I Am Stressed Out
Drive to work in reverse
Braid the hair in each nostril
Dance naked in front of your pets
Tatto “out-to-lunch” on your forehead
Blend every left-over in your fridge together
Pay your electric bill in smallest denomination coins
Make a list of “things to do” that you have already done
Make up a language and ask people in the street for directions
Jan 29 mini-marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out
When someone says “Have a nice day” reply that you have other plans
Leaf through National Geographic and draw underwear on all the natives
Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they are in jail
Send your doctor a bill for the time you’ve spent in his waiting room
Lie on your back eating celery, using your navel as a salt-dipper
Read a dictionary upside down and look for hidden messages
Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on the pot
Fill in your tax return in Roman numerals
Use Mastercard to pay Visacard
Polish your car with ear wax
Author Unknown
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