Depersonalization Or Enlightenmnet

For me, the difference between LSD and a disciplined meditation practice is that through meditation, you reach nothingness through compassion/wisdom. In my experience, LSD/peyote is more like violent upheaval which produces no benefits in the long run. Altering your mind can be dangerous. That is why those who are serious about meditation seek guidance from a trusted teacher/guru. If you want to find "god", I strongly suggest that you find a guide you trust (obvi. not someone just to follow blindly) and read his/her books or go to his/her center.

hey I'm going to something similar. please read anyone of the stories on my page and tell me what you think.



I'm just dying to know if meditation has caused me to become permanently derealized, or if this is only something that will pass. I've been experiencing derealization now for a little more than a year after one night of meditation where I was scared out of my ****. Nothing has been the same since. Emotionless, flatlined, with barely the motivation to do anything. Also adhedonia (complete lack of joy)

I'm just now beginning my journey and it's reassuring I can look at these comments you have made for reassurance if I fall astray...little did you guys know..2 years down the road some 20 year old kid will stumble across this thread and it would help bring stability to his life...thank you god bless and I'm a strong believer in things happen for a reason..thank you



Jordan

Greetings to Matt and FarOutMan:)

Much time has passed and I hope all is well in both your lives. We are all seekers and this makes us a minority comparatively.

Meditation is a spiritual journey and if you don't have like minded friends can somewhat be a lonely one. The type of meditation is plenty and can or may confuse interested parties. For me, the truth lies simply between our thoughts. We sit and observe the chaotic thoughts and try not to participate in them; after sometime, the mind gets tired and frequency of thoughts are reduced. This is the moment I look for; the space between the last and the next thought. If you focus on this space initially it'll last just for a few seconds but with practice it can last a lot longer. This space or void of nothingness sparks the meditative process. Things happen; you are on the right track; nothing bad can happen. The mind panics because of fear of the unknown and will try to cause panic attacks or anything to stop the process.



This journey cannot harm anyone, you will always be guided by the Universe; when thought ceases, all energy within the body will flow in the same direction, vibrations within the body will intensify, TRUST the Universe/God for Guidance and you will be protected. The experience is simply beautiful.



I wish all meditators a Blissful and Spiritual Experience.

Dear Matt,

Thank you very much for you inspiring comment, and advice, it is much appreciated!

I especilly find the video by Shinzen great. I have experienced both the good (last year) and evil twin (now) of enlightment (ref. his terminology), and of course is very interested how to get back on track again. The past six months has been very chaotic as complication from the past emerged, causing a very turbulent emotionally state, along with anxiety of what was happening. Things have stabilized now, and I feel that I can work more proactively with the depersonalized condition I am in. To comment on his speculations about why some (rarely) end in a depersonalized conditiond during meditation, instead of (like most others) advancing towards "enlightment", I have spoken to a Danish spiritual teacher who calls this codition "premature enligthment" and in another context noted that it is very important to know you self, before you pass your-self on to a higher spiritual level. I believe that self realization is an inevitable state prior to some higher state of conscioussness, and the realization of uncultivated (even unknown) complications can possiblily inflict this void or bardo state (Buddhism). If so only one self can resolve this, and of course the key to exit in the right direction lies within. This is the way I try to think about it, and I feel that I need to engage in my meditation practice again, I feel that it is the way back, and this has been enforced both by your comment and Shinzen's video.

I too feel a strong neccesscity of being completely honest to whatever feling emerges inside, and during the time where I havent meditated I have comtemplated on this which have had strong positive effects. Also, engaging in any sort of loving act - there is a great truth in that!

Anyway, that was also just some thoughts on the matter - thank you for the comment was the most important message;)

Best wishes

Simon

Sorry to hear of your predicament Simon, but glad to see you are actively searching for help.

