Feeling Pretty Weak Myself...
I am a better person, and I am alive for a reason. I have to be. How can one person go through so much and still come out a reasonably well-adjusted, usually happy person?
But even so... a person has her limits. And I need things to get better before I find mine. I don't want to be tested anymore. I don't want to know how much more I can take. I just want to be ok again. I want to bring myself back from this pit of depression that keeps trying to consume me. I'm not a sad person. My presence in a room makes people smile. And then the bottom dropped out of my life.
I'm sure I'm supposed to learn something from this. Maybe it was his time to die. Maybe she wasnt right for me, and somehow fatal illness will pull my family together. Maybe the job wasn't right for me, and I just needed a good kick to get on with my life. But why all at once? Why does everything have to just fall on my lap at the same time?
Can't I just have some time to deal with one tragedy before the next one pops up?