Reunited?

25 years ago I married my husband. We were young and passionate but sadly he did not cope well with married life (long story) and left me within 2 years of us marrying. I was devastated and it took me a long time to get over it. I eventually met a man with whom I have been in a relationship for 15 years. He is very kind and safe and reliable, but I don't feel a real chemistry between us and we do not have much in the way of shared interests or dreams. To my absolute surprise 2 years ago my ex-husband contacted me through Friends Reunited, and after a number of email conversations I discovered the real reasons for him leaving me all those years ago. It was very sad and he said he had been wanting to contact me for a long time, to tell me how much he regretted what he did and the hurt he had caused me. I found myself wanting to forgive him . After many emails telling each other about our lives, we finally agreed to meet, and this was so emotional I thought my heart would burst. He said he had thought of me so often over the years, and we both realised the love we had shared years ago was very much alive. We have met on a number of occasions since, and have become intimate. These times we have met have been the most perfect experiences imaginable. It is complicated because he is married (with three children ages 17,20 and 22) and thinks the world of his children and does not want to break up his family life. I am living with my partner (no children), and have no wish to cause hurt to him - I never dreamt that I would be unfaithful. My ex-husband and I want to keep each other very close in our lives, but this is so hard to do when other people's happiness is also at stake. Nobody knows we are in touch - my family would be very shocked as they think that my relationship is stable and that my partner is dependable and a good man. Common sense tells me I should let my ex-husband go and focus on mending my relationship with my partner. But I have never felt emotion like I do with my ex-husband - he was my first real love and retains that special place in my heart. And I know it is the same with him. I fear there is no easy answer to my dilemma but if it all ended tomorrow I would have no regrets at all as he brings nothing but joy into my life.
mytruelove mytruelove
46-50
6 Responses Feb 20, 2009

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Don't be a cheater... It is devastating and only bad karma will fall on you. What makes you think any good will come from ruining the lives of others?

If you couldn't make it through the first time what makes you think you can this time? It sounds like you have jumped into something new without working through the old stuff. If the old stuff has not arrived into your new relationship yet it will at some point. That stuff does not go away on its own. As for the idea of cheatting thats just dumb!! You both need to grow a pair and either be with eachother out in the open or not. Hiding behind the fact that you don't want to hurt anyone is crazy, you guys are already hurting everyone so either be together or don't, but don't take the back door outside and pretend your actions aren't!!<br />
Good luck you have some very hard choices to make.

dont even go there. ist exiting cos its new and secret. it will only lead to heartache.

Sounds like you're really in love with him. I hope you don't get hurt again.

Sounds like the ex is having the best of both worlds......and so are you.