What Do I Deal With First?

Overwhelmed is an understatement!

I have to see my primary care physician this week. I'm not looking forward to the appointment. She practices "assembly-line medicine", get as many patients in and out of the office in as short a time as possible. I typically wait a minimum of an hour to even get into an exam room, then sit there about half an hour before she comes in. She spends all of about 15 min. with me before offering me a prescription and sending me on my way.

This visit, she's following up on the blood pressure and fluid medication she put me on. I need to disrupt her plans a bit and talk to her about a few concerns I have. The first being a severe burn on my ankle and heel. I dropped a bowl of boiling spaghetti sauce down my leg and since my ankle was exposed, I have blisters there. I've been draining the blisters without tearing the skin off, but they keep filling up and where they are on my foot prevents me from wearing shoes. I really need her to have a look at the blisters to see if everything is okay or if there is anything else I could be doing to speed healing.

I've also been having a lot of female problems. I know that menopause has been creeping up on me for some time. Mother Nature recently visited for more than two months solid (what nerve she has!) and I've noticed that my hormones are completely out of whack when she's visiting. I'm emotional to the point of tears if someone looks at me the wrong way, I'm having a lot of trouble forgetting things and I'm dropping things quite a bit.

The heat and humidity have really been bothering me, as I'm terribly short of breath. I know that she diagnosed me with winter asthma a few years back, but I'm experiencing symptoms in the summer now. I need to talk to her about all these things. I'm dreading this appointment.

Tomorrow morning, my son's job coach is coming to the house to 'have a meeting' with me. I find it ironic, since I was asking for a meeting with her and her supervisor to talk about where we are going with the program, how my son is doing, how we are going to schedule his hours, seeing as how the new fiscal year caused some changes to his service approval. They were resistant to a meeting, until I talked to the supervisor more than once about my concerns, but now, it appears, the job coach is calling a meeting with me, without her supervisor. I really think they prefer to have the 'upper hand', to be 'in control' and didn't appreciate it when I was aggressively advocating for my son.

I spoke to the job coach the other day at length and she apologized to me and my son regarding a series of miscommunications as a result of the reduction in his hours of service. To be honest, I don't want to have her in my home tomorrow. I'm not in the right state of mind right now to deal with it.

I still have to complete the 'new hire' paperwork with the back-up habilitation aide we hired for my son. She was supposed to come over on Friday morning to work on it with me, but called to say she had a medical situation and couldn't keep our appointment. I told her to get well and let me know this week when she's available so we can do it then. This caused us to have to reschedule with the primary aide, as we had scheduled a day for the back-up and my son to go out together, to get acquainted.

It just seems like everything is in a state of flux.

The previous aide was a friend of mine who told me she agreed she wasn't right for the position. She technically resigned so we could hire someone else. She told me that losing the position wouldn't effect our friendship, but it's been two weeks and she's not been over to visit, not called, at all.

This weekend, I was so stressed by my husband. There was so much that needed to be done, I was struggling while my husband sat in his recliner watching television or playing video games. I hurt myself while collecting and bagging trash to go outside. After I cleaned up, he ran an errand and came home to drop everything he brought on the counter, the wrappings, the bag, etc. He emptied a juice container and left it sit on the counter, he opened a can of soup for my son and left it sit on the counter. I spent time, again and again over the weekend re-cleaning everything I'd already done.

I'm not feeling well at all today. I'm having hot flashes, I have a migraine headache. I cooked Sunday dinner for my family and we had our Godson over to eat because his mother doesn't cook meals.

I feel disconnected today. I can't organize my thoughts, I feel like I'm running in circles. There's so much to get done before this job coach comes to the house at 8:00 tomorrow morning, I'm so stressed over having to go over things with her yet again. I still have to straighten up the kitchen and get dinner dishes taken care of and I have to pack my husband's lunch for tomorrow. In the morning I have to take Kodiak for a walk before the job coach comes so we can return to the house before the heat and humidity are too much for him or I to handle.

