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Can We Be Friends?

I met a guy who was younger than me but we hit it off really well .we chatted everyday for a few hours and would text at lunch times. We told each other things we'd never shared with anyone else and acted as support for each other. It was wonderful! I had finally found a friend who I trusted and who enjoyed being with me.

Things were going great! We'd meet up occasionally for a meal or a drink. It was a cool friendship. We went out once and met some of his friends and then BANG! Suddenly he stopped communicating! Nothing for over a week! In the end I sent a text saying whatever I'd done to upset him I was sorry...cos of course I must have done something wrong! He keeps swearing I've done nothing wrong. He told me I couldn't expect that we'd be in contact everyday for ever. I didn't but I had thought we'd transition! The kicker is it was alwys him who initiated contact! I didn't want to push things so I let him lead!

Since he won't tell me the truth I make up my own stories. I think his friends told him I was some kind of cougar or something. The funny thing is I would never have thought about him that way...until recently! When he went weird it was purely devastation about losing my friend but now....I realise I am devastated about never taking that next step. I also wonder if he was starting to feel the same way and it scared him.

So I decided to try to move on. He wasn't replyin gto my texts until the next day even if I was replying to one he had just sent. I decided that I didn't need this juvenile behaviour in my life and since he rarely contacted me I figured it would be easy. So I stopped texting. Two days later he sends a friendly text like nothing had happened. I took my time replying and the usual behaviour started again.

The trouble is I can't take that final step. I can't just say it ends now. I can't ignore a text from him and yesterday he popped up in a chat window....didn't say much but I'm just confused. I'm still trying to get over the loss of my best friend and the loss of a possible boyfriend. I read all the advice and I just don't want to follow it. I would rather have the crumbs he throws than nothing. I am heartbroken.

OvaOl OvaOl 41-45 2 Responses Aug 22, 2009

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I strongly believe that you can find someone 10x better that someone who "throws crumbs at you" whenever he feels like talking to you.. its obvious that he can't handle a relationship and it will just go nowhere. The only reason he's doing this is because you're feeding into it and he knows that he's got you. you're best move would to not text him back and see how he reacts after that & see if he really cares enough to fight for it or not.

#1 problem: I met a guy who was younger than me... <br />
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it's my experience that younger guys are great for sex and companionship for a limited time, but not much else. they are like children that u sleep with. he was probably with some else those two days and knew that he could call u after wards cause he knows how desperate u are: In the end I sent a text saying whatever I'd done to upset him I was sorry...cos of course I must have done something wrong! I would rather have the crumbs he throws than nothing. I am heartbroken.<br />
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child please... do not settle. there are too many men out there. once u reveal u care it all goes down hill. i suggest u cut him off and find a new young thing to play with and keep ur feelings in check. go to a counselor for ur other issues... he's not acting very friendly, now is he?<br />
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cut the kid and enjoy ur life... good luck