A Month Ago We Broke Up.

I love her still have feelings for her yet she wont even talk to me. I never lied to her and pissed her off by **** talking her when she dumped me. She wanted me back and I showed her the forum where I talked about it. Sure we were only together for two months but she is my first love who I lost my cherry to. So its really hard getting over it. We both are military shes Army and I am Air Force. She left me for another dude and almost had sex with him but only got hickies. I treated her like crap on the way out to reconcile with her and knew she'd just do that again to me. We tried making up but I kept interrogating her about this guy. She didnt like it and kicked me out because I was depressed. Threatened to call the MPs on me if I ever came back too. I never threatened her at all either so yeah it sucks. I dunno why I still care for this person and have feelings for her. I wrote her a letter of apology and an email and she just wants to be left alone... My mind says forget her yet my heart is crazy  and dumb! I want to move on and find someone else who wont dump me for working 12 hours for two weeks in a row and find "someone" better. I just dont know why my feelings are so true for this one. Atleast I am no longer depressed or crying. However this thanksgiving was depressing because she was supposed to be around for it. Its been tough but atleast I am SLOWLY getting better and its no longer consuming my life!

johnnyjoe87 johnnyjoe87
22-25, M
1 Response Nov 30, 2009

That sounds like it was really difficult. The good thing is that you are attempting to move forward with your life. I think it's good you wrote an apology letter to her, but also forgive herself for any mistakes you might have made during the relationship. I think relationships are meant to teach us, so that we are more ready to treat the right person better. I wish you the best.

thanks I had trouble moving on from that one... I had a 11 month relationship since then but its ended 9 months ago. I never truely fell for her or gave her my heart. (I was so traumatized from that relationship I wrote about here) I was heart broke again back in August which is not that long ago but moved on. Its all you can do... relationships to help us learn about ourselves and how to not make mistakes again. When we our hearts are broken its not unusual to say hurtful things. Its a horrible emotional pain but its part of love and loving. Just the way it is. I know I will find a lover again. I dont feel lonely nor depressed because I know in time it will happen again. I don't see the point in hooking up... I like to have it all! I miss having a lover but look forward to when I find her. I always do... im sure my next relationship will be great!

she actually married the rebound guy after me lol... I discovered...