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Slightly Ashamed...

I'm slightly ashamed of my Spanish heritage, not because it's Spanish, I believe Spanish is a beautiful culture, I'm ashamed because I speak very slow broken Spanish and know very little about my heritage. My entire family is Spanish, on both sides and everyone in my family speaks Spanish but me. My mother, my father, and even my sister speak Spanish, but I only know a very limited broken amount. It makes me feel very left out in family gatherings and I tend to try to avoid seeing my family, especially my older family members, because I know they question why I don't know Spanish yet am from full Spanish blood.

I know not all people of Spanish descent speak Spanish but it is still very embarrassing to admit to people and when they ask what nationality I am, I refuse to answer because if I say Spanish, they want to hear me talk in Spanish and say how they love the way Spanish sounds, but I can't speak it, so I end up putting myself to shame and I feel like I'm a fake wanna-be Latino. I have been trying to learn Spanish and more of my culture but find it very difficult.

I hate my mother and father for not teaching me Spanish as a child, they knew it perfectly well and had more than the ability to teach me, and yet decided not to. I feel annoyed that they were too lazy to speak to their child in Spanish and decided instead of teaching me an important skill at the perfect age, they would instead decide to just let me go through it the hard way and struggle through my ethnicity.

I refuse to admit to most people that I am Spanish because at times, I feel like I'm not...I always say "I have no ethnicity, I'm just me. Don't ask me again." then we leave it at that and never speak of it again.

This blows...

MrUntitled MrUntitled 18-21, M 6 Responses Dec 13, 2009

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just keep working on it.

OMG don't worry. listen, the cool things about spaniards is that we are immigrants, and we adapt very well to our new homelands. while i understand what you mean, culture is about morals and values. You may not speak spanish, but you probably have the passion, ethics, and principles of your SPanish. I was Ms. Spain for years....joined every social club, evyerhting revolved around spain, studied everything i could get my hands on about history. etc....And I finally burnt out, b/c in the i realized that the "Spanish Soul" i feel in love with and made me WORSHIP everything spanish, had little to do with people being born there, or speaking spanish. It had ot do with understanding what ideals made us different and trying to incorporate them every day in your love. Having passion, being a loyal friend, being happy and joyous, knowing how to stand up for injustices....THATS WHAT MAKES YOU SPANISH!!! I know dedicate my time to talking to bicultural people.....Join my facebook page!! WE can share stories!! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Bicultural-and-Multicultural-People-Rule-A-Place-to-Discuss-Our-Uniquenes/103633399674730<br />
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ANIMO! you are more spanish than you realize. UN BESO!!!!

You shouldn't be ashamed. I grew up hearing Spanish from my mom. I know how to speak it and how to write a little. I still don't like to talk it thou outside of my family. Many people have made fun of the way I talk it. Even thou it sounds right to me they say I don't speak it properly. So I don't talk it just sometimes a few words at home. && even then its Spanglish because most of the time I forget how to say something in Spanish so I say it in English and it just becomes a jumble of words.

I can help you..free!!!, we can chat for a while, you know...help each other because i want to speak english fluently....., <br />
from spain.... a friend.

i was the same way dude. my babysitter taught me spanish instead of my parents and even still i cant speak it perfectly, I'll say things in the wrong tense past, present, future etc. Its easier than it sounds to learn though. take some classes and immerse yourself in the culture. spend some time in a spanish speaking part of town and watch some novelas and see how much u can understand. sooner or later it will be just like tuning in to a radio station with your brain.

Do not be angry with them. Spanish is very easy to learn and pronounce. You're always on time.We all can if we seek it and you're not going to be less ^^<br />
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You want to learn Spanish and I want to learn English. <br />
How much you pay for classes?negotiate? LOOL xDD.