To Everyone..

I am sorry. Im Sorry that i am not a very happy person. Im sorry i am often in a depressed mood. I am sorry that i can be self destructive.

I am sorry that you are good people who try to be patient and listen to me. Im sorry if i have bothered you. I want to be happy. I want to be different. I don't want to be the mopey fat chick that gets on everyones nerves.

I don't want to annoy you. I don't want you to hate me. Im sure if you have talked to me enough you have grown tired of it all. The funny thing is i don't even say how intensely horrible i am most of the time. 

I have really grown to despise the melancholy me. The only problem with that is its a cycle that doesn't  get broken.

So, to anyone who has truly had enough of me... you can

  • A. ignore me
  • B. block me
  • C. wait for me to kill myself
  • D. wait for my profile to be deleted
  • E. come to nj and kill me yourself or
  • F. you really don't give a damn and do whatever the hell you want because this is a completely pointless thing to think about

So, please accept my apology. I wish I never troubled any of you to begin with. I.. didn't mean to be  this way..

Tacit Tacit
22-25, F
4 Responses Nov 5, 2008

Aw thank you very much.<br />
<br />
A routine definitely helps. Its just that i have been dealing with this for so long. im waiting for it to finally end.

Depression is crappy. I have it myself. Medication at the right dose is helpful. Make sure you continue to see your doctor and talk about whether the dose you are using is the right level. There is also the possibility of seeing a psychologist that may be helpful for you too. <br />
Just make sure you keep getting out of bed and maintaining a personal routine. Eventually the depression will go away. Just don't let the journey totally defeat you along the way. It's ok to not be ok sometimes. Eveeryone gets their turn in this lifetime. <br />
Be well Tacit.

Thank you. <br />
I am really tired of depression. I thought medication would help.... i guess it has.. maybe. I really do appreciate everyone around me, i just imagine it is a lot to deal with

The only reason I feel sorry for you is that you think you are not what other people expect you to be. For the depression I'm truly sorry as it may be at chemical imbalance for you beating yourself up over what ither people think. No I'm not tired of your depression and neither should be your friends, they just need to kick you butt every now and then.