It Needs To Be A Conscious EffortI forget sometimes that I still have a lot of growing to do. Or, I focus so intently on one area, that I slip back into old habits in other areas.
Recently, I've slipped into trying to be someone I'm not for the sake of someone else. This is a reoccurring theme in my life. You would think I would start seeing the signs, but I don't. It takes me by surprise that I've let myself be defined or controlled by someone else's wishes. In an effort to make someone else happy, I've subjected myself to trying to change, failing, and failing to meet expectations that I helped to create.
Now I'm trying to figure out how to undo what I've done. I need my independence back, but would like to not shatter relationships in getting what I need.
Part of my growth process has always involved finding my path, my way, and not succumbing to others' idea of "right." It continues to be something I need to consciously work towards.