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My 17 Year Old Son Is Blackmailing Me

Yes just when things seem like they have gotten as crazy as they can get my 17 year old offers up a new twist to my situation, blackmail! He has been talking to his best friend's ex girlfriend who lives in another city 45 min to an hour from here. He want to take her to a movie today, he has been talking about it all week. He assured me I could meet the girl's father but aside from that details were vauge.
Both of our cars are out of commission. I have made great progress on my soon to ex's Lexus (she is out of town this week and next), but it is not year drivable. He wants me to borrow my mother's car and i told him I could not as I had to spend the time to fix the car. Then all on his own he decides to call friends and offer them money to drive him there. I told him I was not going to let him go to see a girl I don't know with a friend of his I do not know, to another city. He then warned me of the dire consequences if i did not let him have his way. He told me he was going to tell my wife I had been calling her names to him. He said "she will believe me, she is mad at you." Sweet kid huh? He left to go to his friend's house and i let him go, he is too big to try to stop and i have a midterm tomorrow and the house is a wreck. I sent my wife a text message warning her of the coming blackmail so who knows what she will believe. He will be 18 in late December. I could always change the locks on the house then.
OmyTVC15 OmyTVC15 51-55, M 8 Responses Mar 31, 2012

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I'd change the locks, pack his stuff, send him to live with his mother. Then l'd get on with my life. Your not getting any younger,cause life's to short. Someone out there will appreciate you. Its obvious he takes you for granted ,

Actually now my wife know everything about me so no one can hold anything over my head. My son later told me everything was done to get rid of my wife. She is gone now and i have custody of my son.

you need to think of yourself from now on enough be good
he is taking advantage of you and disrespect you¸
please stop go for counselling with him if he disagrees tough for him
and make him leave the house

Things have changed a great deal and my son is now very respectful. He still needs to do better in school and help around the house but the disrespect has stopped.

If I'm not mistaken, I think there was a movie ba<x>sed on a similar teen's situation. I know there was a movie ba<x>sed on real events, where the teen went somewhere, wasn't back when expected, parents and search party were out for days, and finally found the son barely alive, from a car accident in an isolated area. That is a hard age, as noted above. Did you make him watch, Taken, with Liam Neeson? I know it's about two girls, but the point is, the father was right!

when my son was 19 i invited him and his g/f to join me on a long drive (day trip) he sat in front with me... he thought he could be mr. male mancho towards me, being an *** showing off in front of his girl... look at me, i can be an *** towards my mom...(verbal abuse) <br />
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we were driving down the los/angels freeway 5 north ( six lanes going both ways ) i was pist!!! <br />
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i took my right hand held it up and slamed it into his chest hard!!! i told him, dont you ever talk to me like that again...<br />
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mind you he is 9 inches taller then me and a strong young man... but ya know what, from that event... he watched what he said to me for many years after that...

hell id tell him... go for it kid... and see who has the last laugh here....call his bluff! <br />
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i would do what i did ....... i had a insh policy for my son in the event of my death he would become a rich man... i canceled it! <br />
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he had been an *** for 4 years, towards me... nothing i did or said stoped him.......... so i thought there is more than one way to skin a cat!

I did call his bluff, it was kind of funny.

yep.

I feel for you in this situation and I agree that there isn't much you can do except remind him of his lack of independence. You won't be able to stop him from doing what he wants. I do agree you should talk to his mother and let her know what you are thinking and considering doing. He might choose to go live with her and you won't have to deal with these years. I prefer honesty in my approach and do think it would take away his power. Even if you both don't get along, you share him as a son and need to work together on raising him. Good luck and remember that he will eventually come around but it might take to his early 20s.

Chalk one up in the Staying For The Kids column?

He is going to be staying with me right now my stbx is with her sister in GA. I am ready to change the locks on the house as soon as he turns 18

I wish you luck. My boys are probably going to be bigger than me at that age too!

I would say sit down, talk to your wife about your frustrations and acknowledge you might have said some things out of frustration in his presence. <br />
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It might lead to a conversation about issues in the marriage and it takes the power of his blackmail away. They can be real snots at that age.

I did not say anything. He is just going to say I did.

Oh!!! That's worse, the little snot. Then you handled it perfectly by giving her a heads up.

Thanks angeleyes!