I'm Starting Over. Out With The Old, In With The New:)i have recently been cutting ties with all the negative, drama seekers in my life. now you would think that i must feel really lonely but to my surprise i feel wonderful!!!:D i guess evil people are just draining and although keeping them in your life gives the illusion of "having friends" it's just an illusion. it's more like sleeping with the enemy. you can't be at peace with them around so you always have your guard up. that's how i feel when i keep fake friends in my life. i am constantly on the look out, paranoid. so today i had another spring cleaning day. i deleted and blocked a few people from my fb page. i had doubts but i reminded myself that i had done this before to other people and hadn't regreted it. infact i felt great after. change is always frightning but once i took that step i felt light as a feather:)
i do wonder why do things like this keep happening. am i too giving? do they mistake my kindness and generousity for weakness and desperation? perhaps...
i don't like to be mean. i don't like to play mind games. maybe God is putting people like this in my path so i could learn to only trust him and not rely on no other person for emotional support, maybe i have to go through this so i can learn to be emotionally stronger, independant, and only give my trust to my creator, and never put no one before him. so far that's what i've learned to do.
i'm not as dependent on others when it comes to emotional support. i have grown spiritually so much ever since i started cutting negative people out of my life for the sake of peace. still i hope to one day meet people like myself and befriend them.
sometimes i think that God offers us advice through nature. like how a catepillar changes from ugly to beautiful it's alot like how children who are ugly tend to blossom into beautiful adults. or how the snake must shed it's skin to get new skin and look like new as if it were saying inorder to make room for the new you must get rid of the old. or like the ant and how it's hard work pays off, that's how life is. people who work hard enjoy the fruit of their labor, people who are lazy don't:/
i do want to make new friends but for now i have to learn to be my own friend and so far i think i've done a good job. It's not always easy. i feel attacked by those i cut off. they don't take their ego being bruised my little ol me very lightly. they parnk call me, give me dirty looks in the street, and gossip but they did that before when we were "friends" so it's really no different;) lol
out with the old, in with the new:) i can do this, i can overcome this. alls i need is my faith in God and in myself and i will be better off in the end. it'll all be worth it.