I Have A Question About South Africa

Thanks Lehakoe, happy to entertain X@

Hahahahahaha. Oh my Gosh, that was hilarious. Nice read.

*giggle* Yeah, really! Hey AP where are you! X@

heheheeeee



At least I stayed with food, including braai's. That Andrew chap moves it to ****. Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!

B! NO, NO, you can't say sorry! You and AP had the best comments, and took me on a very happy, very convoluted and thoroughly enjoyable ride! MORE! MORE! X@

What did I do???



Will it help if I say that I'm sorry??



love

b

Hey T! I love the comments, and especially AP and Bcj's tangents! It lifts my spirits! I also re-visit and re-read! X@

whenever I need to laugh, I come back to this post... simply brilliant when another's ignorance is so blantantly exposed! *hugs n kisses my sister for this* xxoo T~

Hi Gr8white! Welcome to the madhouse! X@

EISH!!! You have to have hair on your chest (and b*lls) to survive in South Africa. Be aware of the fact that Africa and therefore South Africa is not for sissys and p*ss crickets.

@ MissSass - I was born at night and that makes me a night owl. I am most definitely not black. I don't think there is any truth in the argument. People are ignorant and................plain stupid.

Hi TLK, jy's baie welkom bokkie! X@

This was funny, thanks for the laugh

;D I'm quite tickled actually! hee hee X@

Oops...



AP

Andrew



However did you manage to build a bridge from CC's story and the comments which were about culture, cuisine, etc. to ***********.



I thought that I am strange, Hmmmmmph

wasn't me.



i am not a **** star.



oh my!!!

Pleasure Andrew, I can't believe you've roped me, ME!!!, into a **** story. Dear, dear!

bcj's braai story was so witty, and so well-written, that now I am *ABSOLUTELY* determined to write a South African character into one of my **** novels. But I'll probably put him in an Asian city I know -- Hong Kong? Seoul? -- so that I can get away with mistakes here and there. Eg. my character Eduardo is a Spanish Filipino, but I made sure he is domiciled in Venice, a city I know well. And just in case, I made him fluent in Japanese.



Heh heh, maybe my South African character will be fluent in Thai... or Malay.



Since I'm here amongst friends, I'd like to solicit suggestions for possible names for a male character who is South African, very worldly, but also a bit posh. I was thinking of something like Thomas Oehlers, but we have that family name here, and people might think I was writing about them! Maybe something where something a bit different in the spelling tells you that it is from the New World, not the Old World.



I love you, Cabcraft. Thank you for letting the manne run wild on your thread!



AP

My pleasure, dear Lady.



That kind of madness surfaces at times, but only rarely.



hahaha



Love and peace

b

Eish *shaking head despondently* you manne is blerry naughty hey! Guys hijack away. It's most entertaining. B - enjoyed the braai story!

Thanks for the cooking site B X@

*scurries away, has spotted the assegai*



:D



*tea break from EP*



Andrew

Hahhaha



Can't be me because I am as dark as the ace of spades.



If it were me, though, then that boyfriend would have been impaled on the assegai, looking somewhat like a kebab.



hahaha

told you that we could be evil.

Andy,



We are as western as you can think; lascivious, naughty, nice, sexy, spicy. This is not black or white or holy or evil. Even some of the wildest things that you write are mere kindergarten level games compared to some of the rl issues here.



just google and be shocked.



love and peace

b

P/s: Let's make the character a very light-complexioned man who has lived in the Cape and in Jozi, has Sean Connery eyebrows, carries an assegai, is Roman Catholic, and trained in Engineering and speaks German too. And then we'll give him a boyfriend...



:D



AP

bcj, this is so wonderful. Do you think I will become persona non grata in South Africa if I write a colourful South African character into my next pornographic novel?



I must be a masochist or something. For two days I have been farting about with deep edits concerning my character M'akena, who is an African-American chickbabe, because I am worried that shoes and bricks will come flying through my windshield if I get it wrong.



:P



*HUGS*



*another, bigger HUG for cabcraft, who is so patient with bcj and me*



Love,



Andrew

AP



Mengelmoes = mixed pot, pot-pouri with reference to an urban or peri-urban environment, people in one town who come from many tribal and cultural backgrounds.



