Rebuilding a Life
I just left a sexless marriage which had me entangled for almost 7 years. It was a quagmire from beginning to end, and I only discovered what a truly bad idea the wedding was after said wedding was over.
I ended up moving back home. I have been here two weeks.
In a lot of ways, it is like I never left. I feel like myself again. I miss my friends in the place I left, but I don't miss the place itself. It was strange to me the entire time I lived there. I suppose it was partly culture shock and partly simple dislike. There is NO city anywhere that I would rather live in than the one I am from.
They have had a lot of changes here in the past 9 years, so I am still learning the new highways and being surprised about which store moved or expanded where. On the flip-side of that, I get to LIVE HERE in the town that has my favorite pancakes since childhood, the home organization store on which I have always relied, and the perennial hangouts and favorite landmarks. I know where to go to find home lighting, stationery, garden plants, fr
If I take it down to the brass tacks, there two things that have changed in nine years. One, I have my degree and I will be working in my field here in about a month. That is going to be strange because the general population here is so different from where i came from. And two, I have a daughter.
During the times I could think that the preceding years have just been a nightmare from which I am finally waking, the baby kicks my seat or makes some comment from the backseat (lately it's, "Mommy, I'm frustrated," or, "I want THAT toy....Mama..." (Whole sentences now, beginning about a week ago)). How could I look on those years as a waste or a nightmare when they brought her into my life?
The new place is slowly coming together. It is comfortable, pretty, and quiet. I'm hoping it won't be too long before I get to show it to someone special.