Everything Is Different Now
2008 was a year that saw alot of changes in my life. My wife passed away in July we had been married for over 23 years, and she was my best friend for 27 years. We had three children 2 boys, 18 and 22, and a daughter who is 20. My oldest was going to the local community college the last couple years graduated and was going away to school. My daughter has been away at school the last couple years, and my youngest graduated from HS in June and planned on going away.
So when September came all my kids left for school. Leaving me at home with our dog (who I love alot). So when I say I am starting over - I am now alone most of the time, minus some weekends and other visits here and there (right now they are all home for Christmas which was very nice). Now though I looking at them as visiting. I know they will never really "live here" like they once did. Its a big change and it is definitely not all bad. While I love my kids I am also very proud of how they turned out and part of that is being proud, hard working, loving, caring, independent, and confident people. Of course that naturally means they will all be off on their own in the not to distance future. I am proud of them and I know my wife was proud of them. So naturally I will eventually end up without any kids in the house. As long as they still visit I am cool with that.
So it is a new year, new challenges, new firsts for me, and I know it is time to embrace the new path that has been laid before me and accept that I am starting over and that is just the way it is - I can remember the past, but I can't relive it, and I refuse to be "stuck" in it. Change happens, sometimes it really hurts '08 was one of the painful years, '09 will be better I know it