Potjie = is almost the same as mengelmoes, but with ref to food. This type of cooking was done on the mines circa 1900 (Kimberley diamond finds et al) where the African workers cooked over open fires outside. The pots were black cast iron ones which became blackened further by the fire. These are still cast today and are sought after as they make the most wonderful stews, roasts and roasted potatoes. We also buy the flat bottomed ones so that we can use them on the hob. The magic, though, is the added smokiness from the burning wood of an open fire.



See



http://cookbook.co.za/meat-recipes/beef-recipes/oxtail-potjie/

and

http://cookbook.co.za/meat-recipes/greek-lamb-shanks/

Hey AP



let me help



Braai = BBQ, but with much more character. This is how to do it right -



1. Tell the wife that she is the designated driver. This will get her really pissed. She will bliksem you later.

2. As you arrive, greet the manne with "Howzit".

3. Receive a beer, twist the top off and say "cheers". That final "R" may never be silent.

4. Throw the empty beer bottle in the trash.

5. Get another beer. Beer, ok! Not that 2% **** water that they sell oversees. Here, light beer is 4% alcohol by volume and regular is 5.8%. Well, if you want to run with the big dogs, you can't **** like a puppy, you know.

6. Stand with the manne around the braai bin/weber/etc

7. Go inside to greet the hostess and the other ladies. This delay would have given them time to greet each other and to start their ten simultaneous skinner stories going, so that the room sounds like a hornets nest.

8. This part is very tricky. Make sure that your greet everyone and that they acknowledge you without breaking the rhythm and flow of their stories. If you get this wrong, the whole group, including husbands, will get to know what a doos you are, before next weekend's braai.

10. Pour your first Klippies and coke and if you are a senior manager/executive at some company, then no-one will be offended if you have a whiskey.

11. By this time ,you will have offended one of the hens, somehow. Just know that you have embarrassed your wife and you are now in the kak.

12. Pour another dop. Nothing else will take away the pain that will surely come. She will tell you that you are sleg, your parents are sleg, your brothers are ******** and you sister is a *****. Oh, and you had better fire your super sexy secretary.

13. Just thinking about this makes your head hurt, so, pour another dop.

14. Someone has put some wors on the grill and the aroma fetches you. You join the manne around the braai and you talk about rugby, Koos who got picked up for DUI, Jannie, whose wife has found out about his stukkie and much other non essential bs.

15. Make sure that you drink enough so that when you get home, you pass out on the bed with your shoes on. You see, this way she can only kak on you tomorrow when the babelas is gone.

16. Oh, and sometime between when you arrive and leave the braai, ensure that you eat something. You should try as liquid diets can kill you.

17. If, when you awake, it is Sunday or a public holiday, pour another dop to keep the babelas away.



hahaha



glossary

bliksem =beat/scold

manne =the guys

skinner stories = slanderous gossip

doos = c_nt/*******

Klippies = a brand of brandy

dop = drink

in the kak =in the ****/ the **** has hit the fan

sleg = bad person, *******, doos, waste of oxygen

wors = sausage

stukkie = mistress, girl on the side

kak on you = give you hell

babelas = moerse hangover

moerse = astronomical, massive, gigantic, etc

Hello cabcraft. Thanks for letting me listen in on this. I'm learning so much food vocab!



mengelmoes (yay, I guessed that one right!!!!)



:D



braai (*okay, for that one I had the idea of brewing beer, before the "Oh!' moment).



potjie



Thank you...



:)



AP

Grahamstown, too British for me. I love the mengelmoes of Cape Town with its influences from Portuguese, British, Dutch, Khoi, French, Greek, Afrikaans, Turkish, Malay, Indian, Chinese and now, coloured influences.



If you want Local cape Town then go to the parade or to the flea markets but the craziest experience is a fishing harbour, eg St Helena Bay or Kalk Bay. Oh my, the colloquial language is rich, expressive, crude, crass, and sometimes awful, but the imagery can not be ignored nor can it be misunderstood. You will know what they think of you.



hehehe

http://www.ejozi.co.za/south-african-cuisine/alikreukel.html



These guys only heard of recipes though.