If you can’t bring yourself to meditate properly then maybe try contemplating things and emotions. I couldn’t really bring myself to meditate so I contemplated on the emotions and panic I was feeling. I said deep down there is no fear as it is a mental construct (as it’s harmful to the body), so I can observe it as not being a part of me, we create our own realities. My nervous system was completely fried at times, shaking for days so I decided in sleep I don’t shake, so I might as well decide not to shake (to be honest it was a bit of a conscious controlling effort). Quriousity’s advice to laugh as much as I can and not suppress emotions was really helpful.



Love all you can!



Anything you do try do it with love and respect.

Try and notice the beauty and natural goodness of nature and people. I’m infatuated with how people are inherently good and nice, and people who are complete strangers do the nicest things. Try not to focus on the basis the people have for doing or saying stuff but rather the actions in themselves. Just even talking with people about simple non important things like music and stuff helps to reconnect. Each individual can create whatever surroundings they want, so even though there mightn’t seem like there is much of a point, why not create nice surroundings for the mind and body to enjoy?!?

Music and art are proven therapeutics, especially if you create them. Really focus on the love, even if it just might seem like a concept, might as well work out of there as a base as there is nothing to lose.

The works of Ken Wilber were good for me, even though I'm not fully in agreement with his stuff. Here are some youtube links that I found very useful:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFrb7vdrteQ />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5bpe6fXuPk />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaB9B5Ty3cg />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFcrjxAkGu4 />


Here is also another link worth having a look at, and if you feel you really struggle with things, get the help of a spiritual master who has experience, you can do what you want so there’s no excuses. I can only say what worked for me, no two people experience things the exact same.

Searched the internet intently for useful information and guidance and this link seems the best to me; Enlightenment, DP/DR & Falling Into the Pit of the Void ~ Shinzen Young:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zIKQCwDXsA />


All the best,

Matt

Hi, I am experiencing depersonalization going on for 6 months, following a regretful LSD trip at a festival. My story regarding meditation is similar, however without the use of substances (the trip was my first in 8 years). I have been meditating for 2 years, rather intensely, and (exactly) one year before this current experienced occurred, I had an intense meditation session, which I aborted due to fear of what was happening. The rest of the day I was completely depersonalized, which sustained only the same day and a little into the next day. I felt some intense form of clarity, at that time, and after an conversation with a friend, I understood what had happened as a sort of ego-death like experience, which calmed the fear. The following week after the meditation, I had an intense inner strength never experienced before.

However, this time after the LSD trip, six months has passed, it is more intense, the depersonalization, and much more unpleasant. I have abstained from meditation as it seemed to worsen the fear, as I could feel "something going on" inside aka the meditations were very intense. I have lately tried to engage in meditation again, but now there is no effect.

I was inspired by your comment that you are fine again, following a mind meditation. As I am very frustrated about the situation, how to understand it, get help, and more importantly get back again, I am very interested to hear from you, if you are still fine, and what helped you i.e. what sort of meditation?



Best wished

Simon, Denmark

Glad to hear you're better Matt, its easy to go astray...I did...but mistakes are okay as we're just human:) important thing though is not to repeat same mistakes and to get up and continue the journey.



It is best tackled if we view life NOT as a problem to be solved but rather as a mystery to be lived.

Wishing you a great life Matt.

Everything cool now, big mind meditation and just being a silent witness really set me back on the right track.

Thanks for the help quriousity.

Cheers quriousity, thanks for the advice.

Really appreciated.

Cheers quriousity, thanks for the advice.

Really appreciated.

Dear Matt,

With all due respects, drugs is NOT a way to spiritual enlightenment although the chemicals can induce glimpses of enlightenment. Thought separation as you write it can be accomplished by simply being a witness to all your actions, thoughts and deeds...not by suppressing them.



If acted out naturally in the right direction, fear too can be confronted with the same approach.



Please take a break, catch your breath...laugh as much as possible...this is a journey Matt, NOT a GOAL...enjoy LIFE while being a silent witness within you.



The Key To The Universe Lies In-Between The Spaces of Your Thoughts.