I Don't Know If I'm In A Controlling Relationship, But Some Feed Back Would Be Appreciated . :)

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now and he's great and kind and caring.but some recent incidents have me feeling differently about him. He's always told me he has trust issues bur I think it might be more than that. A class mate of mine who i always talk to in a friendly way/manner and who was a guy asked me to lunch and I said that was fine and so I gave him my number and that was that. As soon as I told my boyfriend he got all upset with me and told me to cancel lunch with him and not to go. I was starting a new school and I told my boyfriend that this classmate was only a friend and we were only going for a simple lunch. I also told him I was only trying to make some friends. My boyfriend responded, "you should try making more friends with girls instead of guys." personally i' m the kind of person with friends of both genders and I feel a little comfortable talking with guys cause they're easy to talk to and stuff. But I talk to the girls as well. anyway I ended up canceling lunch with my classmate and when I told I couldn't do lunch i felt absolutely horrible, embarrassed and just sad because I really wanted to go and just enjoy lunch with him. My classmate was upset to and when I told it was because my bf wasn't comfortable with me hanging with other guys I think he got even more upset. Ever since then I never talk to him again and to this day i still feel sad and regretful. Now my boyfriend prefers I don't hang out with my guyfriends with the exception of 1 and even when I tell him I want to go out with them we get into an argument and I end up not being able to go. I don't even talk to them anymore because I don't want ny boyfriend to get upset with me. Even one of my guy friend coworker I don't txt him anymore cause I told my boyfriend I wouldn't I don't even hang our with him either and when my guyfriend coworker asks if I wanna chill after work I make an excuse to not go . I feel so ashamed doing that to him. He's a nice guy and knows I have a bf and respects that. I feel so alone sometimes knowing that I can't see or text them anymore ... Anyway if there's anyone out there who happens to read this I kindly ask back for your feedback . Thanks :)
Painter365 Painter365
18-21, F
1 Response Sep 16, 2012

It's difficult to say who is right here. You shouldn't flirt with other guys, for sure.
I personally believe that platonic friendships between men and women are possible, so I have some female friends and I have absolutely no problem if my wife meets other men.
However I can understand that some people are just more paranoid about opposite-sex friendships, so you may just talk openly about that with your boyfriend, ask him what he's really afraid of and reassure him that you'll always be faithful because you love him more than anyone else in the world. At least if that's what you really think :)

Thanks a bunch for your feed back :). I agree with you that men and women can have platonic relationships. It personally would never bother me if my boyfriend was going to hang out with a friend who happens to be a women. I completely trust him. The last thing I ever want to do is make this situation a who's right or Wong game, I just would lime him to see where I'm coming from and know that my guy friends are people I've been friends with for a while and they know i'm in a relationship. I get your point of view though, many times I've tried to talk to him about this and we've only ended up arguing but I'm willing to always try again. I really do love him though:).