Post

Not A Day Goes By That I Don't Miss You....

Last year, was a particualry trying year, and we're still reeling from everything that happened. It started in November of  2009, we lost my mothers brother Glen, who had won his battle while colon cancer in 2008, but Thanksgiving 2009, he laid down on the couch and had a massive heart attack. He was gone within 5 minutes. I never knew him that well, but I knew enough of him to be hurt.

January 3rd of 2010, my fathers brother, Phillip passed away. He was 34 years old, he was more like a brother to me than anything. When my dad didn't have anything else to do with me, he stepped up, and made sure I had everything I needed. He helped me buy my first car, he taught me to ride a horse (which I hate). LOL. But he loved it. I stayed alot with him and his girlfriend. He was just all around a great guy. He developed a drug problem in 2008 after my dad had fired him from his job, and he and his wife divorced. I personally, with the help of my grandma did everything in our power to help him kick the habit, after a near fatal overdose in Dec. of 2008 he stopped. But 2009 took his harsh toll on him, he was working a good job, and by a freak accident broke every bone in his hand, and had to over 80 stitches.. I assume, that this is when he started abusing prescription drugs again. He lost his truck, his farm, and had only weeks left in his house.. On Jan. 3rd, he was found on his couch, barely breathing, and he wouldn't come to. He was hooked up on life support for 2 days, before the doctor said there was no chance. He died of an overdose, it's unclear if it was purposely or accidently, But I do know that we miss everyday. And not a day goes by that I don't think about him.

May 15th of 2010, we got a phonecall from my moms sister, telling us that he daughters guy friend had called her and told her that he had shot her daughter, and that she needed to call 911. At first, she was in shock and thought it was a joke, but called 911 anyway and went to his house. Sure enough, My beautiful cousin Stacy, was laying in the drive way, with a shotgun blast to the stomach. She was awake when my aunt and neighbor arrived, and told her mom not to look, and told the neighbor to make sure her baby was taken care of.  She was health netted out and lived for 62 minutes. They lost her in surgery. The shotgun blast cut her in half. The guy that shot her killed himself soon after he called my aunt. Stacy was 31, and has a 5 year old daughter. She was so beautiful and loved. And she had one of the best personalities anyone could ever have. What's one of the toughest things about this, is that 10 years to the day, we lost her sister who was 24 during child birth. Both of them are thought about everyday, and missed like crazy. Her daughter says that everytime she see a butterfly it's her mommy checking up on her. It's nice to think of it that way. The day of the funeral, we were standing graveside, and beautiful butterfly landed on her daughters shoulder and stayed there until we left. It's still unclear why, but we know that her shoes were in the house, and when she was found she had one foot in her car. We all assumed he did it because he was an older man, who gave her things, and he wanted to be more than friends and she didn't. The day that she died. He told her that if she came up there one last time that she would never have to come again.

May 16th of 2010, we found out that my mothers brother Bobby, had cancer. He fought it up until September 15th of 2010. He put up a good fight. The doctors told him that he wouldn't make it as long as he did. He was 62. He was more of a grandfather to me, than a uncle. I never knew my moms dad, and when my moms dad passed, Uncle Bobby took over the daddy role. He was so kind hearted and he made sure he never hurt anyones feelings, and he thought he did for a second he would apologize. He was treated so bad by his wife, and nephews who lived with him. They stole his medicine, he wasn't allowed out of his bedroom. They just really treated him awful when he got sick, but we couldn't do much about it because he was competent and in his right mind. He didn't wanna hurt them. It's one of the hardest things that we've had to come to terms with. We tried so hard to get him to live with us, but he wanted to be home. I love him so much, and i miss him. In the summertime, when he would drive by our house if we were out, he'd always give us the I Love You sign. The last time he went by, he was in an ambulance, and it may sound silly, but he made the ambulance drivers slow down, and give us the I Love You sign for him. I miss that. I miss seeing him go by.. I miss him coming in and raiding our snack cabinet. I just miss everything.

It's been very hard. They all had a special place in my heart, and not a day goes by that I don't miss or think about any of them. I'm terrified that i'm going to forget their voices, they had such unique voices. I don't know. I was just missing everyone tonight. And I hope that they all know that I love them more than anything.. But I think they do. We're a very loving family and insist on saying I love You everytime someone leaves. I'm thankful for that. If I wouldn't have told them.. I'd regret it everyday. Because I do sometimes regret not saying certain things to them.
Damn it, I miss the hell outta them.
beautifulsadness2 beautifulsadness2 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 13, 2011

Your Response

Cancel

I'm so sorry for all your losses. You've been through hell and you'll continue going through hell for some time. That's the way death is.

My grandfather, uncle and parents were killed before I was five. I remember them though I can't always hear my mothers voice inside, I can feel it in my heart; I can feel her singing to me. You might want to write abut them, to describe their voices. I find that helps keep them fresh in my mind and heart.

I will pray for your healing and that your memory of them remains strong. God bless you.

i am very sorry for your loss. i know it is not comforting now, but atleast you had these wonderful and loving people in your life even for just a while. they instilled that in you and you sound like a wonderful person

I completely understand, I also have lost 3 people this year...peace and love

I'm certainly glad I'm not related to you.