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Not-so-happy Birthday

The last birthday I had was definitely life-changing.  I got drunk with my best friend [at the time], her brother, and her boyfriend.  We ended up going back to her dad's house where she and her brother both lived.  I had an intimate history with her brother, but had decided to no longer sleep with him.  He and I were talking and for some reason ended up going upstairs to his room.  From what I'm told, while walking up the stairs I told him that he wasn't going to get what he thought he was.  Truly I had no plans to sleep with him.  Everything about that night is still kind of fuzzy and I'm still piecing it all together. 

We were in his room, talking and goofing around.  Next thing I know he was on top of me, choking me, saying, "You know you like it."  I thought he was going to rape me and it infuriated me.  I kicked him off of me and started hitting him.  He hit me back and was slammed me against the wall.  He obviously was stronger than me but I wasn't giving up. 

At one point he said, "Get out of my room!"  Finally I did.  He said something as I was walking out and I turned around and went back for more.  He told me he was going to go wake his sister up and have her kick me out of their house.  Next thing I know he's running down the stairs yelling.  He wakes her up and keeps shouting that I'm crazy and that I need to leave.  Then their dad shows up and is yelling at me to leave.  I reply with, "I'm trying to get my sh*t so I can get the **** out of here!"

My friend's boyfriend and I walked around town barefoot for a few hours while things calmed down at the house.  He went back in to get my shoes, cell phone, and the keys to my friend's car so he could drive me back to my car.  My phone was crushed by the violator.  I was still in shock the whole time.  I couldn't grasp the concept of what had just happened even though the boyfriend kept pointing out bruises that had popped up immediately.

I drove home and crawled into bed.  I woke up feeling sore and nauseated, trying figure out what had happened.  I turned on the shower and began to undress.  It was then I noticed all of the bruises.  They were on my neck, my chest, my back, my arms, my wrists, and my legs. 

I stayed home for a few days trying to recover.  I was sore and shaken to the core.  I had never been in a situation like that before.  The girl who was supposed to be my friend wouldn't even talk to me.  She sided with her brother and wouldn't even hear what I had to say.  I can understand because it's her brother, but she knows he's insane and does things like that.  I know I shouldn't have gone upstairs with him, but I had no intentions of doing anything when I did.

I told my sister and a few close friends about what had happened.  They all wanted me to press charges, but I didn't.  I didn't think I had a leg to stand on.  I went back to fight him.  I didn't try to get away.  Also I can't say for sure that he was going to rape me.  Yes, judging by his actions it was very likely, but I don't know.  I was going to get a restraining order on him.  I also had planned on getting one on her because I figured once he was served an order she would do something crazy.  A few days later, my grandmother passed away.  That is a whole other story which I will write about later.  After losing her, nothing seemed important and I never went through with getting those restraining orders.  It worked out for me in the end.  I found out recently that he moved 3,000 miles away a week after the incident.  She has tried to contact me and revive our friendship.  I'm not willing to overlook her cruel words.  Those hurt worse than what her brother did to me.

That night still haunts me, but I learned a lot.  I learned that when it's fight or flight, I fight...and hard.  That and I'm either very brave or very stupid.  I came down those stairs as a fighter, a survivor.  I knew from then on that I could overcome anything.

***To anyone who has been in that situation and didn't come out as lucky: please, please, please be a fighter.  Report it.  Get help.  Do something before it's too late.***

heavensloss heavensloss 22-25, F 4 Responses Oct 23, 2008

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Abuse is never ok ! Maybe you might think about giving up on getting plastered though.Nothing good ever comes from it.

I agree with jim3130. Stay strong and continue to fight.

Well, thanks for your post. What you went through is nothing new to many of the females on this forum. (I happen to be a male).



What the "brother" did was disrespectful, selfish and un-called for. No woman should have to put up with that.



After all is said and done ---- you've proved that you're a "survivor". Good for you. Stay that way.



Best of luck.

Your struggle is all too familiar to those of us who have been violated in that manner. You are strong and brave to have wrote out your experience for us all to learn. Thank you for your story..........and God be with you my friend:-)