I Always Identify With Songs.

i always try to find songs that i can identify with, and that resonate with my feelings/emotions perfectly(it kinda makes me feel like i have a sort of "personal soundtrack") anywho, this song, by---don't make fun of me for this---the Backstreet Boys, just matches perfectly with how i feel. it talks about all of the feelings and thoughts that i have and am ashamed of having. It's kind of "the pathetic loser anthem" for guys like me who just can't get over the past.......and love, guys like me who continue to love something....or someone....who they no longer can have..............you would think my heart would get tired of holding onto something that my brain knows isn't there, i know i'm holding on to something that isn't tangible and probably never existed to begin with. Yet.................how can i stop? i miss it when my heart and mind were in sync, but that was a long time ago, it's been a while, about 7 months, but my heart still aches........time is a slow-healer of wounds, i'm personally not entirely convinced it heals at all. i feel as tho the only reason it ever got such a reputation is that practice takes time, and it takes practice to forget AND supress AND bury the feelings that otherwise could never be forgotten. emotions so strong can never completely fade i don't think...........anyway here's the song that i currently can relate to at the moment
 

"Just Want You To Know"

Looking at your picture from when we first met
You gave me a smile that I could never forget
And nothing I could do could protect me from you that night

Wrapped around your finger, always on my mind
The days would blend 'cause we stayed up all night
Yeah, you and I were everything, everything to me

I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

All the doors are closing I'm tryin' to move ahead
And deep inside I wish it's me instead
My dreams are empty from the day, the day you slipped away

I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

That since I lost you, I lost myself
No I can't fake it, there's no one else

I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know


:/

i watched moulin rouge, for the first time in a while last night, i used to watch it every day, about 5 or 6 months ago i used to watch it several times a day........"it's about love, overcoming all obstacles" i crave such a love, one that i won't have to worry and fret over each small bump on the road, and fear that it will upset the entire foundation of a relationship and cause it to come crashing down like a house of cards. real love wouldn't be like this (i don't doubt my side of the affection) by REAL love i mean mutual affection; true, honest mutual affection. it's what i dream about.............of course my fantasies about it have me sharing it with the wrong person, one who is no longer even here. :/ i'll find the right person one day...............i hope............i can only hope
deadlove deadlove
18-21, M
Jul 28, 2010