you I would, but they are lost to me as they are for you. They didn't tell you when you were younger that when you are a coward you lose more than your ability to fight but also your ability to be yourself. I'm so sorry.