Too Intense.I feel like everything in my life is getting too difficult. I just had a bad back injury that cancelled my weekend plans and work has gotten as stressful as ever. I could deal with this better if my relationship with my boyfriend didn't feel like it was going downhill- but it is. I now understand how couples grow apart, life gets difficult and because stress is unavoidable, moods change. I'm noticing my boyfriend is getting more negative and stressed, same as I am, and it's effecting our love life. We relax together by cooking dinner and watching tv, but it isn't my idea of spending time.
I wish we had more energy from our stressful jobs to break the monotony of it all. In the beginning of our relationship we had so many hobbies that we would do together, but we're both so exausted after work it's like we have nothing left to offer each other... not even emotionally. I also used to have a lot of friends, but my boyfriend and I spend so much time together I never hung out with them so our friendships faded. (This is of course my fault for not keeping up the relationship).
He has no family and no close friends, so it's just him. I am his only real personal connection. This has put so much pressure on me to be his "everything". If I break up with him, he has no one-- literally. I feel like I'm chained to him forever out of guilt, which is all sorts of wrong. To know that a night I'm hanging out with someone is a night where he will be spending time by himself is awful.
The loneliness, the negativity, the stress...it's getting too intense. I love my boyfriend but I can't live like this. I know relationships are work, but it's too much work right now. How can I communicate this without it feeling like I am abandoning him to solitude?
I know he will fight to get me back, fight to keep me in his life because I've all he's got.