No Fairy Tale Ending

Uh what relief to write this to tell somebody what's going on I'm in love with my ex husband I meet him when I was 17 he was 21 we married he went to jail to 3 yrs later I waited faithfully till the last year when I left him for another man not because I didn't love him but because I was tired of being alone for 5 yrs then I had two children with this other man by the time my husband got released willing to take me back I refused for obvious reasons we divorce just 3 yes ago I guess he was hanging on it has now been a total of 8 yrs we been separated n he is now back in prison we have a son together we remain friends but I'm still in love with him and he the same however I cnt bring myself to leave the other man I left him for and I'm not sure why but I dnt love him he is a good man but my heart belongs to my ex always has since I meet him help any advice PS confused