What do I deal with first?
rollingwithhusky rollingwithhusky
46-50, F
6 Responses Jul 11, 2010

Souli,<br />
the former aide and friend called me just about a week ago. She said, "I'm not mad at you.".... all I could think was 'gee, that's big of you'. I've not seen her or spoken to her again since then. She lets all her calls go to her answering machine so she can screen her calls and she never calls back. I think perhaps it's a turning point for us more toward the friendship fading away. *shrugs*<br />
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I have a page called "Chirpings from the Nest" at http://rgmaines.wordpress.com where a lot more of the details are explained, as I only just came here a short time ago, so things sort of started in mid-insanity. LOL Thanks for following along. :)

Lorraine, thanks for the info. The blisters are gone and the skin dried up, some of it has rubbed off, even the darkened skin around the blistered area is coming off. I've asked my doctor repeatedly if there's anything she can do to help me with the terrible female symptoms I have. She's told me no. Even now, with the hot flashes, emotional mood swings, depression, cramps, etc... she told me no. She said she prefers not to 'medicate'. I guess that means she prefers women suffer needlessly. Yes I'm a bit bitter. LOL<br />
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BD, <br />
I've heard of the corricidan BP. Maybe I'm going to have to get some and try it. I hear ya about the price of prescriptions. I don't have prescription coverage, so it all has to come out of my pocket. This is why I stopped taking all the medications I'd been prescribed. <br />
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My son is high functioning, as FXS goes. It's an umbrella diagnosis, like Autism has become.... it has so many sub diagnoses, symptoms, etc. Not all of what you'll read about it applies to my son. <br />
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As for the housekeeping, I've really learned to accept things I never thought I could, I have to understand that not everyone is as conscientious about it as I am, but there has to be some effort given. <br />
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I agree with you, by the way, that for every med. I've taken to help one issue, it's caused at least one other issue. It's a vicious cycle. <br />
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Thanks for understanding and offering suggestions and your own stories. It really helps!

I think ...corricidan ? not sure of the spelling but they make a BP friendly decongestant. Even though my BP is high, I have to take the allegra D during most of the year or I get chronic sinus infections. The allerga has not seemed to effect the BP for me. I always have the problem of what I need for one disorder negatively impacts a different disorder. I've pretty much thrown up the white flag and just do what I do.<br />
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It would be nice to find a good doctor but I have no insurance whatsoever and can't even get medicaid so it's usually the poor clinics for me. My prescriptions cost around 600 a month which is exactly the amount of the SSI they just took away from me.<br />
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I looked up fragile X syndrome. Interesting. My youngest daughter has Asperger's but can function well in many areas. She's not very personable however so I'm hoping she will have a business of her own one day. I'd like to meet your son :o) <br />
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I'm not a perfectionist anymore. Just some things. I've had to get used to not being able to keep my house clean. It annoys the heck out me LOL. When I was younger, I was a slob. My mother had a special cleaning day every week and on that day she would drink, do drugs, and be abusive. I learned to associate cleaning with a negative atmosphere so hence the slob in me. Later though, I became a clean freak but i can't clean if anyone is watching me. Now I'm a good balance between slob and neat simply because due to my physical limitations I had to accept a mess. Especially with all the kids and foster kids I had. it does gnaw at me though LOL<br />
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Yes, I think it will all work out :o)

Hi.<br />
I lived life in frantic mode for 16 years as a single parent of a sick child. I would do superwoman mode until I had someone else look out for my son, and then I would simply sleep !<br />
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It has been some time now, but when I was going through menopause ( I was divorced and not in a relationship with anyone) my doc said "you don't need a period to know you are not pregnant do you?" then she gave me a tablet which switched everything off ! I took it for one month then a period returned 11 months later, I went for tests, all ok. so she gave me the tablets again.... that was 7 years ago.....never saw mother nature again! What a relief....no flashes, mood swings, tears, or pain.<br />
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The blisters on your foot are nature's way of surrounding the wound with fluid to protect the area whilst healing. Sounds like you really needed to go to the hospital when it happened though. There is a clear solution which they apply to the area which seals the would and protects against infection, which is a real danger if you keep draining the blisters.<br />
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Spiritually, your son is a special soul given a *disability* to protect him from the adversary who cannot touch him ! You are a very special person to have been given the care of such a soul whilst here on this earth. When his journey here is complete, he will return immediately to our Heavenly Father for eternity.<br />
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You will be abundantly blessed for caring for him<br />
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huggssssssssssssss<br />
Lorraine

