Sunday

Well odd day today went to work sober for two days running, was in a seemingly good mood to be fair, was in a different department but the staff seemed genuinely pleased.to see me with tells me two things.
1 I am too reliant on others feeling to me
2 I'm not a bad person when in work

Ok so it's still early and I decide to go see some friends and share the last of the bacon from yesterday, so with a handful of bacon sandwich and a political debate with coffee I'm called back to where I was working urgently, one of my staff had been assaulted and there was blood everywhere, however it turns out not my staffs, three lads have old of the aggressor and after the usual restraints are applied I move off, a nurse is trying to treat the aggressor but I assure her we need to be safe first a point she eventually grasps as we move off, we get to safe area and restraints removed I quikely relieve the staff and I and another begin searching procedures for weapons etc this done I ask the nurse to assist, and give first aid to the aggressor a large cut is above his eye and his blood is running down his face but all it will need is gluing so not so bad no tricky hospital movements,,,, the aggressor is now crying so hard he seems like a child which has lost his mum and I can't bare to look at him, we have not beat him or hurt him as we do not but it seems there are obvious psychological issues, for a moment an image of my son crying when. I left home comes to my mind we both cried dreadfully tears that day I have often since then, often after a large bottle of bacardi remembering his face his life seemingly destroyed his world ripped apart and the happy look at the then wife that she had succeeded to hurt me, I snap back to reality and leave the weeping blood covered aggressor to his tears I know I will now have a mountain of paperwork to deal with and hand over to the one ic,,, I return to my unit and despatch two staff to the nurse as they have seemed to have hurt themselves one with broken fingers the other ripped tendons in the foray,, these things are not unusual and we all muck in automatically to cover things till relief for them arrives,, apart from that my day off as boring watching people's movements and staffs well being and covering paperwork. few issues arise but nothing major and I head off home end of shift fairly happy, my housemate follows in his car and as I get in and give the place a good clean. Do some washing and make a cuppa, he arrives and asks what's for tea I laugh and tell him I'm not his mum so **** off.. He proceeds to the drinks cabinet and picks up a bottle of vodka I sigh inwardly but not my business to tell him how to live. He then ask after half an hour if I would run him to the shop, I already know the answer but ask why VODKA aparantly half a bottle he has is not enough so I agree and take the opportunity of the drive to state that I am worried about his drinking and concerned. He as usual agrees he is concerned and states he needs to stop it say I am watching you go down a rabbit hole and it's not good to watch, he becomes somber and distant and I think not my bloody problem, but it's sad I have been there and it spurs me in to change, I return home he picks up second bottle and returns to his corner( I refer to it as this as it seems to have become. Just that) I explain that he was singing again last night, he asks if he was naked last night I reply I do not know, can't you remember no he states was drunk, I retire to my room to my ironing time keep busy and watch an old film.............
bolloxedagain bolloxedagain
41-45, M
Dec 16, 2012