Stuck On 73%

To those great people who have been following my saga on EP thanks for your kind words and support. The latest news isn't news at all. My stbx and her sister in law lawyer are still asking for 73% of my net income. I no longer worry about it as the figure it so pathetic it needs no comment.
Why don't they just find a figure they think they will get from a judge and ask for a little more. It makes no sense to ask for so much unless she just wants to aggravate me and she no longer has that power.
My new love has moved in with me. My lawyer strongly advised against it and I am getting more flak that a WWII bomber from other areas but I am beyond caring anymore. Stbx knows about it too so I no longer have anything to hide.
The fact is she needed a place to stay and I never though the divorce would drag on this long. It was supposed to be a quick dissolution remember?
We have gone back to church, and I am trying to mend fences with both of my boys but am starting to get comfortable with my new situation. I have someone who cares for me and will stand by me. She also is training for a new job. Our financial life is a mess now but now that she is moved in there will be much less driving to her apt 34 miles away. That should ease the stress and save a ton of money.
I also have something called intimacy in my life again. I didn't think it was possible for two people to get as close as we are ever, much less in a few months. Being older makes a huge difference that few people can realize. We have both taken our lumps in life but instead of expecting each other to be "the answer" for each other we realize that we can't be that person to each other. It is a trap few people escape. I told her right up front I will no longer put on my red cape and try to solve everyone's problems. I will not put such expectations on her either. We are just looking for someone who has the will and the capacity to stand by the other when times get rough.
We are just simple people with simple, reasonable expectations of each other. The results of this understanding are incredible! The level of trust and desire for each other is off the charts!!! We know we will have our troubles and will let each other down but we are both willing to talk things out and work through things. That has been completely absent in my life for many, many years. I am so glad it is back. I now have the basis to rebuild.
OmyTVC15 OmyTVC15
51-55, M
11 Responses Aug 8, 2012

This is SUCH a wonderful story! I'm so very happy for you and so impressed by your willingness to stand by your rights and needs, in the face of the opposition. One of the great boons of aging is that we care less and less what others think!!<br />
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You and your new love deservethe ultimate of happiness. Baz and I have found that much of our joint happiness comes fromsimply sharing the most mundane aspects of life with a person at your side whom you KNOW is "on your side". That brings a level of comfort that is beyond measure in terms of peace and happiness.<br />
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Long may you and your love enjoy your relationship - and may your STBX and her lawyer get their "Come uppances" in court!! {{{Hugs}}}

Thank you so much I sent this story to a friend of mine as sort of an update and she wanted me to try to save my marriage. I have posted an edited response to her on EP.

I am proud of you.

Thanks Ron, coming from you that means a great deal to me.

Well, to me you sound very sane, normal, and so you will do well. You really will..Your a practical person and will somehow get your footing and financial stability back. <br />
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I am not fond of your attorney. I only say that because instead of harping at you to be about him using his energy to harp at your STBX... and her attorney, about her unreasonable fianacial demands that they are making..<br />
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. I Don't know what else to say, except i know that if I were you, I would be sorely tempted to demand the same #***#**# $70% compensation that they were asking from you....It is an insane situation. It really is.

Hmmm.... I AM happy for you. But I'm, by nature, cautious. I worry that making the decision to move in a recently-found love against the advice of counsel will backfire financially at a time when you can ill afford it. At our ages, a sensible approach to money matters is pretty critical. Past personal and anecdotal experience has taught me that initial infatuation is easily mistaken for love. I sincerely hope your new relationship will flourish. <br />
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I just don't want you to end up in a situation where things don't work out as anticipated and you have to evict an unhappy tenant (some states make this tough) - who by your accounting above "needs a place to stay" (why? is there a $$ issue there as well?!), while bearing the (financial) consequences of flagrant infidelity (some courts will really stick it to you). Man oh man, you could be one unhappy camper. <br />
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I guess what I'm saying is: you're taking a HUGE gamble m'man. I know the payoff is worth it, I just hope you get it --or that gambling debt's gonna be a MOTHER.

Oh Faery -- I don't mean morally, I meant legally. In most states, as long as you're still legally married (which includes separation), dating = infidelity and can cause headaches in divorce court!

Seems you both understand that a person can not and is not responsible for 'making you happy'. Thats a task one needs to do themselves. To have someone walk with you for company is of course a bonus. Good for you!

Hi sunshine. <br />
I am so happy, that you got what you wanted in life. <br />
It´s hard to adapt to new changes, but you did a good job. <br />
All the best in the future! <br />
Be confident and strong because you will need on your journey. <br />
Hugs Marin.

LOVE...<br />
Warmed my lilheart...<br />
congrats!!<br />
joyinthejourney, clg

Good for you !!^^

im happy for you ....

I think this is a very good attitude and I'm sorry your divorce is dragging out so long. The judge won't agree to most of your money going to her. Some ex's can be very vindictive and I know what you mean about things dragging out. I want to leave here but i've been waiting for my disability hearing and I finally got it. This month I will have the hearing and then the mri and then the judge will decide but its taking so long!<br />
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I can't wait to leave here. He drinks and still sleeps on the sofa but I get my strength from God and I have to say I'm doing okay. I only hope I will find someone as you did and yes, age can be a factor as I'm not as young but I am still attractive and fun to be around. I haven't had fun in a very long time. I just went to visit my mom and brother in the desert and it was good to get away. Hopefully I will be about to leave soon. I am happy that you found someone and your expectations seem reasonable to me. Good for you.

I wish you much happiness. You deserve it. Please keep in touch.

Awww. That is so sad to hear.
Be strong and believe in yourself.
Take God with you, where you go,because he loves you and cares about you.
Take care
- Marin.

"Being older makes a huge difference that few people can realize. "<br />
Yep, if we're lucky, we get a bit wiser as we get older. <br />
Happy for you about the areas of your life that are improving. : )

Thanks for your kind comments. I am through worrying about everythig about the divorce. My wife is so mentally ill she would hate me no matter what i do. I am just going to enjoy my new love and try to enjoy life!!

yayyyyy!!!! And the crowds go wild....