It Crept Up On Me

They say that this period in a woman's life is an opportunity to embrace a "new freedom" !    

I'm still coming to terms with my 13 year old daughter wanting to go to school in the city ( some 250 km from home).
I have total confidence in the school she is attending. Their academic record is flawless and they provide so many additional courses for young ladies, she could never achieve this level at a regional high school.

Her choice to live with my parents rather than take on life as a boarder at school has definitely eased the separation. She has doting grandparents, and frankly they are better at parenting than me at this time!   She comes home to the farm every 2nd weekend and school vacations, and Josh and I go to Melbourne on the alternate weekends.

Problem now, Josh has requested a boys school next year, and my parents have done an awesome job vetting schools and organising an enrolment for next year.   Josh, fortunately for him, is a good scholar and was welcomed at several schools.  An application for enrolment at a good school this late in the year is usually met with disapproving looks from all, but his academic record along with the fact he is a regional student helped the process.   I am also positive my father ( a former government diplomat) employed some of his former skills and *convinced* them taking Josh would be in *Their* interest !!!!

So I have one daughter off to ladies college for 6 years and next year my son embarks on an education in an exclusive boy's school.  Tobias would have been a proud dad !  

Me, I'm a weeping mess as MY parents take over parenting my children.  They were always better at it than me, and I just don't cope with *single parenting*. I take my hat off to all you singles out there who parent daily regardless.  It is an enormous job and thoroughly exhausting.  How do you do it?

I never realised that I relied on Tobias so much.  He was my anchor !

My friend, Lorraine and I are looking at a whole range of new hobbies and volunteer work to fill our days meaningfully.   

Meanwhile, I still have the farm to manage and Josh for another 6 months.
NaomiBGand2chn NaomiBGand2chn
41-45, F
11 Responses Jul 27, 2010

LoL, I'm not sure how I would cope if they stayed home in their 20's......maybe the cooking is just TOO good to leave.

I have two in their 20's still at home, and I can hardly wait for them to move out. lol

Actually it has been a bit of time since I wrote this story, and Mewald you are right, I am seeing beyond the saddness and embracing the blessings for both me AND the children. Strange thing is that the grandparents ALSO see it as a blessing ! Just when you think they would be enjoying the peace of retirement !!!

This will be a great adventure for the kids, and it will give you a little break from demands. This might also help you through your greving process. Sad things happen in our lives, but life goes on. There continues to be joy and beauty in life. **HUGS**

thank you iwantogrowmyown. for your kind words<br />
<br />
again another perspective I hadn't considered. The past 12 months have seen more changes to my life than the previous 42

zall1rog, your comments are so kind and have given me another perspective, thank you

Thank you everyone for your love and support, I deeply appreciate it

Don't worry Naomi, the *girls* have lots of lunches and shopping trips planned for you !

You are a bit young to have to be going through this at the same time you are still grieving the death of your husband. I put a comforting arm around you.

Sounds like your children have some excellent opportunities ahead of them.

Alone can be a very lonely place, but realise that you are only a short drive away, and your children are being cared for by the very people who raised you.... so they are in safe hands.<br />
<br />
Volunteer work may be the answer to filling that *hole* in your heart at this time. It can be very rewarding.