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I Am Spiritual, Not Religious

Should We Judge How Our Parents Raised Us?

By: trew123
Written on July 10th, 2012
By: trew123
Age: 61-65 , Male
75 people have read this story

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3 responses
  • Sarah198

    thank you for your two posts, they are filled with wise and encouraging words. Yes we do sometimes have to let go of the small stuff and look at the bigger picture to enjoy life. Handling things with maturity is what gets us through. I agree.

    Jul 11, 2012
    3 likes
  • Sarah198

    honestly judging your parents comes natural like judging your kid's behavior XD



    That's why I never believed in that particular type of "judgement day" I am judged every single day by my parents, siblings, cousins, teachers, boss, nephew, society in general, police etc....



    I do hold bitterness inside because my mother is a very negative person...extremely traditional and religious woman who could do whatever she could to keep me indoors cleaning cooking and wanting me to marry and procreate and have those children be traditional and religious as well. Well I haven't done that and we are at constant odds. I'm never allowed to move out, step outside be independent, to grow as person in other ways!!!



    So yes no matter how I try there is a side of me that holds bitterness, resentment but I do love my mother unconditionally. I just don't like her!!! hahahaha

    Jul 10, 2012
    2 likes
    • trew123

      Sometimes these comments lose their formatting once I hit the save and the comment becomes one long paragraph. If this happens, please go to Trew123 and read the story about coping which is a copy of this reply.

      I appreciate your comments. I regret that you must carry this extra weight around. Being unfulfilled is a waste of opportunity to enjoy all the good things that this life can give. I remember becoming so mad one day at the office that I slammed a file I was working on onto the floor and stalked out of the office with the full intention of going to my apartment, packing a bag, going to the airport and flying back “home”. That was the full extent of my plan: run. I did not like my job or the people there, and just popped my cork.

      I had a company car which was in valet parking. They had parked my car against the wall of the office building I worked in, and parked two more cars in front of mine. I got in my car and waited for them to move the other two cars. One of the cars in front of mine would not start. They said they would have to get help and move the car out of the way, and for me to come back in an hour. I then went to a park across the street from my office building, and walked around looking at all the pretty flowers. I sat down and contemplated my next move.

      My blood pressure went down, I cooled off and God started whispering comforting thoughts. I like to say it was like a fog lifting and the sunlight of understanding made me realize I was not the only one in the game. I was on God's game board and it is His game that I was playing. Made me feel a lot better to know I was not alone, and that all this stuff was just a sideshow. Got to feeling so good that I went back to the office, and 20 years later retired from that job.

      This is one reason why I know that when I act an ***, God will pull on my reins and Gee or Haw me until I am back on the path He has chosen for me. I honestly can not say that life in general was better or the circumstances improved after this little experience, but I was enabled to cope better with the situation and salvage some of my enjoyment. The ability to better cope and enjoy life just are part of the wages paid by God to those who wish to cooperate with the Game Master's plan for success (His plan, His way). If it is my plan, then it is devoid of dimension, whereas His plan is highly nuanced, flexible enough to adjust to any obstacles.

      I went through several religious periods, and was hard and judgmental during that time because that is what was taught to me and I thought that was just the way it was. After awhile, I came to realize that the religions of this world were not the answer. Now when I encounter a hardliner preaching my way or the highway, I am reminded that I once was like that, so give them a bit of slack. God loans me a little of His compassion and understanding and reminds me that I am not here to change anyone's mind. I am here to spread His joy and excitement for the way His Ultimate plan is unfolding. I do that by living the internal life He makes possible, and the light of that is what influences people more than the words I may say.

      I surely hope you are able to either set this bitterness aside, and focus on enjoying your own life so that at least one of you will feel good enough to enjoy the positive and empowering feelings that are available.

      Jul 11, 2012
      1 like