Am I Getting Too Old ?

They are all a lot younger than me and more competitive. 

I have become more caring about the people on my team, and have found I enjoy their humour, fun and enthusiasm.  I still want them to perform well, and my team have the best stats to measure our targets.  I know there is a line that I cannot cross, but I still believe I can be honest and genuine with them.  I like to believe they work well, for me.

But I get strife from my peer group, and they see me as a weak link.  I don't have the courage or 'grammer' to speak out for myself unless I become really upset.  And then I can't contain myself.

Right now, I am so near to tears in work, that I can barely function.  But I have to keep my face straight for the sake of my team, as they don't need to know what is going on behind the scenes.

Don't suggest I speak to my Manager, as she was a part of my peer group, before standing in to cover our usual manager.  She is doing the best she can, and I can't find it in me to chat to her about my issues.

Team Leaders these days are more 'HR-run' than ever before.  We are counsellors, instructors, mediators, mentors........  but we never receive the same support from our own line management.  We are deemed weak if we cannot cope, we are deemed troublesome if we challenge.

I just want fairness, truth and honesty.

Am I getting too old ?