The Constant Presence of God
Over 20 years have passed since this "experience." I was sitting on the beach in Florida. Watching, just watching the people streaming by. People went by without acknowledgment of my presence. No waves, no smiles, not even a nod of the head. I was already depressed and this pushed me deeper into the murky darkness of my despair. Giving up on my quest for recognition I closed my eyes thinking I could die right now, right here and no one would notice, or care. My mind focused on that thought. I asked myself "If I die - will GOD know, care?"
The sound of people talking began to subside. The sound of the waves against the beach receded into a whisper. My perception of myself changed as I became one with the beach. A grain of sand. I felt, rather than heard a song, a presence within and around me. "You are so beautiful to me..." Over and over again the same words yet each time the tenor and strength of the voice changed. Moving deeper and deeper into my consciousness and beyond into the fiber of my being. Slowly I became infused with the words. I felt beautiful, Loved. I could not have been in that "state of being" move than a few minutes (perhaps for hours - and without doubt; eternally.) Something I look forward to with a joyous/happy heart. I opened my eyes, got present again there on the beach. The people going by; smiled, waved, said HI & Hello. They saw me, they spoke to my existence, and I wondered WHY - WHAT CHANGED. Physically I had not changed. Emotionally I felt positive. Spiritually, I felt, and continue to feel ALIVE. GOD LIVES - GOD LIVES WITHIN ME - I AM ONE WITH GOD AS GOD IS ONE WITH ME.
My primary spiritual belief is: The connection that exists between GOD, human kind and nature in constant - UN breakable - eternal. Regardless how we might feel about GOD, S/He is the core of our being and allows us to find and follow our own folly. I believe this to be true based on my life of denying and Loving GOD as a presence in my life. No matter how low I have sunk into depression I kept coming back to living/loving life - fully - with joy. Since there is no Super GURU on the face of the planet to turn to for help, for guidance, I can only attribute my strength, my desire to BE, to excel - to GOD.
I believe with unwavering faith that GOD was my soloist. GOD sang to me Love that transcends human understanding. The feeling is as strong today as it was originally. Thank You GOD for the vision you have entrusted to me. Your servant, j. AMEN