You've got it, exactly! "So many things to deal with, not enough time or health or energy. One little thing can throw off your whole schedule and put you further behind."<br />
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Let's see.... there is a good doctor I was just referred to by a friend. I haven't set up an appointment with her yet, she is still taking new patients, because I knew I had this appointment scheduled. My insurance is an issue right now, as I'm paying down my deductible. UGH! There are some good programs here, please don't think they are all like the ones I'm talking about here. I've had some very good therapy, my son and I have had very good psychiatrists and I've used a couple very good chiropractors in the area. <br />
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My son's disability is Fragile X Syndrome. This is a chromosomal disorder that causes cognitive disabilities, developmental delays, speech delays, learning delays, etc. He is going to be 20 this December. He has an unspecified anxiety disorder as well. He's so painfully shy. <br />
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I have been known to do just what you do, either go into Super Woman mode or collapse in tears and depression. Lately, the pain has been so significant, I simply can't switch to super woman mode. <br />
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It doesn't help that I'm a fanatic/perfectionist when it comes to a clean house. I was literally beaten growing up for not doing housework 'right', so it's been beaten into my head that there is a way to do things, one way and if it's not done that way it's wrong. It's really hard to work all day to get things done and do them thoroughly, only to have someone simply destroy everything you've done. Like you, I'm lucky if I get to see things cleaned up for a total of 1/2 hour before my hubby decides to 'redecorate'. LOL<br />
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Oh, as for the allegraD, I can't take anything with a decongestant. Apparently, decongestants can cause serious problems for people with high blood pressure.<br />
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I'll be glad when I have my power chair back, I'll also be glad (though the income is nice) when my husband's overtime is over and he can be home on a regular schedule again, then he won't be so tired and won't feel he's doing too much. <br />
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We'll figure things out... I'm certain of this. :)

Yeeeeup. I know how you feel. Hey when the blistering stops and you develop a new skin, get some Dr. Jeanette Graf copper/collagen infusion. It's pricey, but it will eliminate scarring and speed the healing. The first few applications might sting a little but it's worth it. After you bathe, rub some of the gel onto the new skin of the wound and surrounding area. leave it on for 10 to 15 minutes. Wipe it off with a cloth or paper towel. then wear socks for a couple of hours. Then have some barefoot time.<br />
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For your breathing, use a/c in the summer and a dehumidifier in the fall/winter. You might also want to try some allegraD. It's an allergy/sinus med but it really helps the thick breathing thing. I've got it too. it's one thing I miss about North dakota. No thick breathing with humidity except for a couple of months in July and august.<br />
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So I take it you can't recommend a good doctor for me then ? LOL You are lucky. I get 5 minutes with the clinic doctor here, whomever it happens to be that day. Nurses who are so dumb that they ask what I am allergic to and when i answer " all opiates" they type " allopiates" into the computer and inform me there is no such drug. I am not kidding. My blood pressure problem is being completely ignored.<br />
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My BF is pretty good about helping out unless he's depressed. He is one of the rare guys that if he sees me doing garbage he jumps up and says " let me do that !". I have more of a problem with him letting me do things because he knows how badly I can hurt. That being said... he sucks at keeping things clean. I read the story in your blog about your hubby. Steve is the same way. For me it's a monumental feat if i can clean two rooms in one day. He will also come home and dump everything everywhere after I've spent the day cleaning. he does'nt mind clutter. he does'nt even notice it. He loves to cook...which is great...but he always does it right after I have cleaned up his last mess in the kitchen. I don't get to see the kitchen clean for more than 1/2 an hour. Sometimes I plead with him to just have a sandwich.<br />
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I'm so sorry about what you went through with the social providers for your son. it makes me nervous just thinking about dealing with those people. What, if it's ok to ask, is your son's disability ? uh... "differently abledness" ;o)<br />
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When I get overwhelmed...I either go into super woman mode or I shut down completely. I know you don't have that luxury. maybe I'll be able to help out on my good days. I'm moving to a dinky little place and winter is coming. I'll need something to do anyway or i'll go nuts.<br />
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So many things to deal with. not enough time or health or energy. One little thing can throw off your whole schedule and put you further behind. It's maddening.