I Thought Sharing Might Help :/

I always thought writing these kind of stuff is cheesy but today I could really use some advice or at least someone to listen. My life is a total mess at the moment, I am unhappy almost every second and I am afraid for the future. The last year was the worst year of my life and I thought maybe this one will be better, but its not. My grades in college are the lowest ever, I failed almost every exam, I don't know what to do with my life, I can't see myself in future and I never felt this alone. Don't get me wrong, I have love of my family and support of my boyfriend. Sometimes he is the only thing that makes me happy and he gives me hope, but I fear I am dragging him in my mess too. All of our friends left us, blame us for everything and seem to be happy without us. I was never friendless, but today no one is here to listen. I have 4 months of college to finish, but I am afraid I wont make it, I am afraid I will be jobless and the lack of support from my former friends is making things worse. Sometimes I feel that they are happier without us and that they laugh at our loneliness. I feel like the worst kind of people who deserve to be alone. I am unable to meet new people, because I cant trust people anymore, I don't feel comfortable among my colleges at college, I wish to move away and delete every connection to my city and people I used to care for. Last year was awful and I feel this one will be worse. I have a lot of things on my mind and for the first time I feel that the worry is suffocating me. Its like having a huge rock on my heart and chest. I don't want to make my parents and boyfriend worried but sometimes I cant hold my thoughts and sadness. I really don't know what is happening to me and I want to feel better but I really don't know how. I don't want any symphaty or " grow up " talks... I have fell to my rock bottom... Maybe it is stupid but writing this stuff down helps ....
CelinaC CelinaC
18-21
3 Responses Jan 6, 2013

Hey from what i read your focusing on your future too much, the future is what no one can predict you can only take it a day at a time and hope for the best in the future ahead. Ask god to stand by you as you journey towards your future ask him to hold you hand through the darkest days, and rejoice with you in the brightest of day. As for your frens i think your looking to them for support too much, frens dont make you, your life is in your hands and only you can decide what to make of it. Its like 10 virgin girls that are best frens discuss and decide to loose their virginity but when all is done each will have to face that moment alone, the point am trying to make is frens will always be around but only you can shape your destiny. Your failing your exam because your stress about things that can be put on hold. You have come this far to only have 4months to go so please for just focus on college and trust me believe in god for he and only he can shape your life to his desire. Nothing comes before its time. Job is out there but its a competitive world all you need to do is get the skills for interviewing and master in so that going on a interview will not be like a exam but instead a journey for best

Hey from what i read your focusing on your future too much, the future is what no one can predict you can only take it a day at a time and hope for the best in the future ahead. Ask god to stand by you as you journey towards your future ask him to hold you hand through the darkest days, and rejoice with you in the brightest of day. As for your frens i think your looking to them for support too much, frens dont make you, your life is in your hands and only you can decide what to make of it. Its like 10 virgin girls that are best frens discuss and decide to loose their virginity but when all is done each will have to face that moment alone, the point am trying to make is frens will always be around but only you can shape your destiny. Your failing your exam because your stress about things that can be put on hold. You have come this far to only have 4months to go so please for just focus on college and trust me believe in god for he and only he can shape your life to his desire. Nothing comes before its time. Job is out there but its a competitive world all you need to do is get the skills for interviewing and master in so that going on a interview will not be like a exam but instead a journey for best

Be thankful that you and your boyfriend have each other. Also, if you're soon to finish college then everybody will be moving on and going their seperate ways anyway right? I'm sure you'll make new friends when you're away from school. It's only 4in more month, just yry to focus on your studies so you should can start a whole new life. ;-)