Feeling Pretty Weak Myself...

I am a better person, and I am alive for a reason.  I have to be.  How can one person go through so much and still come out a reasonably well-adjusted, usually happy person?

But even so... a person has her limits.  And I need things to get better before I find mine.  I don't want to be tested anymore.  I don't want to know how much more I can take.  I just want to be ok again.  I want to bring myself back from this pit of depression that keeps trying to consume me.  I'm not a sad person.  My presence in a room makes people smile.  And then the bottom dropped out of my life. 

I'm sure I'm supposed to learn something from this.  Maybe it was his time to die.  Maybe she wasnt right for me, and somehow fatal illness will pull my family together.  Maybe the job wasn't right for me, and I just needed a good kick to get on with my life.  But why all at once? Why does everything have to just fall on my lap at the same time?

Can't I just have some time to deal with one tragedy before the next one pops up?

kack77 kack77
6 Responses Oct 3, 2008

Thank you for all the kind words. I just wanted to update and say things got better. There were some very rough patches, but I feel like I am moving in the right direction again.

-kack77 (4 years later)

well, i realy feel what you feel..hope you take what better for you.. about all the **** that was happen in your life just let it go okay.. u been stronger of what you face . keep smile and heres big hug for you!

I would really like to repeat the words of mysteryman.

Big Bear Hug to you.<br />
<br />
Like yourself, I've just had the worst series of negative things happen to me in the last couple of years back-to-back. At my lowest ebb, all I could do to was just exist and constantly tell myself that "I am alive". No matter what it's a great feeling to know that when you hit bottom the only place you can go is UP!!!<br />
<br />
Hope this helps and if ever you wanna talk/feel alone let us know and dont be afraid to reach out

i really feel for you hunny, i wish i could say something that will help but all i can say is if you ever need someone to just listen i am more than happy to be there (((((hugs)))))) joss.

That is a question i believe alot of us want an answer to . I have had this happen more than once also. Hugs and i am sorry things are so hard .